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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Dd has literally been crying all night because she doesn't like her hair cut

180 replies

18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 07:35

Dd (13) has been asking for months to get her hair cut short -this has been a considered decision

Went yesterday to get it done and she hates it

The tears started about half an hour after she got home and haven't stopped

She's now saying she's not leaving the house, has cancelled plans to see friends, doesn't want anyone looking at her -its too short to tie up so I've no suggestions for her really

It actually looks really nice but she can't see that

What the hell do I do?

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 11/05/2015 09:44

I had this when I worked as a Saturday girl in a hairdressers, aged 16. They needed models and asked me because I had thick, naturally red hair.

They turned the chair away from the mirrors so I couldn't see what they were doing. I saw one watching hairdresser whisper to another, "it's just getting shorter and shorter." When they finished and span the chair round so I could see the mirror, I was HORRIFIED. My collar-length Bob had been hacked into a pixie HORRORSHOW with hideous long frondy bits in front of my ears.

I ran all the way home and was hysterical - Dad eventually had to slap my face (gently!) as I was properly out of control. I felt suicidal. It was devastating.

I ended up crying at school Hmm and my lovely headmaster called me in yo his office to tell me my haircut looked great "as it shows off more of your lovely face". He was adorable.

The only thing that helped was time, and Marmite (encourages hair growth), and brushing it with Vitapoint conditioner (in a tube, from Boots, they still sell it) because my Nana said that'd make it grow faster.

It must be horrible to see your DD so miserable! Haircuts are traumatic at that age!

Cocolepew · 11/05/2015 10:22

Hurray! Hope she has a good day.

PacificDogwood · 11/05/2015 22:18

I may be over-invested in this Blush, but I am wondering how she got on at school today?

RudyMentary · 11/05/2015 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/05/2015 22:29

Me too...

Original poster
18yearstooold · 11/05/2015 22:35

She had a rough day

The teachers liked it and the 'popular girls' said she looked like a boy

She has remained hoodless tonight though

OP posts:
CamelHump · 11/05/2015 22:37

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ApronStrings101 · 11/05/2015 22:59

The "popular" girls are secretly jealous your DD had the balls to have such a statement haircut whilst they are like a herd of sheep - following everyone else as they are so desperate to fit in and be accepted!

CamelHump · 11/05/2015 23:07

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PacificDogwood · 12/05/2015 07:26

I am glad she is managing no-hoodieness Smile

And yes, the popular girls just wish they had made that fashion-forward step before her Grin

SoupDragon · 12/05/2015 07:58

I reckon the popular girls are jealous too. I bet they all look like safe clones :)

Cocolepew · 12/05/2015 08:12

When dd first cut hers short the 'popular' girls decided she must be a lesbian. She looked at them like this HmmConfused and took no more notice of them.

Dumbledoresgirl · 12/05/2015 08:54

I suspect my dd got a similar response when she went into school with her pixie cut. She didn't tell me specifically what people said, but I suspect the girls with their uniform long straight glossy hair said negative things. Weeks after the cut, at parents' evening, almost every female teacher we spoke to commented spontaneously how lovely her hairstyle was and how much she had 'grown' since having it done.

Teenage girls are sheep, all following each other, desperate not to be different. Adult women see things as they really are. I am hugely proud of my dd for breaking free of what is perceived as safe, normal and popular, and going her own way.

Hopefully your dd will feel good about herself and her hairstyle soon.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 12/05/2015 09:04

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MagentaVitus · 12/05/2015 10:31

I think telling her it is jealousy is a cop-out. People don't pick on others over a haircut because they are jealous. If they were, they'd just get their own hair cut.

They point it out because it is different, and insecure teenagers don't respond well to change.

Reassure by telling her that she will be old news soon enough. Give a week, and nobody will remember her old hair.

addstudentdinners2 · 12/05/2015 10:33

the 'popular girls' said she looked like a boy

Honestly, what horrible people.

There does seem to be a bit of a stigma about short hair amongst teenage girls (and even women!), I always had my hair short (hate long hair). It's now just above my shoulders and people still tell me it's short and don't I want to try growing it.

Flowers for your DD.

SoupDragon · 12/05/2015 11:36

People don't pick on others over a haircut because they are jealous. If they were, they'd just get their own hair cut.

I don't think it is jealousy over the hair cut as such, it is jealousy that the DD has the confidence to do something dramatically different and look great having done it.

MagentaVitus · 12/05/2015 12:58

I still don't think it is jealousy Soup, but a poor, immature reaction to anything out of the ordinary. If you spent your life trying to fit into an ideal that you have been socialised by your peers to think is the only way to look/behave, it is easy to react poorly to anyone who challenges that.

drycoughssuck · 13/05/2015 13:06

The popular girls are dicks don't matter.
What do her friends think of it?

LynetteScavo · 13/05/2015 18:43

That's the best the "popular" girls could come up with?

It must look fab! Grin

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 13/05/2015 23:40

It's not jealousy, kids say crap things to others to make them feel better about themselves. It's all about being top dog and making sure you're at the top of the pile by keeping others below you with nasty comments and a new hair cut is prime opportunity .

pnutter · 13/05/2015 23:47

My dd is 8 and went by choice from long hair to a pixie a couple of weeks ago. We've had little boys asking in sainsburys if she's a boy , but dd has perfected a great withering look. She's also had lots of kids and adults that say she looks fab. I think it's just an 'unusual' thing and it's bonkers really . hope your dd is ok.

Takver · 14/05/2015 19:25

Strangely, my dd had what I think must be an almost identical haircut a couple of days ago. No wobbles from her (though a lot of faffing with wax).

She says she got the 'you look like a boy' thing but mostly from the boys (and 'now you feel my pain' from her friend who gets told endlessly he looks like a girl because he has long hair and a fine boned face . . . ).

TummyButtonFluff · 14/05/2015 19:35

'The teachers liked it and the 'popular girls' said she looked like a boy ' - what cows. Why are females so horrible to each other? I suspect it's a bit more than about the haircut and about how she sees herself generally. I bet you all look back on this and laugh about 'the time when you refused to go out and wore a hoodie for days'. She'll be fine, you'll be fine FlowersSmile

Takver · 15/05/2015 12:01

"There does seem to be a bit of a stigma about short hair amongst teenage girls (and even women!)"

I'm not convinced - what about Shailene Woodley (sp?) and Emma Watson of course. DD's cut is very much like Tris's hair in Insurgent.

(As an aside, anyone else seen the film and impressed at the hairstyling options for revolutionaries on the run Grin )

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