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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How much Rent is fair to charge teenage son?

137 replies

Rentquery176 · 14/04/2018 13:44

Hi all
I am the proud owner of an 18 yr old ds. He has recently left school and got a job earning £14k pa (approx £1000 a month). He is living at home with his 13 yr old sister and me. I am a single parent working between 20 and 35 hrs a week and have lost a total of £339 pcm with him leaving school, including the loss of the single persons council tax benefit.

I have asked him to pay £40 per week in rent. He is objecting to paying this partly as his dad has helpfully told him how much maintenance he is paying, so feels he shouldn’t have to pay so much. He has said he will pay £30 a week but I am reluctant to accept this on principle, as much as anything.

Any opinions welcome. I have namechanged as I may show him this thread.

OP posts:
PotteryLady · 14/04/2018 13:46

I would say £50 per week - so you are being kind in my opinion.

firsttimemum889 · 14/04/2018 13:47

I find the idea of charging your child rent ridiculous! From a different culture though!

ny20005 · 14/04/2018 13:51

£40 rent by including all bills & food

Point out to him if he can find cheaper, he's welcome to move out 😜

mostdays · 14/04/2018 13:51

first come on, it doesn't sound like op can afford not to. If her ds earns 14k, he'll be taking home around £240 a week after tax, NI and pension. £40 a week is not a lot and if it also covers bills and food is an amazingly cheap deal for him.

lou1221 · 14/04/2018 13:51

I think £40 a week is fair, if it includes food, bills, washing etc. I was charged rent when I was 18, I think back then, early 90's it was £25 pw.

iggleypiggly · 14/04/2018 13:52

£40 a week is fair. Get him to find the same for cheaper elsewhere!

RaininSummer · 14/04/2018 13:52

Fifty sounds fair cheap even. I gave my mum a quarter of my earnings when I started work.

Okaassan · 14/04/2018 13:53

I was charged £50pw and that was a little while back. I think it is great that you are doing so. Ignore any comments of "charge him and keep it in a savings account" in a dream world that would be perfect but this is the real world and bills need paying. He is an adult who is earning and should be contributing.

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 14/04/2018 13:54

I agree with mostdays

Crazyladee · 14/04/2018 13:55

I have a 22yr old.

He earns about £17k a year although sometimes ends up working overtime so will come out with a bit more.

He pays us £250 per month.

expatinscotland · 14/04/2018 13:56

He's dictating to you how much you should charge him to live in your house with all bills paid? Haaahaa! £40 is too little. Tell him £50/week or he finds another place to live. He's being an entitled little so-and-so.

lozzalou93 · 14/04/2018 13:58

I started paying rent as soon as I got a job at 15..! Mind you it was only £10 a week back then and I did everything for myself, washing,cooking, ironing etc. My rent then went up to £200 a month as I got a job that wasn’t just weekends. I think the issue is when children have been spoilt, turn into adults and suddenly start paying. To them it’s a major shock and seems ‘unfair’. You are being more than reasonabe. He will have lots of money left over so I would stick to your £40 or if he complains, say £50 it is!

DairyisClosed · 14/04/2018 13:58

None he is your child. He's not supposed to bring you money, quite the opposite. It's no wonder elderly people are being abandoned in nursing homes in droves when people their children like source of income. Welfare has really screwed up our society.

Staying · 14/04/2018 13:59

He has no idea about living costs so it's a number coming off his salary to him. He doesn't get it.

So yeah, let him know you'll price match if he finds cheaper, including bills ;)

NoHunsHereHun · 14/04/2018 14:03

When started working full time at 21 I used to pay my mum around £100 per month (it was the nineties). I think it's good to have him contribute and understand that things dont come for free, but if you don't actually need the money why not save it in an account for him so that when he comes to move out and needs a rental deposit or mortgage you can give it to him. I wouldn't tell him about this arrangement though or you'll likely find it's dipped into as his "emergency" fund!

mummmy2017 · 14/04/2018 14:03

List all your bills...
Then tell him he can pay 50 or a third....
But make sure you also show him it's 300 for a room on someone's house with no mum service

expatinscotland · 14/04/2018 14:05

'None he is your child. He's not supposed to bring you money, quite the opposite. It's no wonder elderly people are being abandoned in nursing homes in droves when people their children like source of income. Welfare has really screwed up our society.'

So people should be able to loaf with their parents their entire lives, gratis, no matter how much they earn, or their parents and the government are at fault? Hmm

donajimena · 14/04/2018 14:06

dairy he's an adult. OP has had her income cut and let's face it if you receive tax credits you are hardly well off. I've a teenage son. I rent a 3 bed property. When he works he'll have to contribute or I'll be moving to a 2 bed property. He won't have a bedroom but he'll be welcome to the sofa bed.

CheeseandGherkins · 14/04/2018 14:07

His dad won't be paying maintenance for him anymore presumably, so that shouldn't come into it. I would say £50 a week is cheap but it depends what you can afford. It an ideal world, I wouldn't ask my children for money (or I would save it to give to them when they're older), but that isn't always an option. Certainly wouldn't be for us at the moment.

I would be expecting him to contribute to the house in other ways (if he doesn't already), such as cooking, cleaning, washing etc.

Those saying she shouldn't ask for anything, clearly have the options available to them to not require anything from their working age, adult children. They should try putting themselves in other people's shoes for a change. Money doesn't come from nowhere and the op has said she's losing a lot from him leaving full time education.

He is an adult and should absolutely contribute to his own costs of living, why shouldn't he when he's earning a full time wage?

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 14/04/2018 14:08

it is all very well saying 'i dont beleive in charging children rent, from a different culture, blah blah'.

If Child tax credit and CB has stopped, and the parent's income has not increased, yet the adult child is earning good money, why should he pay nothing?
Ridiculous, i mean it's not like she is asking for much is it?

PlausibleSuit · 14/04/2018 14:08

Assuming you're not still cooking and washing for him I'd say £50 too. He's done well to get a job paying 14k a year straight out of the gate, good on him.

If it were me - and bear in mind I was brought up by flinty, the-world-is-a-hard-place parents who charged me market rent minus a bit as soon as I turned 18 - I'd charge him what he costs you. It'll still be better than what he'd pay if he was renting somewhere or living in a house-share.

He's got unrealistic views on costs of living if he's bringing in over £1,100 a month after tax and doesn't want to give you £160 of it.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 14/04/2018 14:10

when my children turned 16, Child Tax credits stopped, CB stopped, the ex was no longer expected to contribute..(not that he had anyway, very much).
Yet i was left with paying rent, council tax , bills, and providing food.
They had to leave. It was tragic.

PlausibleSuit · 14/04/2018 14:10

Sorry, just under £1,100 a month, not over.

Dandybelle · 14/04/2018 14:10

When I lived at home at the same age my mum charged me 25% of my earnings. Usually rounded off at about £250pcm.

findingmyfeet12 · 14/04/2018 14:15

My parents didn't charge me anything and I lived with them for years. They could afford it though and I saved my money to buy a house.

My younger siblings have abused that position and have grown up to be feckless adults with no sense of responsibility. I think it's a great idea to charge rent op even if you can afford not to. £50 per week is reasonable.