Thread Four: Holding on to the end of the rope

[Pegsinarow]

Hello PoTs!

I am so very sorry to have been absent from the second half of thread three. I've been a overwhelmed by rl: some good, some bad and some a bit ugly!
I hope you are all doing as well as possible in the circumstances.

I saw thread three was on 998 posts and thought I had better start up thread four here!

I'll catch up in a bit but for now the previous threads were as follows:

Thread one here

Thread two here

Thread three here

Welcome back and feel free to vent here! And I'll try to stick around a bit more ... .

@Lacrossefan1i was on the original thread my problems were not major but could have been if I hadn't kept on and on to keep her on right path. The lying was the worst cause you never knew if she was lying because she got so good at it.
It all came to ahead December 2019 she went out and rang me to collect her and she was coming walking on a dangerous road by herself and don't know if she had drink in her or taken a drug but I had to lock myself and 2 younger kids in my bedroom but she kicked and kicked the door to we opened it.
The week after she finished with her bf at the time and after that she was like a new person changed her entire friend group and never looked back the worst time was age 16 to 17.
She is 18 now we have the odd disagreement but nothing major.
Read back on the old threads plenty of advice on there.

Hi @Lacrossefan1 - I was also on the original threads. My DD is now 16 and yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel ☀️

Things are by no means perfect - she still struggles at times with anxiety and this affects many aspects of everyday life, including school attendance. However, she is definitely managing her anger far better nowadays 😊 It’s more like living with infrequent heavy showers as opposed to the monsoon season we were in for a couple of years!

I still struggle to detach emotionally and get overly anxious about her at times (not helpful) but I am working on it. Peri menopause and teenage hormones are a difficult combination!

So hang on in there 💐 It will get easier and, as @Andi2020 says, there’s lots of good advice and support on these threads. They definitely helped me through many difficult days and I am very thankful for the solidarity and support 😊

So relieved to have found this thread

I was on the other thread too under a different name. I remember the very first post and finding something that resonated so much at the time.

My daughter was 15 then. Gradually things started to slowly improve and when lockdown hit she was like a different child in a positive way. We spent a lot of time together, did nice things and chatted a lot. She was almost 'clingy'. She did well in school last year when she hadn't been reaching her potential. I remember thinking that it wouldn't last when life opened up again, but at least we'd have a better relationship to fall back on.

However, the last six months have been terrible again - rows all the time, contributes nothing to the house, demanding and bullying to us, bombing in school, often stays out all night, didn't even buy me a Christmas present as I'm a 'horrible person who doesn't deserve it'. She was also sacked from her part-time job for being defiant and having a bad attitude. She doesn't have a good relationship with extended family any more either.

I think she just doesn't cope well with life, hence the regression but it's exhausting and I just wonder if things will ever improve.

I feel for you all out there also suffering. It can be such a miserable age, no matter how hard you try as a parent.