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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

On the verge of kicking her out eldest DD16

631 replies

Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 09:30

She hits her siblings and really hurts them aged 12 and 6. My son when he was interviewed by the court over custody thing drew my eldest dd in the sad house.

I kind of feel these incidents are happening more frequently with exam pressure. I'm on my own with 4 of them. In a three Bed house. It's pretty much like living in a pressure cooker

OP posts:
AugustaFinkNottle · 22/06/2016 13:15

What does your message say?

SuburbanRhonda · 22/06/2016 13:16

What are you expecting her head of year to do, OP?

You said she is a model pupil at school - a high achiever and a pleasure to teach.

houseeveryweekend · 22/06/2016 13:16

I agree that if you cant manage her and shes hurting your other kids then you should get her to leave but you cant just chuck her out on the streets. Find somewhere for her to go or ring SS so that they can find somehwere for her to go. Dont be frightened of SS.

Greenyogagirl · 22/06/2016 13:16

What's the school going to do?

Just5minswithDacre · 22/06/2016 13:16

OP do you understand what 'scapegoat' means in terms of psychology/family dynamics? It's a very specific thing. Please google it.

It is not your DD that is 'bad', it is the whole family.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 13:17

And that's fine they can contact who ever they need to but I'm done seriously. I've made sacrifice after sacrifice if it's not good enough they can all just fuck off I'm done

OP posts:
Just5minswithDacre · 22/06/2016 13:18

You will not solve your problem by disposing of your daughter; you will ruin her life and mar your own.

happygoluckylady · 22/06/2016 13:18

The whole thing is chaotic. How are the rest of your children coping with this? Your recent posts talked of having another baby. How can you even consider adding another child to this situation?

Greenyogagirl · 22/06/2016 13:19

All of your children can F off?
You don't want responsibility so are trying to get the school to deal with it.
I know you're at breaking point but I think you need help, you need to go to gp and maybe counselling etc

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 13:19

I'm pregnant happy, brilliant isn't it

OP posts:
GigiB · 22/06/2016 13:19

odfod
Its seems like the answers to your questions are.
Op why are you not phoning ss? You have nothing to loose, right? because she knows she is partly responsible for the behaviour

Why are you not speaking to your gp, school, etc. because she doesn't care enough? she 'doesn't want her'

Have you phoned the gp to make an appointment for your injured dd? no

You don't seem to want to engage in getting outside help, why is this? see 1 & 2 above

Its not normal to not want or love your own child. The child will know. The child behaves badly. This really isn't rocket science...

Hodooooooooor · 22/06/2016 13:19

She's not important to me tbh, I want her to just tuck off and never see her again that is the honest truth

No wonder she's turned out the way she has, growing up with a mother and stepfather who hate her and have no time for her.
Kick her out, sounds like she'd be better off without you.

paxillin · 22/06/2016 13:20

I know you are venting on here, OP. You do come across as extremely aggressive and not open to suggestions, attacking posters quickly. I just hope this isn't the atmosphere you are creating in RL, too.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 13:20

Totally agree Hod

OP posts:
houseeveryweekend · 22/06/2016 13:21

My parents told me to leave at 16 and actually it really helped me. If your daughter is doing well at school and its her home life thats the problem perhaps living by herself and having to take care of herself in her own space will help her. But please try and be supportive of her by contacting people who can help her get a place to live. Hopefully her school will contact SS.

Handsoffmysweets · 22/06/2016 13:21

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

BungoWomble · 22/06/2016 13:21

Let's put it this way. This is a very toxic family situation. It is dangerous, and escalating fast.

You say you want to protect your youngest children op. So do something. Pick up the phone and call either social services or the police. You (all) cannot carry on like this.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 13:21

Pax I'm fucking fuming about the whole thing still

OP posts:
Greenyogagirl · 22/06/2016 13:21

You're bringing a 5th child into a too small single family house despite claiming to be able to afford a flat for daughter or boarding school.
What on earth made you think adding a baby to this mix would help?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 13:22

I'm getting an abortion I agree bad move

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 22/06/2016 13:22

You do realise her HoY may not be free to phone you until later on today - maybe even this evening if he or she has a meeting after school or has to rush off for her own reasons?

You need a plan for what you're going to do when your daughter gets home in two hours.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 22/06/2016 13:23

A baby?! I've heard it all! I wish I could call SS myself! And it wouldn't be because the Daughter is out of control that's for sure.

GigiB · 22/06/2016 13:23

OP I'm now hoping you are a troll for sake of all 'your' family.

Letmehaveausername · 22/06/2016 13:23

Kinda wondering the same thing as Green

AugustaFinkNottle · 22/06/2016 13:23

If you're happy for the school to phone SS, why don't you? It would give them more time to sort something out.