Anyone want a mum of teenagers support thread

[Ledkr]

Thought we could swap ideas, sound off and generally help each other through it.
Lots of you will know from here I'm no shrinking violet but my nearly 14 yr old dd is slowly breaking my spirit, home has become a miserable place to be and I know I'm messing this up.
I've had 3 teen boys and have worked all my life with various types of challenging young person and I'm pretty well respected but my own child is draining the life out of me.
The thing is, it's not huge behavioural stuff, it's probably very normal. I need to learn to pick my battles I know but I simply cannot ignore blatant rudeness or pick up someone's knickers often still containing a sanitary towell and not react.
Is this the answer? Compromise my integrity and become a skivvy just for a quiet life?
I could go on, but I'll see if anyone wants to listen first.
Thanks if you read so far

Great, let us know how you get on. It's only an hour away if you don't like it. Hope it does you good though.

You don't mind if we all come too do you? Haha!!

I'm hoping to catch up on some reading, watch telly and some dvd's!
I don't think there's any wifi there, which in these days is liking being cut off from the world!!

It sleeps 4, so you'll have to draw lots on who comes too!

My DS16 used to be such a funny, kind boy, but over the last couple of years has become extremely unpleasant towards me in particular. He will chat quite happily to DH but I only get one word answers, grunts and raised eyebrows. He's a good boy at school (perhaps anxiety about exam results isn't helping); he's just finished his silver DofE and NCS The Challenge. He is staying at home (with my DM) for the next two weeks rather than come on a lovely holiday with us as apparently we are embarrassing .

I have 3 other DC all grown up and none of them hated me like he seems to, I just can't do anything right at the moment, feeling quite intimidated in my own home. Roll on September.

I'm SO in! I'm really struggling. Thankfully my daughter's behaviour isn't too bad- I've heard of worse, but she's so secretive. I was once her all and I'm now her nothing unless she wants something. Her room is the expected tip. I cleaned it for her while she was away on scout camp (including dirty knickers (with yes, the obligatory sanitary towel), under her bed, her drawers, her desk everything. She was thankful but honestly, not even a week later she's pretty much back to status quo (although not yet had another period so at least that isn't a problem yet).

She has a new boyfriend (of three weeks) that we haven't met, yet she's met his family, had meals with them.

We have good moments but they can flip in a second - in that we'll be talking and having fun, and then she'll walk away from me. She is 16, next one in line is 12 and is already becoming secretive. Thankfully the 7 year old still loves me but I can just see the pattern coming in about 4 or 5 years' time...but hopefully the 16 year old will love me again.

She is relatively moody, but for me it's the pushing us away that's the hardest, and then the expectation that we'll drop everything for her to take her somewhere (most commonly the boyfriend or his friends this holiday). She got snotty with me when I got a text "informing" me that she was ready to go somewhere. Was asked why was I always grumpy. Replied I'm not, but I do things out of the goodness of my own heart and it would simply be nice to be ASKED and not informed.

Hi Im a Newbie to this thanxs for allowing me to join

Im a mother of two teenage boys
My eldest is 18 My youngest is 16
My 18yr old hardly see him now that he has a girlfriend if we ask him to tidy his room or do anything around the house he becomes rude and stropy its no fear on his brother because they share a room my youngest son suffers from A.D.H.D
It's been so hard sometimes my youngest behaviour can be up and down he can be so lovely and make me a cup of tea help with the gardening and other times he can
say some really cruel things I no he doesn't mean it I wish I had a little support , my partner just goes out with his mates alot
I have found soon as I got a dog
It has helped his behaviour he takes the dog over the park I think by him being outdoors and walking does help

Just wanted to say good luck to all those waiting for AS/A level results tomorrow. Not posting on education thread as it makes me downhearted if you know what I mean.
I'm bracing myself for poor results as dd honestly didn't do nearly enough studying IMO but hope that things turn out better than expected.
Fingers crossed everyone x

Good luck to your DD too Moët. I've avoided the education forum in the main, but have joined the 'stressed waiting for results' thread. It's not too bad - not everyone has grade A students over there (though plenty do).

Hoping your DD does better than expected. Do post and let us know.

I swing between thinking she's got in to uni to thinking there's at least one U grade in there. We'll see. I'm sure my main motivation is to get her away from the bad news bf who still persists in lurking. Thought we'd got rid of him last week, but she's back to seeing him 'as a friend, once a week' again. WHYYYYYY???!!! It just makes me want to instantly comfort eat!!

Good luck Peebles. Hope your dd gets what she needs to get into uni and away from loser bf. Luckily my dds bf is a sweetheart so that something to be thankful for.
Sending good vibes.

