Teenager heard us having sex

[ElenaGreco76]

Okay, my teenager was home from uni. She’s 18, has a boyfriend and is very worldly wise. At about 2 in the morning when we assumed she was asleep my partner (her step-dad) and I had sex. I’m always mindful when the kids are in the house but I think without realising at the, ahem, crucial moment, I was a bit loud. The next day she was really off and I asked what was wrong. She said she heard us and is disgusted and that I sounded like ‘an animal in pain’ 😳. I was aghast and apologised but now feel really bad - like I’ve traumatised her. Thing is, I can remember hearing my own mum and it freaked me out — it was a very strange, disturbing noise and didn’t sound like my mum.

Should I feel bad? What should I say?

You should say that you are an adult having sex in the house that you pay for.

You tell her she is old enough and presumably knowledgeable enough to exercise diplomacy and politeness when sharing a house with other people.

Your daughter is being 100% rude.
If you need to say anything, how about a reminder of how useful headphones are?

Well it's a bit late now, but tbh just gross. This used to happen to me with my parents and it still pisses me off now to think about it. Not sure what you can do but apologise and make sure it doesn't happen again

Say nothing and keep the volume down in future.

Honestly, don’t worry about it. There’s nothing you can do now. If that’s the only time she’s heard you having sex in 18 years you’ve done pretty well. Nip any comments she makes in the bud.

A reminder of how useful headphones are… at 2 in the morning?! She’s being a bit dramatic in her reaction possibly but she’s 18, that’s what they do. All you can do is apologise (and mean it) and be quiet next time. It’s just common decency to be quiet when having sex if other people would be able to hear you. That would go for anyone in the house.

Normal reaction for her to be grossed out of course !
hearing a sound like an animal in pain will obviously turn your stomach unless you are a psychopath!!

apologise and reassure that you will make sure she isn’t subjected to this horror again 😊

My son is 19 and wouldn’t behave like this, she’s trying to use it as a weapon against you.
Id apologise, which you’ve already done and tell her to get over it. These things should be laughed off.

How rude, i can just imagine if i'd said that to my mum. Fair enough to feel gross about your parents having sex but if she doesn't like it she can stay elsewhere, she's 18 not 8 ffs. It's not like she walked in on you doing it over the sofa in the living room.

Honestly heating a family member having sex is traumatic imo . But maybe that’s just me !

I can't believe people are acting like OP shouldn't be having sex in he rown bedroom at 2am.

Shes not going at it at 3pm in the living room.

Your daughter is 18, has a boyfriend and I assume is sexually active herself?

Tell her if she doenst feel comfortable she can sleep elsewhere.

Yeah you should feel bad because you were really inconsiderate by not keeping quiet. Nothing wrong with having quiet sex when someone else is in the house but loudly orgasming where your teenager can hear you is shitty. I can't comprehend why you would have done that. Can you not control yourself?

Why would you listen? Just put headphones on or sleep musiv and go back to sleep?

Nothing wrong with having sex, it's the wounded animal orgasm noises that were not ok!

Exactly
Nobody wants to hear their mother in that situation

Why on earth should OP apologise?
Obviously she now knows the level of sound that’s travelling and may want to keep it down, but why should she apologise?
She hasn’t done anything wrong.
Surely OP’s daughter has 1- had sex, 2- heard others doing it. She’s 18 so must be switched on enough to know that OP is an actual human being.

I think it’s way healthier to address it with humour.

She's a teenage girl, she's hardly going to say 'your orgasm noises are nice, mum' She was obviously trying to be nasty and hurtful. Op probably had a very standard orgasm but her daughter is being dramatic and immature.

Why was she even listening that far into it?

She should have put her headphones on from the start.

It's not impossible to keep quiet when you're having sex. She was pretty rude but at the same time I can understand how she felt. I would do everything I could to avoid my 19 year old hearing me have sex.

It is awkward for both parties but it's only natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Sounded like you enjoyed yourselves anyway and that's all that matters.

Who has head phones ready to go. They are super uncomfortable aswell.

When I heard my mum, I wasn't even sure what the hell it was at first. I thought she was being hurt.

Apologise with a casual I'll keep the noise down next time, but maybe you should buy some headphones just in case.

Its not like you were screaming the house down.
She needs to grow up and get over it.

The fact that she had a good orgasm is 'all that matters'? No it's not!

We're you 18?, 😂

NC, OP? Or first time poster?

Such a prude.

Do you know how her daughter was made?

Was she awake at 2am, or did the noise wake her?
Her reaction is that of an 18 year old, so where I can see that she could have handled it differently, I can understand her.
I don't want to hear anyone have sex, let alone my mother. And if it did wake her, I'm struggling to think of many worse ways to be woken in the middle of the night.

Be more considerate when she's in the house. It's only a few weeks of keeping the noise down.