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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Im 18, have fallen pregnant. I dont know what the right decision is, can anyone help?

265 replies

lucyw19 · 17/09/2006 15:00

I 18, i dont know what to do, HELP!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lucyw19 · 25/09/2006 14:59

Yeha i do feel like moving away but i need my partner to come with me , as he's the one who works.

I dont know if anyone noes if u get any support if ur not working??

wb x

OP posts:
rebeka27 · 25/09/2006 15:01

Don't worry, just go with it. A pregnancy lasts for a long time, you can sort everything out in nine months! It is hard, having to grow up suddenly, when half of you feels like an adult and the other half still needs your mum! But it is lovely lovely having a baby. Hard work, but I think def worth it in the end x

Original poster
lucyw19 · 25/09/2006 15:02

i just want things sorted, im just that sort of person.

thank you for your advice =]

i like this site it makes me feel better!

OP posts:
rebeka27 · 25/09/2006 15:03

How about going to Citizens Advice, for info on benefits, housing etc? Maybe some facts and figures will help you sort out the next move x

Original poster
lucyw19 · 25/09/2006 15:05

yeha i was thinking about doing that today.

thank you .

How old are you know btw?

x

OP posts:
rebeka27 · 25/09/2006 15:07

I'm 30 now! So my eldest is nearly 11, is good being a young mum, we are very close. I have to go and get her from school now in fact, hope evrything goes well for you x

JennyLee · 25/09/2006 18:06

Wishing you good luck with everything, your Mom will come round and she obviously loves you.

izzybiz · 26/09/2006 15:19

Just found this thread.
I had my son when i was 16, i was given a couple of hours to decide what i wanted to do by the doctor!
Needless to say, i kept my baby, once i had made the decision everything became slightly easier.
Believe me, i know its hard but whatever choice you make will change your life. it does sound to me like you would like the chance to keep this baby, there is lots of help available, i thought that my dad would hate my son.
As soon as he saw him he was smitten!
Im not going to lie and say its easy, it isnt, but i dont regret a thing. Im 30 now and my son is 14 at xmas, we have a lovely home, i met my Dp 10 years ago and i have a 2 year old Dd.
I feel very close to my son because of our ages and the fact that i did struggle early on.
I also had to have a termination a couple of years ago too, so i know how that affects you also.
I just want to add, PLEASE be sure you are doing what is right for you, no one else really matters in this. I truly hope it all works out for you, please let us know. Em.xx

Original poster
lucyw19 · 26/09/2006 21:12

Thank you, i think ive decided now. im worried about housing and money but things should work out if their meant to be hey.

wb x

OP posts:
JennyLee · 27/09/2006 08:34

does that mean you are keeping the baby? let us know. I am glad you have come to a decision either way. Keep posting if you have any worries or anything you need to ask.

Original poster
lucyw19 · 27/09/2006 09:11

Well, i think i have. Im going to see a girl who was my age when she had her baby, today!

So that should help.

Just need to sort out what im doing now cos i dont have a job etc... and moving out is the nxt thing to do.

an anyone suggest what they did?

wb x

OP posts:
izzybiz · 27/09/2006 10:05

I stayed at home when i had my son, but my dad went and enquired about where i stood with housing, because of my age they could only put me in a hostel till i was 18.

I didnt want to leave anyway, i moved in with my Bf, and his mum when i was 17, and i put my name on the council waiting list. I got my flat when i was 18.

By that time i had split with my Bf, i went on benefits, so my rent and council tax was paid, and i recieved an amount each week, and child benefit every month.
Once my son went to playschool when he was 3, i found a part time job.

I would suggest, if you have decided to keep your baby, make an appointment at the CAB, they will be able to give you all the advice you need.
Also go to your local council and look into putting your name on their housing list.

Remember, there is no shame in using state help when you really need it, you can also get help now with courses and childcare, so you can still have the career you want.

Good luck.xx

Original poster
lucyw19 · 28/09/2006 09:54

I met a girl that was the same age as me, yesterday.

She says its hard but her little girl is gorgeous.

