DH wants to allow DS access to porn

[Wingingit76]

We have 3 teens in the house and currently have parental controls on the Wi-fi set to “light” (can go on social media but cannot access porn, violence, gambling etc). Their iPhones are also set to “limit adult websites” and they have a few other restrictions on them.

My DH now wants to allow them to be able to access porn, he said he can allow a certain website on the parental controls so they can access it. I’m not totally happy about this as I think they are too young to just have unrestricted access to a porn site. We have spoken to all of them about porn and they understand it isn’t a realistic view of a sexual relationship, how they need to understand consent, body images etc, etc.

I am fully aware they have seen stuff on their phones in their group chats and stuff but by allowing a website just makes me feel complicit in all of this.

Phew, got it off my chest now 😫😫

This is really weird. Your dh is not normal.
A teen seeking out porn in secret or coming across it is totally different to a parent say ‘here you go. Porn is fine and normal. Watch it to your hearts content’

Just no.

Does your husband watch porn?

You sound like a caring parent OP and it’s good you are questioning this because your husband is wrong. There’s a very good show called Nudes on BBC iplayer about the problems experienced by three teenagers involving explicit material being shared online. I think it would help your family to watch this show together and discuss openly porn use as a group. I think your husband’s probable misogynistic views of women has been passed onto your son’s if one is messaging young girls/women to ask what they are wearing. You and your husband need to make it clear this is not respectful or acceptable behaviour.

Do you want your son to learn about sex from porn?
I learned everything I know from watching porn in my teens. Did me a favour actually as at school we weren’t given any sex education.
I think Mumsnet has an outdated view of porn, you need to keep with the times OP. The vast majority of people who do watch porn won’t end up with ED by 20 otherwise as a PP said, everyone under 25 would have sexual function issues.

Seriously LTB. What sort of parent would dream of doing this? It’s grim af.

I would very much hope that this thread is a wind up !

There is a distinct drive at the moment of teenage girls having their boundaries stretched by their peers, this is fuelled by porn use.

If a 14 year old boy gets access to unrealistic versions of sexual experiences with no wider understanding of genuine sexual interaction their version of ‘normal’ is changed.

He’s too young, your husband is insane and this will lead to your boy asking girls on messenger for nudes etc...

Probably the saddest and most disturbing thing ive read On here for ages.

You speak to the the 14 year old about his inappropriate behaviour.

You really need to read up on the affects that free access to porn is having on young men OP, young girls being choked and a lot worse as boys are growing up watching this thinking its normal during sex.

I learned everything I know from watching porn in my teens. Did me a favour actually as at school we weren’t given any sex education.
I think Mumsnet has an outdated view of porn, you need to keep with the times OP. The vast majority of people who do watch porn won’t end up with ED by 20 otherwise as a PP said, everyone under 25 would have sexual function issues

Seriously? How sad for you OP.

Apologies that was to Gymrabbit not the OP

@koshkatt not sad at all. More like sexually liberating

The real question here is the H able to access porn while parental controls are in place? It is possible that it is him who wants access to the porn and is using teenager as a scapegoat IMO.

Wtf?! You don't need to let your kid watch porn, you need a solicitor - and possibly a call to social services.

Hi all,
Just to say that you won't hear from the OP again because she has deregged, however we had no reason to believe that she was a troll.
Keep safe, everyone.

The vast majority of people who do watch porn won’t end up with ED by 20 otherwise as a PP said, everyone under 25 would have sexual function issues.

Learning all you know about sex from porn IS a sexual function issue.

More like sexually liberating

I rather think that it was quite the opposite tbh.

Definitely not

It’s not like your DH wants to sit the kids down and actively encourage them to watch it, it’s just removing content locks. Really don’t see the big issue here ngl

BillieEilish

Technically it's not illegal for under 18s to watch porn but it is illegal for adults to allow it, give them access etc. So in effect it would be the parents, not the children, breaking the law.

I can't believe two posters have advocated turning off parental controls for 16 year olds

Learning all you know about sex from porn IS a sexual function issue
It’s really not. It was a source of education. It was liberating as a young woman to have access to it and be able to find out what I liked, what I wanted from a partner etc.

How old is your 3rd teenager? (the one you mentioned in your OP).

If younger, is this really a good example to be setting them?

It’s considered abuse for parents to enable or share porn with their (or any) children.

I can't believe two posters have advocated turning off parental controls for 16 year olds
If they can have sex legally, why not allow them to watch porn?

Ffs. Really?

Thanks again Emma I find that reassuring.