DD won’t use tampons

[ForPitySake]

Some advice please. DD is 14 and has been coping OK with periods but is refusing to use tampons. This means the swimming she has always loved needs to stop as we can’t keep paying for lessons she’s not turning up to just because she won’t use them. I’ve tried talking to her but she is very defensive and shuts down and won’t discuss it so I don’t know what she doesn’t like or what she is struggling with. She finds it very hard to talk about it and I’m getting nowhere. I can’t help if I don’t know the problem. She loves her swimming but this is now such a stumbling block for her, I don’t know how to help. Any suggestions?

www.modibodi.co.uk/collections/swim

Would she consider these?

If she doesn’t want to put anything into her vagina she doesn’t have to.

Leave her alone and don’t make an issue out of it.

If she doesn't want to she doesn't have to. Why on earth anyone would believe this is something they should bag or chide their teenaged daughter into doing is astonishing.

She can't be missing many swimming lessons given that even if she's regular she's only having a period five days per month. Many teens have fewer.

Surely its up to her if she wants to give up swimming when she's got her period.

Can't she just swim for fun when she's not got her period and give up on the lessons?

It’s her choice. If she doesn’t feel comfortable you pushing it isn’t going to help. I would suck it up and just let her miss the odd lesson.

If you can afford it just keep paying for the lessons. Unless her periods are very frequent or long lasting it will only be 1/4 of lessons she will miss surely.

I'm in my 30s and I hate tampons, never could get along with them. I've also got a 14 year old DD and if she wanted to use tampons I'd support that but I also support that she doesn't.

*nag that should say.

The poster above has a good suggestion for swim wear which will solve the issue.

Please leave her alone. She’ll come round sooner or later, but it has to be her choice.

I remember finding tampons stressful too and I wouldn't have wanted my mum grilling me about it. It's quite nerve wracking putting something up there for the first time.

Her body, her choice. Buy some of the teenage ones and put them in the bathroom and tell her that they are there is she ever wants to try them.

Please don’t think I’m forcing her into this as I’m not. It’s such a shame for her to give up what she’s always loved when she has an option

I couldn’t use them till I was about 18 or 19. I found them very uncomfortable. Even now I still find them uncomfortable. Don’t pressure her and let her keep her swimming

Yes, it’s what I’ve done. I’ve not made a big deal about any of it but she just won’t discuss it. It’s just a flat no and then gets upset but won’t tell me why she’s upset

If she doesn't want to use them then stop pressuring her.

Do you want her to give up swimming completely because you make her feel bad about missing one a month like half the other girls will probably do to.

Shes 14, give her a break , tampons are a big step for some. They take time to get used to.

Please stop Guiting her about it

Leave her alone! Im 30 and have never got on with tampons, she shouldnt have to explain to you her sanpro choices.

If she loves swimming it just seems spiteful for you to stop her lessons just because shes missing one every 4 weeks (at most, possibly less depending on timing of periods etc)

Any teenager who wants to do a sporting activity should be encouraged in my opinion. I imagine there’s enough going on in her life without her having to justify why she doesn’t want to use tampons. I think you should tell her it’s her choice and just let her miss 1/4 of the lessons.

Yes, I know. I was the same which is why I’ve really wanted to keep it her choice. We really have to find the money for the swimming and the ones she misses keeps just costing us. I know we’d be paying it anyway but it’s a waste

Moon cup? Period pants? She has options. But ultimately her choice I think.

I still can’t use them and I’m approaching menopause!!!

You can buy swim suits for periods (as linked above). Leave her be, it’s a shame but it’s her body and her choice.

Did you see the link to the period swimwear?

My dd is 21 and has never used tampons, she just doesn't like the idea of them.

As a young women it's your daughters choice what she uses, not yours.

tampons are hideous and as someone who had a mild case not tss I would never force anyone let alone a child to use them.

Why does she need to give up swimming? Her period is 3-5 days once a month surely so why does she need to give it up every week?

Just leave her be. She doesn’t want to discuss it.

God Almighty leave her alone. I loathed tampons as a teenager. They're hard to get the hang of, difficult to figure out the angle, can be uncomfortable if they're not in far enough and believe it or not there are people who don't like sticking a sharp finger in to their vaginas up to the knuckle! And applicators are almost as bad, they are all sharp edges.

And actually I never really used them thereafter. I was fully a pad girl until I got a coil in.

If it means she has to skip the odd swimming lesson then clearly she'd prefer that to tampons. She's not stupid, she realises it's one or the other. So respect her decision and leave it be.

Yes, this is what we’ve been doing but money is so tight that now they’re going to start again soon, we’ve had to think how much the wasted lessons cost