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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS has been excluded from school

205 replies

Blossomflowers · 09/03/2015 10:55

Had a call from the police on Friday pm, DS son was found with cannabis at school. They brought him home, searched his room and gave him a Caution, school has excluded him whilst they decide what to do. This sounds very bad but actually turns out he found the tiniest bit ( a stalk and not smokeable ) in a bag a school, happened to fall out of his pocket, he is an idiot for picking it up and is now grounded. But I am very about his future, he was doing so well and very well liked by his teachers, now he could be expelled. I kind of think that school over reacted, what do you guys think?

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 09/03/2015 11:25

I am confused, if he is a smoker then he would have no interest in picking up a stalk in a bag to wonder what it was.
f he is not a smoker yes I can see he would be intrigued.

SunnyBaudelaire · 09/03/2015 11:25

I am not 'indulging' anything.
I would not be too happy either, but eventually what can you do? Throw them out? Beat them?
You know, life goes on?
How old is your son then Teeb?

clam · 09/03/2015 11:26

That's because that's not what happened, stayathome.

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 09/03/2015 11:29

Sigh. This is really not helpful. Yes he smokes weed, like most of his mates, I hate it and want him to stop. The police were satisfied with his story ,he does not deal to little kids

OP posts:
andsmile · 09/03/2015 11:31

After watching that drugs live programme last week about the different types of stuff they smoke these days - absolutely agree with the schools actions. Theyhave a duty to protect other students - whatever the reasons your son says it ended up in his possession, it did and he got caught and that is the result.

I dont think any teen who knew the consequences just wouldnt touch it to risk being found. I am sorry you are having to deal with this. He has been silly but i dont think you have the full truth.

What year is he? you may negotiate work from home and still sit exams if in year 11 or is it time to look for another school.

I agree with cam - parent him and firmly.

Teeb · 09/03/2015 11:31

I'm a primary carer for an 18 year old girl. If it was me, I'd accept the exclusion, and start grovelling to the school. I'd take them to local drug rehabilitation units or day centres to actually see what drugs do to people, I imagine every single one of them will have smoked a bit of harmless weed at some point in their history. I'd ground them and reduce access to funds. I'd ask a lawyer friend to come over for an evening to explain the consequences of their actions, not onLy from a legal stand point, but also when it comes to employability and getting into university if they have a caution on record.

andsmile · 09/03/2015 11:33

I'd make him watch that drugs live programme from last week. It was no holds barred, factual, far from cool.

It had people on it who had been adversely affected, doctors, drug researchers and reahbilitation spokepersons, and a judge.

It is a gateway drug and should not be minimised that programme clearly explained the differneces in a 'tote on a spliff' back in the days is totally different to some types of gear nowadays.

SunnyBaudelaire · 09/03/2015 11:34

" I'd take them to local drug rehabilitation units or day centres to actually see what drugs do to people,"
yes well good luck with that teeb, lol.
When you are living in the real world , let us know yeh?

GingerCuddleMonster · 09/03/2015 11:35

your son was found with illegal drugs, he was punished for his illegal actions.

I can't see a problem Confused

clam · 09/03/2015 11:35

You say this is not helpful. You asked if we thought the school was over-reacting and most here have said no, we don't.

I take it that's not what you wanted to hear?

Teeb · 09/03/2015 11:35

Excuse me? You don't believe that drug day centre where people collect needles exist? You don't believe that they need volunteers! You don't believe that it would be a bit of a wake up call?

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 09/03/2015 11:36

teeb please butt out now, your comments are not helpful. I find your extremely judgemental and patronising your posts are totally unhelpful. He has stupidly smoked weed and been caught.

OP posts:
andsmile · 09/03/2015 11:37

Blossom he is a fucking kid

'like most of his mates' - you are minimising his behaviour by justifying it by the standards of others and not what you know to be wrong

Your posts sound like you are ok with it all - well a lot of us parents with kids at around kids like yours are not, we dont want the drugs near our kids or in our schools

FFS lost any sympathy afer your last post.

clam · 09/03/2015 11:37

I think she's implying that such centres would be swamped with visitors.

SunnyBaudelaire · 09/03/2015 11:37

I do not think they would take you as a volunteer, no, they need committed non judgemental professional workers, not some random who wants to use them for their own ends.

Teeb · 09/03/2015 11:37

FYI, those drug rehabilitation centres have strong links with local secondary schools and often come to give talks to the students, I'd imagine they would appreciate parents proactively engaging with their services.

If you choose to stand by and do nothing then that's your call.

SunnyBaudelaire · 09/03/2015 11:40

"I'd imagine"
OK just carry on in your imaginary world.

GingerCuddleMonster · 09/03/2015 11:41

Blossom you don't seem bothered about the weed smoking because his friends do it too and its silly, it's more than silly its illegal! Shock

PotteringAlong · 09/03/2015 11:43

I meant he's lying about having picked it up off the floor.

stayathomegardener · 09/03/2015 11:43

We found some cut down cannabis plants thrown into some land where we run a business.
DD 16(never smoked anything)was fascinated at the look and smell, took a leaf home and pressed it in her flower press.
Most unhelpful.

Awaits police.

IsabellaofFrance · 09/03/2015 11:44

What do you think the school should have done Blossom? And what more could you have done?

Original poster
Blossomflowers · 09/03/2015 11:45

andsmile I live in the real world, yes most of his mates smoke, sorry but it is true. I do not like hi doing it infatc I hate it, he is grounded and and have told him I am appalled at his actions. Will it stop him? I dunno He is 14 and I cannot be by his side 24/7. I will say is one more time, yes school need to take this very seriously but to expel him, how will that help.

OP posts:
SunnyBaudelaire · 09/03/2015 11:46

Blossom you could ask the school and/or police if there is a youth drugs worker, there is some scheme like that around here. They meet one to one and discuss the damagin effects of drugs. Do not be shy about signing him up, my son did the course, there is no shame in it.

specialsubject · 09/03/2015 11:46

he's a dope smoker and he got caught. The school policies would have been clear to you, and to him. You knew he was a dope smoker.

the pathetic attempt at lying hasn't worked. The law applies to him too.

this is called consequences. He needs to start grovelling hard and working to change his ways. Perhaps they'll give him a chance, but not if fault is not accepted.

stayathomegardener · 09/03/2015 11:46

14... :(

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