On the verge of kicking her out eldest DD16

[Pisssssedofff]

She hits her siblings and really hurts them aged 12 and 6. My son when he was interviewed by the court over custody thing drew my eldest dd in the sad house.

I kind of feel these incidents are happening more frequently with exam pressure. I'm on my own with 4 of them. In a three Bed house. It's pretty much like living in a pressure cooker

And on the end of the phone is very different Lets from under your roof. Thing is she's actually very mature, sooner she's at uni doing her thing the better

And maybe you ought to make some friends who are less self-pitying about being parents.

Children don't deserve to be saddled with parents who see raising them as an unpleasant chore.

And there must have been a time when you LOVED parenting and thought you were good at it, otherwise you wouldn't have had four children.

Absolutely nothing wrong with renting a one bedroom flat and booting her out into it. It would teach her a salutary lesson and may well be the best thing for her development.

Ignore all those idiotic 'you are the adult, she is the child' posters. 16 year olds are fully liable in law and, not many years ago, could enter the workplace just like adults.

I know someone who was booted out at 16 and it really was the best thing for him. He unilaterally turned around, worked, put himself through uni and is currently a successful adult.

You and your other children are deserving of sympathy, here.

Do you I'd leave her on her own whilst they were at their dads she's sensible enough, the house will look like I've been burgled but that's normal teen stuff. The conclusion I've come to today is I need to reduce the triggers, I need to move to a five bed house, I've booted ex up the Arse yesterday to get the divorce stuff finalised so that can happen. Madam needs to take herself off to school so she's not in the car with the little ones, she needs to sort her uniform etc the night before so she's not stressed, I'll get get a tutor for the subjects she's dressing about to help her. Then honestly I feel I can do no more.

Are you getting the 12 year old medically checked, OP?

Absolutely nothing wrong with renting a one bedroom flat and booting her out into it

Apart from it being a complete abdication of parental responsibilty and more than a little cunty?
16 is a child. Legally, even if you don't care about anything else. And good luck finding a landlord who will rent a flat for a lone child.

No the house/country move hasn't helped of course it hasn't and again this is what pissed me off with social services last time. We literally left with nothing, imagine your house burnt down and you had no insurance, that level of nothing but they refused to acknowledge that that might have upset my girls landing in the uk with nothing but a spare pair of knickers, it devastated them. And was directly caused by ex

Things are getting better and at least nine of them are in trouble with boyfriends or any of that but I wish they would just help me to help them you know ?

None not nine, fuck me 9 ? I would cry

12 year old has been checked yes.

Hod,

There is more than one way to parent. A flat is not on the street. And the OP has parenting responsibility to her other children, too. Physically safety is the primary parenting responsibility.

It's all very hard these days, you know they want independence, you want the best for them. If you think about even 20 years ago friends were moving out and working at 16. And they were the ones that all bought houses in 1996 and are bloody laughing now.

'we all genuinely acknowledge we are shit at it, it wasn't what we signed up for and we can't wait for it to be over'

That's heart breaking, I absolutely love being a mum and I think you should of realised after the first one it wasn't what you 'signed up for'

I have my doubts about this thread. How did you get the 12 yr old checked when you've been posting here?

Anyway leaving that aside - parents just don't get to back away from their responsibilities. It's not an option. Lots of parents need help and support, that's fine. But you can't just stop being a parent and talking about children as the op has would do immense damage to kids. I really, really hope this is made up.

Teenagers want independence. Its basically the point of being a teenager. But they also need boundaries and they still need to be parented. They might not like it, but thats what they need.

I knew a woman like you OP. Being a parent was something she hated me for making her. The world owes her something and expects too much in return. Her kids should grovel and be grateful that she even bothered to house them, and anything above the bare minimum is worthy of endless praise and thanks. No one knows her suffering but she knows and dismisses everyone else's suffering. There are endless excuses for her and none for anyone else.

She will be a very lonely woman in her old age. She wished away our childhood and now she has a daughter who never speaks to her and a son that she has infantilised so much he still lives at home at nearly 30 despite despising her. The life she saw beyond our childhoods never materialised.

While you look at the world like its your enemy you will never find anything but misery. You owe it to your kids and to yourself to get down off your high horse and deal with the choices you have made.

And yet it's been an option for my ex husband and the sperm donor. What you mean is mums don't.
Bad day, tomorrow's a new one.

Liz surely this not your mother you speak of, you're not projecting are you? I can't believe it !!!!!

"what would you do to stop the violence immediately? "

Police, each and every time. That's what we did. Social services then got involved. DD was then referred for counselling. We also had (because we requested it) help from the NSPCC.

There is help out there, though it's not always easy to access.

And for every 16 year old who leaves home and thrives there's one like my sister who appeared very self-sufficient (working full-time) but went on to become an alcoholic because of her crippling anxiety and loneliness.

A sixteen year old is a child - emotionally and legally. The OP's dd needs to be parented.

Ffs bugger off then, just walk away and when you're old and lonely and filled with hate and anger remember how good you have it with no kids.

"How did you get the 12 yr old checked when you've been posting here? "

Quite