Teenager refusing to come on holiday

[Hairbaby]

Hi I am a mum of 3. Oldest DS 18 this year. Me his dad and 2 younger siblings age 16,12 going on holiday this year. Spain for 10 days. We booked for just the four of us as oldest was working and couldn’t get time off but now he can so were going to add him in. He is point blank refusing to come ! He said it’s embarrassing going on holiday would rather go with his friends( was meant to be going but got stopped as can’t trust him. Long story) I feel so hurt that the boy I brought up in a loving and close family acting like this! I’m really upset as is his dad. He’s a totally different boy to the one I bring up. My mum will be house sitting anyway as we have the dog so she will be able to keep an eye on him. Is this normal 🤷🏼‍♀️

Our family had the same with my brother. He was 17 at the time. Parents paid nearly 8k for four of us for a two week holiday and he sat in the room in the dark for two weeks. He was miserable as hell and moaned constantly.

ever since he’s always stayed at home. (I’m now 30 and still tagging along with my parents!)

I’d leave him at home. If he acts up on holiday it’ll only ruin it for you all.

..At what point do you start trusting them if not now?

Im guessing that trust is a bit thin on the ground atm given a few weeks ago he almost died following taking ecstasy at 17 years old.

@SharpLily My DD is also coming up 18 and my observations of that cohort are:

Alcohol: They drink moderately when together, much less than I did at her age (don’t tell DD)and I’ve only ever picked them up merry, never drunk.

Drugs: As weed is easily accessible, I think many of them have tried a joint. I know DD has, she didn’t enjoy it and doesn’t smoke anything now. Otherwise they seem sensibly scared of drugs, they’ve had the dangers drilled into them.

Sex: Yes, several of them are having it, probably about as much as we did at that age. V. responsible with contraception.

So my experience is that Gen Z is less daft than their Gen X parents, tbh. 🤣

Totally normal for a teenager to think he’s too cool to holiday with his parents.

I completely understand why you won’t let him go given his recent history with drug misuse - I would be the same.

If all his friends end up going and he’s the only one that doesn’t go he could end up resenting you. If he’s going to take drugs, again, he’ll do it whether it’s in this country or abroad. I know you only have his best interest at heart - good luck.

I stopped going on holiday with my parents when I was about 15.

I do go on holiday with them now though.

I’m with you OP, I would so upset too. 18 year old still need a lot of support and guidance, you were right to stop him going away with his friends if you knew it wasn’t the right time for him yet.