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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How much Rent is fair to charge teenage son?

137 replies

Rentquery176 · 14/04/2018 13:44

Hi all
I am the proud owner of an 18 yr old ds. He has recently left school and got a job earning £14k pa (approx £1000 a month). He is living at home with his 13 yr old sister and me. I am a single parent working between 20 and 35 hrs a week and have lost a total of £339 pcm with him leaving school, including the loss of the single persons council tax benefit.

I have asked him to pay £40 per week in rent. He is objecting to paying this partly as his dad has helpfully told him how much maintenance he is paying, so feels he shouldn’t have to pay so much. He has said he will pay £30 a week but I am reluctant to accept this on principle, as much as anything.

Any opinions welcome. I have namechanged as I may show him this thread.

OP posts:
Fluffybat · 14/04/2018 14:15

I paid £200 a month to my parents as did my brothers. No complaints from ant of us.

Rapunzel15 · 14/04/2018 14:21

Given that hes trying to be a smart arse and tell you what he'll pay i would sit him down with all of your paper work and show him what you have lost as a result of him leaving education i.e. tax credits, maintenance, child benefit, single person discount on CT and thats the figure he will be giving you every month or he can move out. It really is time to teach adults a little about the real world. It may seem harsh but in the real world i dont get to tell my landlord how much rent im going to pay

Akire · 14/04/2018 14:25

Well he need to pay 25% of th council tax for a start then his share of all bills. How much is your weekly food bill? If you get a reduction in housing benefit he will have to pay that was well.

If you have rely on top up benefits you are not going to suddenly be able to pay for an adult who is earning a decent wage. If he’s got £250 week in pocket what’s he planning on doing with the £220? The extra £20 will make the difference to your budget and still have enough to do what we he likes.

If he not budging on £30 then I’d get him buy all his own food on top. He could be living at home for years and years and be earning more at more if you set the bar this low there will be no getting out of it.

Harvestmoonsobright · 14/04/2018 14:36

Would like to raise that there is a father.

Come on MN. By ignoring him, because of his history of minimal involvement, we continue to promote the culture where the mum is required to solely manage the problem.

However, completely agree that adult children contributing to the household, whether financially or practically or both, should be the norm. Surely we value a community of participants value give and take.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 14/04/2018 14:40

i honestly think that those people who say 'this is so bad, we dont do this in MY culture' - maybe in your culture, people own their own houses outright? dont have greedy landlords running their lives,? or maybe you can have a job and pay the rent ? as in , the sums add up.
Just a suggestion.

Squeegle · 14/04/2018 14:42

I will need my DCs to start contributing when they start earning; I think that is perfectly reasonable; you are seeking only to support him and you need some help. If he takes home £1000 a month he should be contributing to bills and council tax - £50 sounds good to me.

ForTheLoveOfSleep · 14/04/2018 14:51

I paid £250 a month from the time I started working at 17 until I moved out at 19.
For the first year I was on an apprenticeship wage of £400 a month for 38 hrs per week.

counterpoint · 14/04/2018 14:56

Agree with those who say it's wrong to charge your child.

Teach him to save for his future family.

We've left the next generation with very little.

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 14/04/2018 15:01

£30/£40 is a flipping steal. Are there any bills that only be benefits from - say Sky Sports, Netflix, gym membership, XBox Live? I'd be getting him to pay those.

Does the £40 include food? I'd personally take £30 if he bought his own food. I have a 17 yo so know how much food they eat.

Crazyladee · 14/04/2018 15:03

I can't understand these people saying it's wrong to charge their working adult kids rent.

We are lucky enough that we can afford to not charge him a penny. But I have always said I want to bring my kids up to respect and appreciate what they have and to learn the value of money.

As I said above, he pays us £250 per month and seeing as he takes home approx £1300 per month, we are hardly taking every last penny off him. Instead, it's seen as a life lesson in the fact that he is earning and therefore contributing to the cost of running a family home. And he seems proud of that. It would probably work out even if I was to tot up what he costs us in the two lengthy showers a day, food and not to mention our power bill for his endless electrical items either playing or charging up in his room.

When he does finally fly the nest, it won't be a complete shock to him to have rent or a mortgage to pay.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 14/04/2018 15:04

" Agree with those who say it's wrong to charge your child.

Teach him to save for his future family.

