DH wants to allow DS access to porn

[Wingingit76]

We have 3 teens in the house and currently have parental controls on the Wi-fi set to “light” (can go on social media but cannot access porn, violence, gambling etc). Their iPhones are also set to “limit adult websites” and they have a few other restrictions on them.

My DH now wants to allow them to be able to access porn, he said he can allow a certain website on the parental controls so they can access it. I’m not totally happy about this as I think they are too young to just have unrestricted access to a porn site. We have spoken to all of them about porn and they understand it isn’t a realistic view of a sexual relationship, how they need to understand consent, body images etc, etc.

I am fully aware they have seen stuff on their phones in their group chats and stuff but by allowing a website just makes me feel complicit in all of this.

Phew, got it off my chest now 😫😫

I hope the OP got the fright of her life before she de-registered; her thread should have read H wants the kids to watch porn so Ive thrown him out. But now its drawing out other posters who feel comfortable to say hey, its not so bad ...

No way!

I would not allow my kids access to porn whether they were 15 or 25 in my home. Ever.

What a shocking thing for your DH to suggest! What the hell is he thinking?

Why don’t you put up a calendar of naked hunky men on your fridge as well while you are at it...

If this is about your DS messaging girls, allowing him to watch porn is the worst decision.

"You should have respect for girls son, now here, watch some women getting choked, slapped and spat on for male entertainment." It's going to exacerbate any issues, not calm them down.

@Gymrabbit95 I think your name is very telling! I learned everything I know from watching porn in my teens. Did me a favour actually as at school we weren’t given any sex education. I don’t you realize this or are necessarily a bad person or anything, but if porn taught you everything you need help.

That’s so weird 😆 Does he want to be the cool parent who lets them do anything they like. Will he be taking them to a brothel next?

No no no no no no no

I’d LTB over this.

They're not porn apologists. They're condoning sexual abuse of minors. Should we assume the MAP / paedophile community has found MN again?

There’s lots of helpful research and resources:

www.echildhood.org/things_our_kids_are_learning

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/31/how-to-talk-to-teenagers-about-porn

www.stuff.co.nz/technology/digital-living/116234058/teen-boys-battle-distressing-thoughts-of-hurting-girls-after-watching-violent-pornography

kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/what-consent

Everyone watches it. At least everyone between 16 and 27

Urgh. I really dislike views like this. Just because you do something, does not mean everyone else does. Sheesh. Some people.

This is truly disgusting, I don't have the words. If my dp said this to me my skin would crawl and he'd be out the door!!

@HopeMumsnet are you still able to get in touch with the OP?

This is so serious for safeguarding reasons I wonder if you are allowed to contact her and refer her into organisations she can get support from.

If you have any other contacts details for her are you able to refer to police? Social service? NSPCC?

This is wrong and could be indicative of a different sort of risk.

Jesus Christ, that’s a bit extreme! It says he wanted to allow it not that it has been allowed. It’s not like he is sitting there watching porn with his kids!!

I’m sure there are millions of households with no restrictions on their internet or phones and the kids are just watching anything.

This has got way out of hand by the looks of it.

@Gymrabbit95
@Charlotteli

What's your definition of porn? The reason I ask is because there's a whole spectrum of porn, up to and including adult on child rape, bestiality, adult on adult rape. Would you consider this to be 'educational' and therefore ok to view with teens, or indeed with anyone?

It does say something though that @Gymbunny95 you say you learned everything about sex by watching porn. How do you think we all managed to have great sex before the advent of the internet?

Your DH is sick

I would phone the police and ask them. Just say Mr. winging it wants our children to watch porn, what do you think is it legal.

Gawd Pie never really went away did they.

Phone the police?! What planet are you on?!
As if the police have nothing better to do
If you must phone someone, the NSPCC helpline would be a better call.
Not that it's necessary if OP is able to assert herself and her husband is willing to listen.

I would phone the police and ask them. Just say Mr. winging it wants our children to watch porn, what do you think is it legal

Lol ‘my husband wants to take content lock off our internet, send help’

‘Lol’ my husband is taking the content lock off our internet so our 14 year old child can watch people getting shagged. Also said 14 year old is already sexually harassing children. I’d fucking send help

The husband belongs on a register and his kids aren’t far behind

What an apology for a man. What can he be thinking of? I would not want him anywhere near me or my children. This is child abuse. He is certainly not proposing this for their benefit, but for his own twisted satisfaction. Are you really prepared to share your home and the parenting of your children with this sick individual?

Wait until an irate parent gets in touch about your creep of a son msgin their daughter asking what she’s wearing!

I wonder if the OP
Is actually a man ?

Stop endlessly monitoring your children, it should be up to them to decide what they are and aren't ready to see.

Why are you discussing this in front of your children like they should have a say?! If they are so desperate for porn they’ll find it themselves. I think it’s bleak and misogynistic to enable them. And your husband is obviously having a fiddle as well

Well the website shouldn’t be restricted. It could help the child(ren) become more aware and educated. Surely, banning the website would lead to one of the children experimenting outside of their home with other people.