While some teenage eye rolling attitude and distance is normal, I don’t think constant refusal to engage or be affectionate or respectful at all is normal.
From the learning about parenting I’ve done stuff can come out in the teenage years from younger years. Stuff you thought was fine but actually bothered them but was too complex for them to describe or you made it clear you didn’t want to hear.
An example. I was away when my gcse results came out. I asked my parents to wait until I got home, not open them and read them down the phone to me. When I got home, I took them to the bathroom, locked myself in and opened them alone.
I did v well but there disnt matter: My mum was upset I didn’t want to open them with her and has never let me forget it. She still brings it up now and I’m in my mid 40s.
I tend to grey rock these kind of stories and she assumes I now agree I was being outrageous.
I do not. I would do the same again and now see more clearly WHY I did it. To have my achievement be my own moment and not all about her.
She tends to make most things about me about her.
This pattern has continued in my adult life and she has had little involvement and sometimes zero knowledge of significant things (I kept her out of my pregnancies and I chose to tell her nothing of my struggles to conceive or multiple miscarriages).
Keeping a diary of events as an outlet for your feelings is one thing. A more positive next step would be trying to see things from her point of view.
Are you smothering her? Looking for validation from her? Looking for your own hang ups and insecurities to be reflected by her?
My mum did all these things, and it continues to this day.
If you want a good relationship with your daughter as she becomes an adult you need to look hard at yourself and your part in this.
Get some therapy?