We've left the next generation with very little."

it must be lovely to be rich / propertied enough to have such high minded principles.

findingmyfeet12 · 14/04/2018 15:04

Charging rent from as early as possible is a great way to teach responsibility for saving and budgeting.

jaimelannistersgoldenhand · 14/04/2018 15:06

Is your son aware of how much bills like council tax, electricity etc cost? I think that if you showed him the numbers and divided by the number of people in your household then he'd be shocked. Tell him to research how much a local room share is. £160pm (£200 in 5 week months) isn't going to get him anywhere.

Petalflowers · 14/04/2018 15:06

Why don’t you look on sparerooms.co.uk to see how much it would cost to rent a room in your area.

Alternatively compromise. Ie. £30 for three months, and then increase it.

Does he know much you are loosing now he is 18? Maybe explain to him.

My 18 will be leaving home soon. We’re helping him with rent, but he will have to buy food etc out of his wage.

SingleTakenOliviaBenson · 14/04/2018 15:07

I moved back in with my parents when I was 19, was earning about £1100 pcm and have my parents £250 pcm. At my insistence, don't think they were too bothered but I wanted to pay my way and when your DS moves out he'll be paying rent. I saved about £400/month, £150 on car, £30 on mobile, so was still left with about £300 to "play with", which was more than my friends who'd gone to uni.
I personally think £200pcm is a good figure, after all you're paying for bills, food etc still and worse off than when he was at school..

user1467232073 · 14/04/2018 15:08

I would compromise and charge £35.00. HAve you gently outlined all of your out going bills per month including food?

catinapoolofsunshine · 14/04/2018 15:12

We've already told our kids that if they choose to leave education and work instead they're welcome to stay living with us but will have to pay 1/5 of the rent (5 people living in the house). Admittedly this is partly to dissuade them from leaving school (we live in a country where this is an option at 14 years 10 months for young for the year kids as long as they've completed 9 years of schooling, although 13 years of full time school take you to a level equivalent and leaving after 9 years is limiting!). All our kids see this as fair (eldest is nearly 13).

I wouldn't expect an offspring (adult-child ...) of mine to pay rent from a Saturday job whilst in education, but if they leave education it's welcome to the real world, and that includes rent.

Perfectly1mperfect · 14/04/2018 15:13

For me it would depend on two things.

How much money do you need to continue to run the house ? Just because you have lost an amount doesn't mean you were using it all. Equally if you can't pay your bills now because of what you have lost then you will need him to make up the difference.

The second thing would be how he spends his money. If he spends it all on going out, alcohol etc I would charge him more than if he was spending some and saving some. When he became more responsible I would maybe give him back the extra I charged to help with a big purchase like a car, house etc.

I don't think £40 per week is too much at all but equally if you don't need it and he will save then I would take the least amount possible. He will soon realise that he couldn't live anywhere else for £40 per week ! More importantly, if he doesn't already, I think it's important that he puts a load of washing on, irons sometimes and maybe cooks for you all once each week as at some point he will move out and this will prepare him for it. And maybe he will appreciate you a bit more as well. Good luck !

catinapoolofsunshine · 14/04/2018 15:14

Strangely 1/5 of our basic rent (no bills or taxes) would be €40 per week...

Harvestmoonsobright · 14/04/2018 15:15

Isn't there also a pride in making a contribution - the capacity to share?

chocatoo · 14/04/2018 15:16

£40 is more than fair. Will he by paying for his own phone rental from now on?

mummmy2017 · 14/04/2018 15:23

Last summer when my daughter came home from uni I lost £75 a week from housing benefit due to her wage....you have to declare they are living and earning as he becomes a none dependant adult living non the house....Hope you can afford to top up the rent

spicerack · 14/04/2018 15:24

I had to pay1/3 of my wages as rent, 1/3 into savings and the other 1/3 disposable income

StellaHeyStella · 14/04/2018 15:34

How much of the £339 was bills/food and how much was other ds expenses like clothing, transport leisure activities etc?
Assuming ds will be covering 'other' expenses now he has a job and his board payment will cover just his share of bills and his food then this is how I'd base my calculations on what is a fair rent in your situation op.
Having said that your ds sounds rather entitled to presume he can negotiate on his rent and on the face of it your £40 sounds perfectly reasonable and a very good deal for him.
Other options for him of course would be to move in with his df or to try and rent a place of his own on 14k.

Tid1 · 14/04/2018 15:43

On principle he should be contributing and OP you are being a good mother by teaching him about paying bills/ paying his way in life. He will still have loads of disposable income left at the end of the month so he shouldn't really be complaining!