DH wants to allow DS access to porn

[Wingingit76]

We have 3 teens in the house and currently have parental controls on the Wi-fi set to “light” (can go on social media but cannot access porn, violence, gambling etc). Their iPhones are also set to “limit adult websites” and they have a few other restrictions on them.

My DH now wants to allow them to be able to access porn, he said he can allow a certain website on the parental controls so they can access it. I’m not totally happy about this as I think they are too young to just have unrestricted access to a porn site. We have spoken to all of them about porn and they understand it isn’t a realistic view of a sexual relationship, how they need to understand consent, body images etc, etc.

I am fully aware they have seen stuff on their phones in their group chats and stuff but by allowing a website just makes me feel complicit in all of this.

Phew, got it off my chest now 😫😫

Depressing to see some porn apologists on here.

It's amazing anyone knew how to have sex at all until about 15 years ago, if porn is so vital to education.

If they can have sex legally, why not allow them to watch porn?

FFS. Do you know anything about this foul industry? Or do you actively enjoy masturbating to women experiencing abuse - just as long as you get your seedy rocks off eh?

Gymbunny95
"If they can have sex legally, why not allow them to watch porn?"
Because sex and porn are not the same in law (thankfully!).
As I've already pointed out several times, allowing them to watch porn is illegal.

OP has run away. Hopefully to tell her 14 year old to stop sexually harrassing females and to throw out her husband.

The 14 yr old is messaging random girls on messenger

What???

I agree that porn can be valuable in education. I was raised by prudish parents and we had no sexual education beyond ‘if you’re not married, don’t do it’. It’s not to say that people couldn’t have good sex before porn, it’s just that it’s helpful to find out new things about what you like especially if you’ve had little education on the subject.

Another who enjoys masturbating to abuse. I despair.

Yuk .nasty
My dh likes to set a good example to our sons
Shame that yours does not

How is this okay? OP, please intervene now you do not want your fourteen year old to get into serious trouble over this.

You think porn is how you learn what good sex is? Porn is violence packaged as sex. It teaches boys that sex is fucking someone against their will, in groups, to the point of injury. Why don’t people see that by now? Most people need deconditioning from porn just to have healthy sex lives.

That's far too young. Sorry but that's technically illegal and will give them an awful sense of what sex is and make their chatting to girls more damaging if anything.

I'm sure my sons have accessed porn at some stage but I certainly didn't enable it.
I'd be really worried about the addictive nature of pornography,this isn't going to be looking at the equivalent of what used to be page 3 girls. Anal sex is going to feature highly on anything they view and this creates worrying expectations. If they stray into anything involving child porn,even if this is accidental,how will you cope with it especially if they've been given parental approval to view porn. Sharing screenshots and worries around that would really concern me. Pornography may have a place but I don't think it should ever be enabled by a parent.
Are you the only female in the house, I'd feel really uncomfortable with that position if the males are going to be viewing pornography.
If your husband has concerns about pictures being shared etc by your 14 yr old then he needs to have a serious conversation with him, don't just throw pornography at him

You think porn is how you learn what good sex is? Porn is violence packaged as sex

Yeah, I wonder how all those women in porn discovered that they enjoyed having things shoved into every orifice until they are bleeding and vomiting and are left with internal injuries. Think how liberated they must feel! If they never had discovered that, they could be stuck living the dull suburban life of having control of their own bowels instead of enjoying their anal prolapses.

Please do not use the phrase child porn. It is filmed child sexual abuse or images of child sexual abuse.

Well then you should be taking his phone away from him not giving him MORE access. Seriously I am really concerned for both of you as parents, you do not do that.

@isabellerossignol Right? Enviable profession. I once read an interview with a doctor who treated adult-film “stars”/ victims - it was heartbreaking.

Porn relies on very basic physical dopamine feedback loops: men watch sexual violence. Men cum. Men forge a psychological relationship with violence and sexual pleasure. It’s not rocket science - it’s also not really sex - but it’s so ubiquitous that people don’t question it anymore.

I think you both need to parent tbh.
No way would a 14 year old be sending messages that are sexual, he could be prosecuted if doing something illegal.
You both need to stop him, together.
As for your dh asking for porn, I'd be telling him if he mentions it again you'll contact social services.
Your child needs parenting.

There is plenty of porn on twitter or Tumblr, out there for free, easy to find if you want to find it. I don't think this is about your son.

Your husband is disgusting.

Grooming.

Grooming

This is how a school or social services would view it.

NO!

NO!!!

NO!!!!!

He's still a child - viewing pornography over-sexualises children. And even if he were an adult - does anyone really think it's alright for a parent to be watching something like that with their child? I mean - really?

When my sons were teenagers we had a discussion as I wanted to nip anything in the bud. They both looked at me as if I was mad and declared that porn was for 'sad acts who can't get a girlfriend' Neither to my knowledge have ever been interested.

Why are so many men so disgusting and deficient? If I was a heterosexual woman, I'd be celibate.

www.change.org/p/shut-down-pornhub-and-hold-its-executives-accountable-for-aiding-trafficking?recruiter=841223518&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf_combo_share_abi&recruited_by_id=7c8f5e10-dc7e-11e7-afa6-bb5a04fb9ffb&utm_content=mit-20210303-10%3Av1