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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Dd has literally been crying all night because she doesn't like her hair cut

180 replies

18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 07:35

Dd (13) has been asking for months to get her hair cut short -this has been a considered decision

Went yesterday to get it done and she hates it

The tears started about half an hour after she got home and haven't stopped

She's now saying she's not leaving the house, has cancelled plans to see friends, doesn't want anyone looking at her -its too short to tie up so I've no suggestions for her really

It actually looks really nice but she can't see that

What the hell do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 11:08

She's said she doesn't want anyone to see her

I've told her its lovely, she can't hide in her room forever and she and other people will get used to it very quickly

I'm now ignoring her

OP posts:
Zucker · 09/05/2015 11:18

Best way to go 18years, try not to feed the dramzzzzzz.

The alternative is 48 hours of OMGMYLIFEISSHITANDSOISMYHAIRRRRRRANDYOUDONTUNDERSTANDDDDDD.

Good luck!

Original poster
18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 11:21

We had that last night, i'm hoping if I leave her be today, tomorrow she might venture out

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 09/05/2015 11:22

Awww I bet it looks lovely.

Yes to letting her put on eye make-up, and maybe twisting it back and pinning with kirbies until she's used to it.

SunshineAndShadows · 09/05/2015 11:36

I agree with a makeover session. Can you convince her to go to a counter? She needs a new 'look' otherwise she'll feel her hair doesn't fit her face.
Also agree to not pandering, it's harsh but she's going to have to deal with it

Original poster
18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 11:53

I can't convince her out of her bedroom, never mind to a beauty counter!

She's sat in bed with a hoody on, hood up, telling me a puppy will make her feel better

I'm hoping that means she's coming around a bit -tears have stopped anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 11:53

She's not getting a puppy btw

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 09/05/2015 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Koalafications · 09/05/2015 12:43

Oh sorry, for some reason I thought it was Sunday today! Blush.

At least she doesn't have to go to school tomorrow and she had two days to get used to it.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/05/2015 20:38

I agree with Very very dark grey- don't feed the teen drama. Been there with ds, the more I try and jolly ds out of it the worse he gets. After a similar hair cut drama with tears and howling he came bouncing home from school declaring his mates thought he looked greatHmmGrin

It's not really about the hair, it's about whether they will fit in with their mates. Bloody hormones, poor things!

Original poster
18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 20:49

Well she still hasn't emerged from her room

Has turned down all meals

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 09/05/2015 20:55

Looks like it's going to have to be the puppy then, OP! Grin

Original poster
18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 21:17

Definitely not getting a puppy! Grin

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 09/05/2015 21:19

Ha! 'Puppy'.

She's SO feeling better is she's able to try and use her distress to manipulate you in to getting a puppy!!
Clever DD, you've got there Grin

PacificDogwood · 09/05/2015 21:20

if

bigTillyMint · 09/05/2015 21:24

That is a lovely cut. What a shame she doesn't like it.

Does she not do snapchat, etc - that would be a way of letting her best friends see it without them actually physically being there. I bet they would tell her she looks lovely.

BadgersArse · 09/05/2015 21:33

OP if she doesn't like it thats fine. BUT tell her I a sec teacher. LOADS of the cool girls have hair like that. Not the sheep girls, the cool edgy ones/

Original poster
18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 21:37

She's been in floods this afternoon -apparently everyone is going to bully her, I don't understand, she wants extensions before she leaves the house

Having a horrible weekend and I ended up shouting at her

OP posts:
Dansak · 09/05/2015 21:40

I did similar at 13, but even shorter. I was devastated afterwards, I remember it so clearly.

My mum was very sympathetic at first, which actually didn't really help. It was only when she got fed up and told me off for being such a drama queen and to be grateful I hadn't lost my hair to cancer, that I actually bucked up a bit. Although that comment was met with hysterics about not understanding Blush. It did make me think and just get on with it.

Tough love I'm afraid op. The reactions of friends and teachers really helped too though.

Should be a law to stop 13 year olds having drastic haircuts Grin, hormones just aren't up to it.

bigTillyMint · 09/05/2015 21:41

Absolutely agree with Badgers. Very few of the girls that my DC are friendly with have short hair, and the ones that do look so cool and different.

Tequilashotsfor1 · 09/05/2015 21:46

Ah I remember having a bad cut and I swung from crying hysterically and laughing hysterically at it as it was that bad and I was in my twenties.

Bless her. Sad

DixieNormas · 09/05/2015 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
18yearstooold · 09/05/2015 22:01

I think that's it -it's completely knocked her confidence

I've told her she just needs to own it and if anyone says anything then act like she doesn't care -but she's a long way from being able to do that

OP posts:
Koalafications · 09/05/2015 23:09

A few years ago, I got hair extensions when my hair was cut too short. It was still a bob though.

Does she understand that extensions aren't an option (not just because of the cost) but also because her hair is far too short? All the bonds would show and it would look awful.

LynetteScavo · 10/05/2015 07:48

Lol @ a puppy! So the kind of thing my DD would come out with.

But you're right, she needs to own it.

The facts are she hates it. She has to go to school on Monday. She mustn't let others know she hates it ( apart from her BFs)

There will be some annoying mean boy who says something unkind about her new cut, thinking they are being really funny...there always is, even if really liked it, so she might want to be prepared with a response.

I think I'd say how confident and sassy her hair makes her look and how she needs to try to live up to her new image at school. If others get a whiff she doesn't like it it they will have a field day. Do you think she will be able to put on a front?

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