'I'm not cleaning toilets'

[boobashka]

I'm trying to encourage my 17 year old to get a weekend/ holiday job and have texted him a range of opportunities which I've found online. I asked him to chase up one which was cleaning camper vans to which he responded 'that's not the kind of thing I want to do - I'm not cleaning toilets'. This has really got my back up. Both myself and dh cleaned toilets, washed pots and pans, chambermaided, pulled pints etc as students. I'm annoyed that I've raised someone so entitled. Who does he think he is? Advice please?

Sorry OP but I wouldn't clean stranger's toilets. And I doubt my parents would have been angry with me if I didn't want to do that at 17. Does he need money, or are you just trying to encourage him to work? Because if he needs money he'll be motivated to find a job himself. If not, he's not going to want to.

I never had jobs that included cleaning toilets and I wouldn’t have expected my children to take jobs that included toilet cleaning either. Some people have the stomach for it, some people don’t. It’s just not something I could do.

I've cleaned toilets, worked in bars ,shops , picked veg on farms , prepped veg in a freezing cold shed for a hotel, washed pots, waited tables.If you want to earn money, you'll take what's on offer until you can find something better that you like. Nobody wants to clean toilets it's literally a shitty job , but it is a paid job. I didn't have the stomach for it either but I got used to it and was g!ad of the money every week.If he doesn't want to clean toilets what would he be willing to do?

I am with him, I never have nor would take a job cleaning toilets.

He can easily avoid, I did high end fashion retail for the discount. Music shop then airport and by then I had gained my qualifications and headed into my chosen career and changed again at 30.

@chattyness he fancies a job in a shop selling outdoor wear or guitars (his hobbies) so he can get the discounts I suppose. That would be great but there are no jobs in these shops at the mo. I'm of the feeling that he should just take what he can get...

@DaisyCat33 he doesn't really need the money at the moment but he's going off to uni next year so I'd like him to start saving for that...

Then he should look for lower end retail- any high street or DIY shop selling goods like TK Max, Next, Primark, H&M, Homebase, WH Smith, Superdrug, Boots, etc

Do a bit with a major chain and then he would have the skills and experience to go for specialised retail like he wants.

Perhaps cleaning the bathrooms at home might be on rotation on the chores list at home… so everyone does their fair share of cleaning the loos that actually use?
Helped with the (lack of) cleanliness a few years back here!

It would be nice to get a job in his area of interest of course, but as you said they're not available so he'll need to find something else,shelf stacking at a supermarket or something maybe.

There are lots of options available to him that don't involve cleaning toilets or hospitality, neither of which I've ever done as a job because they don't appeal and there were other options available.

If retail or outdoorsy stuff does appeal then he should look up all places linked to that and start sending round his CV:

• other camping/hiking/fishing/sports/bicycle repair/ diy stores
• outdoor pursuits centres
• climbing wall centres
• leisure centres/lifeguarding (local council website is where these are generally advertised)
• national trust/woodland sites maintenance

I did a newspaper round from 12, fruit picking during school holidays from 13, then retail at the weekends from 15 and call centre weekends and evenings from 16 alongside A-levels and Uni so absolutely get the idea of building a work ethic, getting experience, starting from the ground up in entry level roles etc but there are a vast range of entry level roles to consider and choose from.

My kids have had jobs and never needed to clean toilets but mopped floors.

How would cleaning caravans help him getting the job he would like to get or into a field he plans to study?

He would like to work at hobby shop, so he can try working at some other shop to have some experience to show if the hobby shop vacancy appeared.

he fancies a job in a shop selling outdoor wear

Is he a mountaineer or climber ?

does he have qualifications, skills and experience to apply to such a role ?

I mean, tbf, I don't suppose many of us fancy a job cleaning camper vans, but, if he needs his Mum to find him a list of jobs, I'm guessing he just doesn't fancy getting a job.
Is he doing any volunteering anywhere ?
Does he have Leadership skills and experience through his hobbies ?

I think it's smart for him to apply at places he's interested in.

I've never cleaned toilets and I was on my own at 17.

Surely at 17 he shouldn't need his Mum to be finding jobs for him he should be looking for his own jobs and applying. Not sure about entitlement but it sounds like he has no initiative or drive.

I think it's fine not to want to do that, I wouldn't either. My work ethic is great

People are allowed a choice of where they work and who wants to clean toilets.

There are plenty of jobs for young people that don’t involve cleaning toilets. Retail? Restaurant? Hotel? Summer camps?

He isn’t entitled, I wouldn’t be mad if my DD didn’t want to clean toilets but I’d find out what else she’d want to do. I’d set her expectations low - she has to start somewhere.

Don't encourage him to believe he's a beggar with no choice.

That's a negative and soul destroying message.

If there's nothing available right now in the shop where he'd love to work, he could perhaps volunteer in a local charity shop and wait for his chance.

Or apply to other shops. It's easier to get the job you want when you already have a job.

I think there is lots of bits to this but it feels like one of those 'when I was your age I was cleaning chimneys and had rope to hold my trousers up so if you dont do this you are lazy'

sure he needs a job so he can get creative and find one

Why are you so angry with him?

Yeah there seems to more to it then one statement, if my child said this statement I may say 'dont be a twat' and move on

I wouldn't clean toilets either.

I guess he might need a bit more support as it must be quite daunting to go into the workforce with no experience at that age. Is he even any good at cleaning?

My dc have both been working since 14, one in retail and one in hospitality. Neither has cleaned a toilet.

Do his friends work?

Does he need money for things?

Mine were both keen to work for the independence of having their own money, saving for a car etc but perhaps he doesn't want money for anything?

I remember my ExH's grandma telling him that everyone had to start from the bottom and get a low paid job.

He replied: well I'm not.

He didn't either - he had his sights set higher.

Why are your aspirations for your kid so low?

If he wants a job (which clearly he isn't bothered by) then he can go out and get one.

Many kids that age earn better money and build better skills tutoring their friends at gcse.