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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

How much Rent is fair to charge teenage son?

137 replies

Rentquery176 · 14/04/2018 13:44

Hi all
I am the proud owner of an 18 yr old ds. He has recently left school and got a job earning £14k pa (approx £1000 a month). He is living at home with his 13 yr old sister and me. I am a single parent working between 20 and 35 hrs a week and have lost a total of £339 pcm with him leaving school, including the loss of the single persons council tax benefit.

I have asked him to pay £40 per week in rent. He is objecting to paying this partly as his dad has helpfully told him how much maintenance he is paying, so feels he shouldn’t have to pay so much. He has said he will pay £30 a week but I am reluctant to accept this on principle, as much as anything.

Any opinions welcome. I have namechanged as I may show him this thread.

OP posts:

Boxingdaydisappoints · 14/04/2018 21:35

Do you see him as a source of income? Did you choose him to live with you when you split with his father so you would benefit from the increased payments you would receive from the government or because you wanted your DS with you?
You don't mention how much maintenance you receive from his father - has this continued even though he's over 18? As you have children who don't need you at home, why aren't you working full time?

aproblemsharedandallthat · 14/04/2018 21:44

Boxing

Think you should get back in your box! How rude!

OP I paid £50 a week for board, bills and food when I was 16. I had a job that didn't pay as much as your DS's job does. That was 17 years ago. Taught me how to budget and the value of money. I'd say your offer was fair and he needs to know that what he is actually being asked to pay doesn't cover even half of what it costs you per month.

Good luck

snewname · 14/04/2018 21:51

I'm all for charging and saving it for them IF you can afford it. In your case you are effectively losing money so the starting point is £339 that he should pay. If you can afford less than this then fair enough - but £339 is the starting point. That still leaves a huge chunk for him.

Harvestmoonsobright · 14/04/2018 21:54

Boxing : toxic

Boxingdaydisappoints · 14/04/2018 22:00

What was rude? I was asking valid questions??

Scabetty · 14/04/2018 22:07

Of course he should pay towards his keep now he’s earning. I think £40 is reasonable. I paid a fifth of my net pay when I started work at 18 yo.

Scabetty · 14/04/2018 22:09

Boxing, OP has less income so your suggestion is for her to work more hours and her ds to pay nothing?

Boxingdaydisappoints · 14/04/2018 22:36

No I'm suggesting she doesn't use her son as a source of income and if she is short of money then she could work more.

I'm sorry my point of view is different to most on here, but the OP asked for opinions, we don't all have to agree.

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 14/04/2018 22:39

I would say half but with putting half of it away in an isa ready for when he leaves home , i think £40 a week is really low why would he need more than £500 a month

happymummy12345 · 14/04/2018 22:44

I couldn't charge a child rent to live at home. Myself and my husband moved in with my dad when I was pregnant for various reasons. He didn't take a penny from us. He went out his way for the 3 of us in fact.
Your child is your child regardless of age. Surely you'd always help them out if you can?

emss55 · 14/04/2018 22:46

Hi you are completely justified in asking for some rent money from your ds. In doing this you are teaching him the value of money so that when he leaves home for good he will be able to budget and realise how reasonable the accomodation/food/laundering services you provided were. For those on here who choose to not take rent then of course that is your choice but do not judge others harshly for doing so as you know mothing of their circumstances. In my honest opinion though the rent free brigade are not doing their little darlings any favours you have to prepare them for the real life and to have hundreds of pounds disposable income each month is not realistic.

BrashCandicoot · 14/04/2018 22:46

25% would be fair I think. He’d still have £180 a week to save/spend. Your council tax increase combined with the loss of the CB and CTC has to be made up from somewhere - the adult who should be paying their own way.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 14/04/2018 22:54

I ask my adult child for 15% of his net income. The advantage is that the principle is easily extended to siblings when the time comes and everyone has their pride intact. I think it's good for them to feel that they are paying their way, even if they'll basically get the whole lot back when they need financial help further down the line.

donajimena · 14/04/2018 22:59

happy op is skint her son has a fulltime wage. Its her who needs helping out!

travailtotravel · 14/04/2018 23:00

I suggest showing him all the bills, divided by a third. Include everything - food, cleaning stuff, insurances, rent , council tax the whole shebang he probably hasn't thought about ( tv, wifi). Then ask him why paying a sum that won't even cover his food is fair now he earns and you have less household income. This is a real world conversation. I'd personally make him look at rents etc locally etc so he can see that he can't afford to move but also that he needs to save so he can.

