DH wants to allow DS access to porn

[Wingingit76]

We have 3 teens in the house and currently have parental controls on the Wi-fi set to “light” (can go on social media but cannot access porn, violence, gambling etc). Their iPhones are also set to “limit adult websites” and they have a few other restrictions on them.

My DH now wants to allow them to be able to access porn, he said he can allow a certain website on the parental controls so they can access it. I’m not totally happy about this as I think they are too young to just have unrestricted access to a porn site. We have spoken to all of them about porn and they understand it isn’t a realistic view of a sexual relationship, how they need to understand consent, body images etc, etc.

I am fully aware they have seen stuff on their phones in their group chats and stuff but by allowing a website just makes me feel complicit in all of this.

Phew, got it off my chest now 😫😫

If your son is harassing random girls on messenger then take his phone off him for fucks sake!! Your child’s turning into a sex pest! How old are these girls he’s messaging? If my 14yo daughter got a text asking what she was wearing, the police would be the least of your worries. They don’t need to be given porn to ‘stop them going to far’ with inappropriately messaging little girls!!

You're husband is an idiot and the older one needs a bloody good talking to. Seriously creepy asking random girls what they are wearing.

I hope that this is a sick wind up. If not, how can you bear to be in the same room as your vile husband? Porn FFS. He must really fucking hate women and want your kids to do the same.

And read the article upthread.

Just read the update about messaging random girls. I’d take their phone away until they can be responsible enough to use it appropriately.

Your son is going the same way as his father it seems. How disgusting.

It won't help stop your stepson inappropriately messaging girls will it,
watching a load of porn would not help that.

It's also illegal

It's also a bit weird.

*It doesn’t matter what ages.

You should be teaching your children (and DH) that watching trafficked and vulnerable women getting raped is wrong. Not condoning it by removing parental controls*

This. In bucket loads.
It's just so wrong on every level.

Horrible. Just horrible.

It’s not a reasonable idea.

If they want something to watch whilst they wank the normal internet is teeming with sexy/romantic YouTube clips from movies, let them use that!

Your DH is disgusting.

What? No. Ewwwwww.

Rewarding children with access to pornography for acting sexually inappropriately and illegally is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard in my life. If anything, it'll give the 14 year old ideas for further snaps to demand from and share with other children - and quite possibly get them on the Sex Offenders Register themselves.

saying hi and what are you up to, but a couple he has asked what they are wearing

I would think a conversation about appropriate message content would be in order, not throwing porn at the situation. Your DH sounds unhinged and for you to have to ask whether it’s okay or not is also really odd.

As they are/near 16, I would be inclined to agree with your DH to remove the content locks

I don't think I could stay married to a man who thought that watching videos of sexual abuse was OK, let alone OK for his sons.

This thread is too much for a rainy lockdown morning when you have a sweet little 12 year old daughter who worries about her body

It’s not a teen boy’s right to access sex or talk sexually to girls. One of my sons has had a girlfriend for over a year and they are not sexually active but we’ve spoken at length about respect in relationships, legalities and also good old fashioned morals and common sense. I also do random checks on my sons’ phones!
I was ranting on another thread recently about unfair stereotypes of teenage boys which do not describe my dc and many others, and it’s men like your dh who encourage boys to grow into another generation of misogynistic, sex entitled men and perpetuate stereotypes that young men are all predatory when they are not.
I was groped a number of times as a teen and would be horrified to think another generation of men could think this is ok.

😮 actually couldn’t believe what I was reading. ‘Your not totally happy with it’ happy, I’d be bloody furious if my husband had ever suggested anything like it when my kids were teens! 14 and 16 for gods sake they’re children!!!

You should be teaching your children (and DH) that watching trafficked and vulnerable women getting raped is wrong. Not condoning it by removing parental controls

THIS.

Your DH is a complete misogynistic arse and by not putting your foot down you are being complicit.
Go ahead, let him encourage your boys to watch porn, then sit back and wait for a knock on your door from the police. You do know that this is how sexual predators behave don't you?

If this is your DHs way of dealing with your 14 year old sending inappropriate messages, I can see where the 14 year old gets his ideas from. They are both creepy and wrong.
I’d go nuclear at DH. He needs to actually parent your children instead of suggesting illegal and damaging ideas.
Dealing with inappropriate messaging is much easier than dealing with porn addicts.

Are you for real OP? Are you seriously for real? Because it sounds like you're one of these pathetic surrendered wives for whom the male of the species reigns supreme.
Here's a thought for you:
Act like a proper, responsible adult and tell that idiot husband of yours to crawl back into his cave.

This has to be a wind up. Your stepson is creeping on girls, and your husbands answer to this is to encourage him into using pornography instead to get those urges to sexualise and degrade women out of his system more constructively?

If true, yuk.

Your dh is a dangerous weirdo. If this is real

If this is real your husband is a creep. I'd divorce him.

How shortsighted of your DH. If your child gets access to porn does he actually think he will stop messaging girls or will it give him further fuel to do this and start requesting pictures and acts based on what he has seen?