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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Son has ordered something suspicious by post

131 replies

SpangledShambles · 17/02/2023 18:36

He’s 18. It’s disguised as choc squares and obviously it’s an illegal substance. He’s away atm. I had gut feel from recent conversations and from the shape and feel of package and opened it. I don’t usually open other people’s post of course but this is my son’s welfare, also my money and my home address. I’m trying to work out best approach to deal with this. Any advice? It’s the first time he’s done this.

OP posts:
Seabreezeme · 17/02/2023 18:46

Do you actually know it's illegal drugs? I would open it all up. If you have gone as far as opening his mail you might aswell go all the way & actually know for sure before you go in. I wouldn't have drugs in my home. It's still your home no matter his age. That's my rules after 18, they have the keys to their own life but my home my rules. I would ask them to leave

Dillydollydingdong · 17/02/2023 18:46

So what is it? Cannabis presumably? He's an adult at 18 so obviously he can make his own decisions. Hard to know what to do really. Personally I'd dispose of it and explain to him that I don't want it on my premises.

justasking111 · 17/02/2023 18:49

I'd tell him I've binned it but wouldn't just incase he's buying for someone else in which case there could be unpleasant repercussions

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 17/02/2023 18:50

What is it? Cannabis? CBD chocolate...?

You shouldn't be opening his post. I would wait till he got home.

LondonQueen · 17/02/2023 18:52

It depends what it is, how do you know it's actually drugs? I'd speak to him about it and make sure he hasn't been coerced into buying it for someone else. Then if it is for personal use, bin it. I'd also be having a conversation with him about getting an income so he isn't using your money for this sort of stuff at 18. He should start paying for luxuries.

Bunce1 · 17/02/2023 18:54

Magic mushroom chocolate is my bet. The tricky thing about that one square will have nothing in it then another square could be packed with it.

MamaBear1022 · 17/02/2023 18:56

Has he been to Amsterdam or had friends who have been recently? They can send stuff in the post.

Soakitup37 · 17/02/2023 19:12

You knew it was illegal from the shape and feel of the packaging 🤨

unless you actually know what it is, then to that end you’re in the wrong for opening his post. Is he allowed to open yours?

If it is illegal, he’s 18 - what exactly do you think you’ll control by confronting him?

justasking111 · 17/02/2023 19:12

Bunce1 · 17/02/2023 18:54

Magic mushroom chocolate is my bet. The tricky thing about that one square will have nothing in it then another square could be packed with it.

When you think you've heard everything.

Lost a customer who accelerated into a tree. He was having a flashback three weeks after a magic mushroom weekend. It's stored in the liver apparently.

lljkk · 17/02/2023 19:13

Friday night OP. I think it's time for you to indulge in some chocolate sampling & pretend you thought it was a delayed Valentine's pressie from your secret Admirer: No you're not going to explain! You meant to keep that Admirer a secret. and is that a dragon flying around behind his head just now?

plumduck · 17/02/2023 19:15

Apologise for eating his chocolate and see how he reacts

Greblegable · 17/02/2023 19:16

justasking111 · 17/02/2023 19:12

When you think you've heard everything.

Lost a customer who accelerated into a tree. He was having a flashback three weeks after a magic mushroom weekend. It's stored in the liver apparently.

Show quote history

How did his post mortem show he’d been tripping? Scaremongering nonsense.

Nimbostratus100 · 17/02/2023 19:19

you deal with it out in the open.

Where is he and when is he back?

You contact him right now and he comes home

Dont keep this on your premises overnight.

You make it absolutely clear that he has totally crossed a line - he gets it off your premises right now, and next time he has anything like this in your home he is out on his ear with immediate effect

GoldDuster · 17/02/2023 19:20

Text him you're sorry but you've eaten his chocolate delivery, you couldn't resist and it was so delicious you scoffed the lot.

Nimbostratus100 · 17/02/2023 19:22

He has given drug dealers your address

I am a teacher, we have had families have to move after such incidents

We have had teens have to go into hiding away from their families and the parents move to a different part of the country

Several cases a year of major traumas after drug dealers finding out their customers addresses,

He is supporting an industry using child slaves close to your vicinity, and had put you in direct contact with criminals, slave traders, people smugglers and organised crime, and told them where you live

Nimbostratus100 · 17/02/2023 19:25

GoldDuster · 17/02/2023 19:20

Text him you're sorry but you've eaten his chocolate delivery, you couldn't resist and it was so delicious you scoffed the lot.

This is nt something to make light of

this is potentially life changing for the whole family

I hope for your sake he "gets away with it" OP, but that doesnt change the fact he has put his whole family in danger without any care on consideration

Does he have any sort of SEND? asking because this is more usual in younger teens, by 18 most have more sense

Dacadactyl · 17/02/2023 19:27

If he is spending your money damn right you can open his post.

Stop giving him any cash whatsoever for a start and confront him about it.

Gingerkittykat · 17/02/2023 19:28

MamaBear1022 · 17/02/2023 18:56

Has he been to Amsterdam or had friends who have been recently? They can send stuff in the post.

You can buy cannabis online from Amsterdam directly from sellers as it is legal there. It comes in sniffer dog proof packaging, there is still a risk it will be confiscated by customs though.

I know this because a relative buys it this way.

lljkk · 17/02/2023 19:28

of course it's funny, nobody keeps their sanity with teenagers if you don't find humour in living them them.

ItsLoudInMyMind · 17/02/2023 19:28

Can you post a photo?
Id like to see what obvious drugs disguised like chocolate squares look like.

Do you mean stuff is packed into little squares? Moulded? Squashed into a chocolate wrapper?

Nimbostratus100 · 17/02/2023 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lewiscapaldi · 17/02/2023 19:31

How can you have a gut feeling from the shape and feel of the package?! It could be completely innocuous. CBD is legal and does absolutely fuck all, if that's what it is.

I bought some absolutely awful legal highs when I was 19, there's a big difference between those and acid from the dark web.

newjobnewstartihope · 17/02/2023 19:41

Nimbostratus100 · 17/02/2023 19:22

He has given drug dealers your address

I am a teacher, we have had families have to move after such incidents

We have had teens have to go into hiding away from their families and the parents move to a different part of the country

Several cases a year of major traumas after drug dealers finding out their customers addresses,

He is supporting an industry using child slaves close to your vicinity, and had put you in direct contact with criminals, slave traders, people smugglers and organised crime, and told them where you live

What an absolute drama llama you are!

newjobnewstartihope · 17/02/2023 19:43

Nimbostratus100 · 17/02/2023 19:22

He has given drug dealers your address

I am a teacher, we have had families have to move after such incidents

We have had teens have to go into hiding away from their families and the parents move to a different part of the country

Several cases a year of major traumas after drug dealers finding out their customers addresses,

He is supporting an industry using child slaves close to your vicinity, and had put you in direct contact with criminals, slave traders, people smugglers and organised crime, and told them where you live

Someone ordered some cannabis chocolate and they were hounded out of their home by machete wielding dealers? Yeah sure

Cocobutt · 17/02/2023 19:45

Can you take a photo?
Surely it’s got packaging.

Sounds like normal chocolate or the viagra chocolate that was doing the rounds around Valentine’s Day.

You shouldn’t be opening his post.

If you though it was something illegal then you should wait for him to come home and ask him what it is.