Moet, Peebles, feeling the results anxiety here too. DD has had a spectacular meltdown today, and guess who got the brunt of it?

PMT is raging and tomorrow's results are looming, so I'm hoping those two combined, explained why she screamed obscenities, trashed her room and stormed out of the house, still swearing, and claiming she hates me and everything about me. I asked her not to use a dark blue towel when she peroxides her hair. My towel is ruined, but apparently I'm petty and have no life because I'm obsessing over a f'ing towel.
Okaaay.
(It's my bloody towel, and I liked that towel.)

Its a stressful time for the dcs 3cats, especially if they are hoping to go to uni. And your dd is bound to take it all out on you. We always get the brunt of everything. My dd is waiting for AS results but does not want to go to uni, so she isn't so bothered and has convinced herself that she's failed everything anyway. I'm biting my tongue not to comment that if she'd actually done some studying she would be OK. But what's the point
Good luck

I have 3 teenage ds's ( 17. 15 and 13) and having a tough day today. Eldest ds is normally ok but today is having a rant over a £900 Apple Macbook that he wants. He earns a good amount of money from aprt time job but manages to save nothing and seems to think we should buy him it because it will help with his A level work. He has blamed his complete lack of work last year on having an old laptop ( not the fact that he did no work full stop). He is in danger of being chucked off his A level course and has no plan B. He has a very motivated girlfriend who works hard and gets A's. He says that this is because she has a macbook computer and is an only child and that if we had not had 4 kids he would have the same as we would have more disposable income like his gf's parents!! I am seriously upset by tis kind of talk and have had a big arguement with him tonight.
DS2 is thankfully ok at the moment, no big issues. DS3 ( 13yr) spends 10 hours a day in his room and will not go out/ do any jobs/ rarely sees friends. Most of the time is spent on his kindle or playing PS4. I even have to tell him to shower and it's driving me mad. I just want to go away by myself for a week ! Sorry I just needed to rant.

moet/Peebles/3cats good luck tomorrow..my DS has his results already because he did a btec..he has a uni place, however he doesn't know if he wants to get a job now

adreana it's very hard when you have no support..I've been a lone parent for many years with no financial or moral support from my ex..

Oh Baby - of course it's your fault for having too many children!
I got told I earn peanuts and it's only DH that gives us a half-decent life!! My peanuts paid for the 2-week holiday we've just returned from.
We didn't bring her up to be entitled, her brother certainly isn't. Such a hard life for the poor loves!

So, are we all checking-in tomorrow with news of whether we might have a more peaceful household our little darlings are fleeing the nest?!

Hi 3cats and Baby. Uggggh, that all sounds crap.

Bet your DD is feeling bad, 3cats. It's the stress talking, as I'm sure you know. Mine insisted she was going out tonight. Then fell asleep. Then woke up and threw a minor strop, said she was still off out despite it being late. Anyway, she's stayed in but has a stress headache now. Sigh.
*
Baby* I had a big row with DD a few years back when she insisted EVERYONE got bought a car for their 17th and why wasn't she getting one? The major bollocking did her good actually, she never mentioned it again.

3cats - yeah, definitely let's check in. I'd love to hear how everyone's DCs have got on.

I'm going to have to wait till lunchtime to find out. Dd was out partying last night and is not going In till 12 to collect her results. She I not too bothered tbh.

That was my DD last year! Wandered in at lunch time. She's asleep now, I know from the other thread that UCAS track is now live - and I know her log in! No, don't worry, I won't take a sneaky look.

She said to wake her at 9, she'll check UCAS then college opens at 9.30 for actual results. Bit of a long wait. Just want to know what we're facing really. Hell that sounds dramatic! Worse things happen at sea.

I remember last year Peebles with ds. I couldn't sleep and was up at 5 stressing until he went online and found he had a place. But different situation as ds really had his heart set on uni and would have been devastated if he didn't get in. Dd is not too bothered as uni is not what she wants.

SHE GOT IN SHE GOT IN SHE GOT INNNNNNN!!!!! Yes I'm crying. Xxx

Aw well done. I'm so pleased for you and your dd. I'm nearly crying for you too! Get the champers out. Woo hoo!.

Ahh Moët you're lovely. Funnily enough DH has indeed opened the champagne and we are all drinking in her room DS1 here too, and DS2 on his way back from a little jolly.

Let us know about your DD.

She got 3 Ds, ho ho - same as last year. Needed CDD but they've accepted her anyway. We're happy with that. Cs would've been a miracle!