Anyone want a mum of teenagers support thread

[Ledkr]

Thought we could swap ideas, sound off and generally help each other through it.
Lots of you will know from here I'm no shrinking violet but my nearly 14 yr old dd is slowly breaking my spirit, home has become a miserable place to be and I know I'm messing this up.
I've had 3 teen boys and have worked all my life with various types of challenging young person and I'm pretty well respected but my own child is draining the life out of me.
The thing is, it's not huge behavioural stuff, it's probably very normal. I need to learn to pick my battles I know but I simply cannot ignore blatant rudeness or pick up someone's knickers often still containing a sanitary towell and not react.
Is this the answer? Compromise my integrity and become a skivvy just for a quiet life?
I could go on, but I'll see if anyone wants to listen first.
Thanks if you read so far

Still waiting. Doesn't sound good

I suspect dd is still in bed. Can't get in touch with her. Lazy sod can't even be bothered to get up and collect results. And so we begin again!

Just read your post on the other thread, but will reply on here. That does sound typical - very late night, sleeping in till late pm, you can't get in touch coz 'my phone died' and so on and so forth. That's why I was anxious when DD was adamant she was off out last night.

I feel for you Moët, I really do. It's all so familiar. I wonder if your DD is on some level avoiding collecting the results coz she thinks she hasn't done well. Try not to get too upset. It's a bad day, but there'll be better ones and the results will have to be collected at some point. I bet she goes in later - she'd be an unusual kid if she really didn't want to know.

Peebles - great news that she got in, well done her, and happy for you. Positive news!
Moet - we will await your news!

As for mine, DD got her place at chosen uni, I should be over the moon for her, but am still smarting from her verbal attack on me yesterday, and I'm gutted for DS, who failed miserably at AS. Need to sort him out now, bless him, he worked bloody hard too.
"Onwards and upwards, this is a mere glitch, nobody's died, things will sort themselves out, you'll see!"
I'm a master of platitudes, me.

Thanks 3cats. Great news about your DD too, really pleased for you both and I'm sure you'll feel over the moon about it once things are calmer.

Didn't realise you also have a DS at sixth form. Poor lad. You're funny with your platitudes but actually they're all true! DH and I were reflecting on how bloody awful things were this time last year, and they got worse before they got better. It'll work out, especially as he's putting in the effort so has the motivation.

Yes Peebles, you're right; DS has got the motivation, confidence (and bring crap at exams) is his biggest downfall!
There's a 2-year gap between my two, but DD is a year behind, what with all her emotional issues over the past couple of years, she opted to do a years' foundation at a local uni (ex-poly!)
This, however, is her official uni course, and escape to independence, 3 hours drive away!

That's good news for your dad 3cats but sorry for your ds.
Peebles dd did hardly any work so its her own fault if she fails. However I dare not mention that coz in her mind she did work . For a few hours in the weeks preceding the exams but too little too late! It would be nice to know one way or the other.
Yes its not the end of the world its true. Dd needs to get herself a job as studying is not her thing. She's going to get s bloody shock though when she joins the real world.

Two Cs and a D

Moët that's fantastic!! Isn't it? Well in my house it would be. We'd have been over the moon with that last year. And on little work, too? Obviously a clever girl.

Are you happy?? Is she happy??

She's happy and I should be happy too shouldn't I? Tbh I was hoping she would amaze us with her results like she did with GCSEs but I know you can't wing it with AS/A levels. I'm disappointed for her coz if she'd applied herself she could have done so much better.
That sounds awful doesn't it. Im in a funny mood and should be grateful

Moet - a funny mood? That just about sums me up. I'm sitting here, drinking endless coffee, and looking into space, not knowing what or how to feel. Im in a bubble.

I'm also getting texts from friends and colleagues about their DCs achievements - and thinking "oh piss off", whilst being sooo pleased for them.

I just want to sort things out, for things to be ok again. Things will be ok again. Even my dog's fed up with me.

Forgot to say, Well done, Moets DD; they'd be great results in our house too!

It's all relative isn't it. As I say, the vast majority would be devastated with DDs results. We weren't happy last year. Things will work themselves out one way or another. Off to have a nap now - knackered after all this!

3cats I need to sort my head out too. I'm sat in the car in the supermarket car park wondering if its too early to go home and drink wine! Facebook is a no go area as well.
It will be OK again I'm sure. Btw my ds did pretty bad in his AS but pulled things around for A level. And at least he is a worker so he will turn things around sure. I'm talking shite but trying to help.

No, Moet - you're not talking shite at all. We're all bouying each other up here. It's important!
Think I might follow Peebles lead, and lie in a darkened room for a while, then it'll be time for a large glass of something!

One chilled glass of vino currently being quaffed and feeling a lot happier. Dd is home and quite pleased with herself which makes me happy too :)

Good for you!! I'd join you, but I'm on taxi duty, picking up DD from work at 11. (we're out in't Lancashire sticks!) Cheers to you, and everyone else. I'll make up for it tomorrow, do not fret!

Good for you!! I'd join you, but I'm on taxi duty, picking up DD from work at 11. (we're out in't Lancashire sticks!) Cheers to you, and everyone else. I'll make up for it tomorrow, do not fret!

See, I'm repeating myself now. I'll be sitting rocking in a corner next.

Ha. I'll be joining you. Pushed after two glasses

Pushed? Omg

I did wonder!

Glad to see you two are feeling better, haha! I'm on taxi duty too. She was going clubbing but can't be bothered as so knackered, so I'm waiting in the car to pick her up outside the bar.

Well, tonight I have wine, I've sent DH out for a curry, all family in, and watching men in speedos, diving.
DD is busily sorting out uni finance, bank accounts etc, and enthusing over freshers week and the various uni societies available - knitting, cocktail tuition,..
I have my dog beside me, and for this evening, life is good. I hope the same for you lovely lot!