Teens affecting your mental health?

[KikiTheFrog]

So I am a worrier. Always have been but events this past year with dd16 have worn me down and I basically feel like shit a lot of the time, depending on the current state of play with dd. Nothing drastic or too bad has happened luckily, but Ive had days off work becsuse ive been too upset to go in, lost weight through not eating and sleep badly. All through dealing with her and sorting out her problems when necessary.
I suppose its not fair to blame her for how I'm feeling because its the way i react thats the problem, but if she didn't do, or not do, all those things or say all that stuff then I wouldn't be upset and anticipating the next disappointment. Yes I'm probably a bit depressed and have actually referred myself for therapy but am I the only one like this?

Dd was still awake till gone 3 last night! Bloody ridiculous!
Do you find you are biting your tongue and holding back how you feel and think just to keep the peace. I do it all the time. I know dd does not tell the And and it would be so easy for me to catch her out. For example about where she says she is.
She tells me she is sleeping at friends houses at the weekend and I suspect she sometimes stays at her bf's house or that she is at a party all night somewhere. I could easily ring said friends parents up to check but I don't. Is that wrong? She says I don't trust her and I don't want to be sneaking around behind her back which will inevitably end up with us falling out again.
too wrapped up in what she's doing and its doing me no good.
Getting this all out is doing me the world of good btw.

Oops. That should say " I know dd does not tell the truth". I'll get the hang of this posting soon

Myhair, you say your Dd is too old to have her phone taken off her. How old is she? I take DD's phone off her. Nothing to do with her age. She wakes me up. My house my rules. I am horrid though I admit. But I tell her to come off the phone at midnight, or be so quiet I can't hear her, and she still thinks it's OK to have a conversation on loud speaker. So after a warning, I just go into her room, snatch the phone and lock my bedroom door on the way back in with it.

I really, really need my sleep, and woe betide anyone inconsiderate enough to prevent me getting my beauty sleep.

She's almost 17. I used to take her phone off her when she was at school but after GCSEs I said she could have it. Tbf she isn't noisy and doesn't wake me up but I can't sleep if I know she's still up. If I get up to go to the bathroom I can see her light on and I know she's up. I'm just stupid. I should just go to sleep.

Mine is the same age, but doing GCSEs this year. Does she get up OK for college or sixth form? Do you feel able to turn off the WiFi? Bloody kids!

There is no point turning the WiFi off as she's got 4g on her phone so doesn't need it. She also bought the phone herself. Last year even though she didn't have the phone overnight she was still up till all hours plucking her bloody eyebrows or messing around. Just does not like going to bed!
She has several late starts for college, so doesn't have to get up early every day but its always last minute and she is never on time. She's always been late for everything. She just doesn't think it matters.
I'm just trying to get through this next year or so without living in a war zone until she either sorts herself out or moves out.

Yes lots of people mention turning off the WiFi but what about 4g? If there was a secret sneaky way of turning it off id do it! She also has a really good contract with unlimited everything so I don't want to cancel it.
When dd finished GCSEs I told her she had to take responsibility and could have her phone. It doesn't work though. She has always been a night owl and is as bad as she's ever been, if not worse.

I empathise too as my mood swings go up and down with my teenagers'. However everything has been said over the last 8 pages but I had to reply as we knew each other in a former life! (See username)

I must be quite lucky that mine has a contract with data that she uses up in 3 days so she has to rely on WiFi for the rest of the month. Hence I can turn it off!

Ha ha yes Zaza everything has been said by me as well but I can't let it go and keep repeating the same old things. That's part of the problem, I can't detach. I alternate between trying to leave her alone to mess things up if she wants, and interfering which just ends up badly. When will I learn

I noticed my daughter's phone screen saver today. : the less you care, the happier you will be. Maybe I should try it.