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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

When did you lose your virginity?

234 replies

kit47 · 30/10/2021 16:24

My DD 14 is very sensible and whilst I'm not worried about her, a conversation we had this morning shocked me!
Talking about having sex and the age most people lose their virginities. We talk about 16 as age of consent in UK before she tells me that lots of girls in her year at school (Y9) have already had sex, some even doing it in Y8. DD said most of the girls were pleased to have 'got it out the way'! DD said she was not ready and that was fine too (phew!)
I lost my virginity at 16 and thought that was quite average, I had no regrets. It got me thinking though, what age did you 'lose it' and did you regret it being at that age?

OP posts:
Original poster
kit47 · 30/10/2021 17:00

@SmallPrawnEnergy it's completely about when you feel ready. I was still playing with barbies at 13 (I had a sister who was 9 so feel kinda justified in doing so haha) and was not ready then but wouldn't be surprised if my DD feels ready. I would have an issue with it if he was older than her, say 16+. Then it feels very wrong in my eyes

OP posts:
Lulu1919 · 30/10/2021 17:01

18 and we got married ....still married 30 years later !!!

asfuckedascanbe1224 · 30/10/2021 17:03

14, yes regret

MrsBungle · 30/10/2021 17:05

16 and 4 days. With my boyfriend who id been with around 6 months. No regrets. We specifically waited until I was 16.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 30/10/2021 17:05

In the upper 6th so was either 17 or 18. With my then boyfriend, it felt fine. This was mid 80s.

Dh was 23 and said he felt he was a late starter. He had a long-term girlfriend for 2 years at uni but apparently she never wanted to. After they split he had a holiday fling and "got it out of the way" as he put it!

Neither of my dc have disclosed to.me when they lost their virginity but I am fairly sure they were at least 16 or 17. Mostly because of lack of opportunity before then I think!

Bluntness100 · 30/10/2021 17:07

19 but I was fooling around from about 15. I was only 19 becayse I wasn’t in a long term relationship till thn and literally changed boy friend every two weeks, there was always another guy asking me out and I just had fun.

samesign · 30/10/2021 17:07

15 and he dumped me the same day so yes I regret it but I've slept with plenty of others I regret too so try not think about it much.

Indoctro · 30/10/2021 17:07

13 to a boy about 18 which I now know was totally inappropriate but I've zero regrets and I certainly wasn't coerced into it in anyway.

Can't say I've ever really given it much thought.

Vbree · 30/10/2021 17:08

15, almost 16. With an awful person so not ideal. Doesn't really matter to me 20 odd years later though.

Original poster
kit47 · 30/10/2021 17:08

@EmmaGrundyForPM my DS 16 hasn't told me but I'm pretty sure he has at 15 - he stayed at a 'friends' for a few nights when our family friends were away and their daughter 16 (who he definitely had a crush on!) was housesitting. He came back VERY happy and relaxed... and insisted on doing his own washing which never happened before or after this! They are now dating which is quite sweet

OP posts:
CatherinedeBourgh · 30/10/2021 17:16

13, nearly 14 and no regrets.

Instigated by me (he was 16) after we’d been dating for a year, carried on dating for another 2 years.

Glad I did it when I did, my next bf was an asshole who pressured me into sex, if I hadn’t been experienced and confident by then I might not have dumped him as quickly.

Okki · 30/10/2021 17:17

My DD is 14 in YR 10. I find the teenage attitude these days very casual compared to where I grew up (not UK). But it's lovely as she talks to me about anything and everything and I hope it stays that way. Students have had sex already - starting in YR9. Some were a one off to try it and some are in relationships. Those who are doing it all seem to be about the same age. DD says she's not ready yet and I hope it stays that way for a couple of years yet, but she knows how to be safe and that she can go to the doctor for contraception without my permission if she doesn't want to tell me.

SweetPetrichor · 30/10/2021 17:19

I was 18. It was both our first times, and we’re still together. No regrets.

Embroidery · 30/10/2021 17:20

I never get these threads. Why is Prince Andrew cancelled for putting his arm around a 17yo as a 22yo, in a culture when 14yos are still now sexually active and certainly everyone was by 17yo back then. Most women now 35+ were sexually active from 14yo. I do think its too early esp nowadays, but dont get the double standard. Is 17yos having sex a crime, or not?

sunshineandshowers21 · 30/10/2021 17:20
  1. no regrets at all. still together 16 years on.
AMomHasNoName · 30/10/2021 17:22

17, I regret it a little now as I just wanted it done with and lost it to my first real boyfriend. I Wish i had waited as I met my now DH a few months later and we are still together 16 years later.

LetHimHaveIt · 30/10/2021 17:23
  1. Too late, but I wouldn't have been anywhere near ready at 16, and don't honestly think anyone is.
IAmTheLovechildOfYvesAndIsabel · 30/10/2021 17:25

15 but a few weeks off my 16th. I was completely in love and ready and wanted to do it. We'd been together for 3 months by that point and stayed together for the next 2 years. Friends for another 11.
But, despite this very positive sounding first time experience, the actual relationship completely exploded my life and put me on a path that I am really not sure I would have gone down otherwise. The repercussions can still be seen today.
The point I think I am trying to make is that it's not as clear cut as an age thing or whether this person is someone you're in a relationship with or you just hook up with them purely because you want to lose your virginity.
I think the "ideal" age is when you feel ready and it's 100% something you want to do.

RacketeerRalph · 30/10/2021 17:26

My 15th birthday.

Absolutely no regrets, I was 100% certain I wanted to do it and fancied the boy like mad.

I actually regret not sleeping with more people, and I've slept with quite a few!

SlamLikeAGuitar · 30/10/2021 17:27

I was 15, and yes I do regret it.
I was pressured into it by my older boyfriend who no surprises turned out to be something of a shit Hmm

Original poster
kit47 · 30/10/2021 17:28

I am loving the variety on this thread. Definitely is to do with who you're with, and your own maturity than simply age.

OP posts:
stingofthebutterfly · 30/10/2021 17:30

19, and I'm still with him nearly 20 years later.

Teenagers talk a lot of crap.

MerryPumpkinmas · 30/10/2021 17:31

17 and I was the second out of my group of friends, think the earlier girl was 16 - this was about 10 years ago.

DramaLlllama · 30/10/2021 17:33
  1. No regrets for waiting but in hindsight wished I’d waited longer cos it was pretty shit 😂
Peanutmnm · 30/10/2021 17:33
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