Dd just completed year 9 age 14
her boyfriend of around 4 months just finished year 10 age 15
first proper relationship for both of them
spending loads of time together - lots of laughing, ‘he’s like my best friend’ etc they watch movies and play on the trampoline…
I have spoken to DD loads (I thought) about sex / relationships / consent / legal issues etc
She Today has told me that they had unprotected sex twice in last month
and the stress of possible pregnancy has been unbearable and that is why she is now telling me
She’s had a period since
I’m in shock - she’s so young, I feel guilty that This has happened on my watch
i have allowed her to have door closed when he’s over
I’ve left them in the house alone knowingly - I’ve let her down.
I'm glad she has told me of course and what I’ve done is:
thanked her for telling me
asked about consent / coercion issue
emphasised there are other ways to be close / intimate etc
she’s very young for a sexual relationship and it’s better to wait
this relationship will end at some point - be aware of that
NO nude pictures - ever ever ever
unprotected sex is absolutely NOT on - I really thought she would know that - she said it just happened in the moment
plan -
to get pregnancy test for her and condoms
keep talking to her about all of the above
I feel so bad / guilty and ashamed -
I can’t tell my friends, none of their similar age kids are in relationships they will judge me / her -
feeling like a bit of a failure and trying to put things right but now she’s crossed that bridge there is no going back - gutted.