Cheeky bringing maintenance into it. That's for his sister as presumably now he us working you will also get less of that.. And it's not up to him to dictate where and how you spend your money anymore than it's yours to dictate his.

LadyB49 · 14/04/2018 23:22

I just don't understand folk who say that adult children who are earning should not make an effort to pay their way while living at home. How would the adult children learn lifeskills, to manage their income. Mind you it would still be pretty easy to manage if only paying 30 or 40 per week for everying.

If my daughter had a boyfriend who lived at home and didn't feel the need to pay something for living expenses I'd have doubts about his character.

As a teen my mother 'took' half of my net wages. From the remainder I bought all that I needed, clothing, shampoo etc. I also had to pay commuting costs of one hour train and two busses....each way, daily. Needless to say I wasn't happy about this, it didn't leave much over for socialising, usually nothing. The point being, I had no choice - other than to get my own place and that wasn't possible.
However, it did teach me to be aware of money, and it's worth. To be able to always pay my bills before considering anything else.

To not take from adult children, in particular a teen with no other responsibilities, seems to me to be very much lacking in any attempt to continue their education in life.

polkadotpixie · 14/04/2018 23:23

My Mum always charged me 25% of whatever I earned which I think was fair and I'll do the same with my children if they live at home once they start working

I'd charge him £250/month, that's still a bargain, there's no way he'd find somewhere to live including bills for that price if he moved out

deadringer · 14/04/2018 23:31

I think you are being kind to accept 40. It is not using your son for income for goodness sake, it is him contributing in a small way towards his own costs. Why should he get to spend all the money he earns on whatever he fancies while the op houses him and feeds him and pays all the bills. Ludicrous!

upsideup · 14/04/2018 23:40

Would it not be better for him to save more of his money so he is able to move out sooner?

Winchester13 · 14/04/2018 23:46

My dad called it board and I gave him £30 a week from when I was 18. I think it is fair

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 15/04/2018 07:44

" I couldn't charge a child rent to live at home."

i am sure that you could if you were paying rent council tax bills and food on your own.
HOnestly some people just sound so smug and thoughtless.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 15/04/2018 08:21

Paying your way should be a matter of pride and good manners and it's a good idea to form those habits early on.

I'd also expect a contribution to housework.

Lots of young adults have to live at home now, and I fear we'll have an infantalised generation who have no idea how to manage their money or develop healthy relationships if we are too indulgent.

Pixel99 · 15/04/2018 08:33

OP I am with the majority that it is ok and that you should charge your DS rent. If you were in the position to save it for him great. If not then don't feel bad. I would also sit your DS to show him the costs of running a household and also the costs of renting a room elsewhere pointing out what additional costs he may face ie food. I might also insist that DS saves some if his salary for a car / deposit when he does move etc. You are teaching him valuable life skills and the value of money.
BOXING - the tone of your email (whether intended or not) is incredibly rude. The OP already works 20- 35 hours a week. More maybe out of her control. She is working and raising a DD on her own. You need to read it back objectively.
I work 37.5 hours a week whilst raising two DC's on my own. Do I need to work more hours when they start working to make up the difference of what I will lose out on?

fruitcider · 15/04/2018 08:41

Rent or board?

Board I would take 1/3 of his monthly income and put 1/3 of what he gives you in a savings account for him when he moves out.

fruitcider · 15/04/2018 08:42

Rent or board?

Board I would take 1/3 of his monthly income and put 1/3 of what he gives you in a savings account for him when he moves out.

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