Teenager heard us having sex

[ElenaGreco76]

Okay, my teenager was home from uni. She’s 18, has a boyfriend and is very worldly wise. At about 2 in the morning when we assumed she was asleep my partner (her step-dad) and I had sex. I’m always mindful when the kids are in the house but I think without realising at the, ahem, crucial moment, I was a bit loud. The next day she was really off and I asked what was wrong. She said she heard us and is disgusted and that I sounded like ‘an animal in pain’ 😳. I was aghast and apologised but now feel really bad - like I’ve traumatised her. Thing is, I can remember hearing my own mum and it freaked me out — it was a very strange, disturbing noise and didn’t sound like my mum.

Should I feel bad? What should I say?

This!

I remember being upset after hearing my own parents through the night having sex, I must have been around 11/12. I just remember hearing loud moaning from DM (I thought she was hurt) and the mattress creaking slowly and then gradually speeding up. I now realise she must have been having the time of her life, but it was quite traumatic for me hearing it. I asked why all the loud noises the next day and she said sex gives you a buzz and feels good when in a loving relationship.

As an adult I try my best to keep the noise down and use a pillow when reaching orgasm with DH or on my own, or make sure to do the deed loudly when DC are out at school.

OP just use a pillow next time 😉

@Dotcheck

He can't force his daughter to go to sleep with headphones; I think she can have privacy even without those complaints.

I thought your DD was 13 when I saw the thread title; she's 18 😂 get over it (not your, your DD). It's your house, your bedroom and at night- when I was 16 I came home early from school and saw my parents on the sofa 🤮 and I thought I'd over dramatised it by running out the house. Never mentioned again.

Regarding the noise as PP have said, use a pillow.

Maybe she thought you weren’t being considerate considering you say you were loud? I’m sure if you heard your daughter loudly having sex you wouldn’t be too impressed either.

I would apologise and make more effort to be quiet in future, it’s just considerate for others in the house, no one wants to hear their family members having sex. I heard my parents a few times as a teenager and I remember being really grossed out by it, obviously I’m not traumatised, but I remember feeling disgusted and very uncomfortable at the time, which is probably why her reaction is a bit OTT.