Hoping to go to the cab today.

wb x

OP posts:
Munz · 28/09/2006 09:59

lucy - i've been reading your story, and just wanted to add, I think it's hard no matter how old you are with a baby, and tbh, i'm married witha home etc but when my dad found out I was pg he was upset, kept saying he didn't want to be a granddad, wasn't really intrested - until I had an apt where the dr said I was too anemic - then that coupled with seeing a picture changed his mind completely - now he's the total opposite - mums no longer allowed to pick him up from a nap as dad wants to! lol - apparently nanna's get all the besty jobs! - anyhow what i'm trying to say is your mum/dad are probablyu dissapointed in the first part as it's not what they wanted for u etc, however once they see the scan piccys and see hte little bundle i'm sure they'll be overcome and totally love being grandparents - good luck.)

ooh and also the MN/ebay are excellent places for clothes and essentials - there's always someone having a baby sale - a lot of joey's stuff was 2nd hand but as they don't use them for long there's not much point in buying all brand new everything

Original poster
lucyw19 · 28/09/2006 10:21

Thank you, a lot of ppl have said look on ebay.

But i dont want to go out and buy stuff now, ill wait a little while.

i hope i can get a house/flat, hopefulyl before the babys born. Their my biggest worrys!

x

OP posts:
fussymummy · 28/09/2006 13:00

Lucy, have you enquired about what benefits you're entitled to????

You should be able to get income support and help paying rent (even to your mum)

I believe there is also a maternity grant for £500.00 that you'd be entitled to as a one off payment about 12 weeks before baby is born.

This will allow you to buy all the essentials.

If you spend it wisely and buy bargains, you'll get a lot for your money.

Also, when baby i born, you'll get child benefit each week.

Then you can apply for tax credits as well.

There's also working tax credits for if you go back to work, they'll help with childcare costs as well.

You'll be surprised.

nimbs · 29/09/2006 21:14

Hi lucy - i haven't read the entire thread but if you go to freecycle.org.uk - there is probably a freecycle group in your area - quite often baby bits come up on there for free - like highchairs/clothes etc- worth a look this

hope the linke works

noknittingnanny · 29/09/2006 22:20

speaking as a young nanny I can honestly say when my 17 yr daughter told me she was pregnant(a day after passsing 10 g.c.s.e's) I was upset-and I was worried about her college plans/future.She went to college and passed with distinction. My grandson, now 17 months is amazing and the whole family are proud of them both.The help that she recieved from college re nursery and emailing course work was excellent.Tell your mum your plans she'll want the best for you too.My daughter still lives at home and we love having our grandson here-I just forget about the clutter.Good luck !

Original poster
lucyw19 · 01/10/2006 11:10

my dad is apparently very annoyed with my bf, but as i said it takes two.

we are looking at a house on monday, see how that goes.

OP posts:
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 01/10/2006 11:17

hi Lucy

I was 18 when I got pregnant, and then I got pregant again aged 20.

When my youngest was a couple of months old I started an access to health course at college. I want to do Midwifery and will get there in the end.

Just really wanted to say that education is possible with children

Good Luck!

Original poster
lucyw19 · 01/10/2006 18:44

im mostly worried about money and coping.

edcation will come later i hope

i still really dnt no what to do, time is running out

OP posts:
SpookyQuootiepie · 02/10/2006 16:21

hiya - Hows it going? x

Original poster
lucyw19 · 03/10/2006 12:52

hello, i have decided to keep the baby.

My mum knows, and is okay ish with it. Just wants me and my aprtner tog et engaged, which i would like too.. not marriage straight away though!

We are looking at properties and applying for the council, but apparently its hard to get on the council and ill be out in a bed sit, which is not what i want at all!!

thanky ou for all ur help

wb x

OP posts:
Astrophe · 03/10/2006 13:00

Congratulations Lucy, and well done. I know you've agonised over this decision. I'm sure you will never regret it once your baby arrives (well...maybe just for a second when baby cries in the middle of the night ) Jokes aside, you are obviously a very thoughtful person and I'm sure will make a lovely Mummy

Best wishes to you and your DP.

Original poster
lucyw19 · 03/10/2006 13:01

Thank you,

Yes it has taken a while, but im hoping the right choice has been made, and things start to fall into place.

i feel more relaxed, like a weight has been lifted!

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