Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
72
ihaveafavouritecat · Yesterday 13:07

Sounds like you’re all feeling as exasperated with me, as I am with the shoe search itself. Sorry about that. Please don’t stick around unless you really want to. I have really welcomed your encouragement and help, but I have felt a bit battered by some of the recent criticism: Stupid OP choosing such dull and dreary brands, high fashion brands, out of date styles, going round in circles, rejecting all our recommendations, etc.

I got back from travels late last night. I have a bunch of shoes/boots on order, yet to arrive, but from your comments above, it sounds like you all already largely feel I’m making the wrong selections. I should say that all the shoes/boots ordered, only came across my line of vision because PP on here recommended and shared them: Jones, Gabor, Kurt Geiger, etc. So let’s see. I’m utterly ground down with this bit! As you say, just trying to choose a couple of pairs of shoes and or boots… I had no idea! Omg. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Oh and btw, I’m not for one minute considering Esska. I think they’re expensive and ugly - but I was trying to be tactful and was too polite to be quite so direct to the PP who keenly recommended them, so I just made a jokey response.

Now that I’m back in the UK, I can at least try a few things on, with the dress and jumpsuit, and decide what works for me. That’s probably better than panic ordering from Greece, something I like the look of, that only has one pair left in my size…

OP posts:
InTheFirstHalf · Yesterday 13:21

ihaveafavouritecat · Yesterday 13:07

Sounds like you’re all feeling as exasperated with me, as I am with the shoe search itself. Sorry about that. Please don’t stick around unless you really want to. I have really welcomed your encouragement and help, but I have felt a bit battered by some of the recent criticism: Stupid OP choosing such dull and dreary brands, high fashion brands, out of date styles, going round in circles, rejecting all our recommendations, etc.

I got back from travels late last night. I have a bunch of shoes/boots on order, yet to arrive, but from your comments above, it sounds like you all already largely feel I’m making the wrong selections. I should say that all the shoes/boots ordered, only came across my line of vision because PP on here recommended and shared them: Jones, Gabor, Kurt Geiger, etc. So let’s see. I’m utterly ground down with this bit! As you say, just trying to choose a couple of pairs of shoes and or boots… I had no idea! Omg. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Oh and btw, I’m not for one minute considering Esska. I think they’re expensive and ugly - but I was trying to be tactful and was too polite to be quite so direct to the PP who keenly recommended them, so I just made a jokey response.

Now that I’m back in the UK, I can at least try a few things on, with the dress and jumpsuit, and decide what works for me. That’s probably better than panic ordering from Greece, something I like the look of, that only has one pair left in my size…

I think it is maybe the classic case of ‘two many cooks’ which is not helping you make the final decisions.

Many posters have been really helpful. This has extended your knowledge and ideas as well as other readers of this thread.
Now is the time for you to buy what you like and feel comfortable in.

Nylonflares · Yesterday 13:41

I do get that @ihaveafavouritecat !

Maybe just step away and enjoy the wedding in your fabulous looks!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · Yesterday 13:48

I don’t think anybody has in the slightest suggested that you’re stupid @ihaveafavouritecat although I totally understand why you’re feeling so fed up and overwhelmed.

This is, in any roomful of women in real life, a collection of opinionated women whose opinions don’t conform to a collective ‘right answer’ and you’re probably feeling torn every which way by that.

You can’t please everyone, but you can please yourself- you’ve just lost sight a bit of what might please you, which is why myself and several others have suggested going and trying a load of shoes on in real shops, even if it’s just a big John Lewis.

The only stupid thing at this point would be to buy something that gets the most vocal approval on here, but that you then can’t walk in!

Ruthietuthie · Yesterday 14:00

Please don't feel down, @ihaveafavouritecat. Honestly, I wish that we were friends in real life and could head out shopping together for the day or sit down with a glass of wine and order some things online. We'd have the loveliest time and definitely find the right shoes.
To me, it's the extent of the transformation that is so remarkable. Your very first four suggestions in comparison to the jumpsuit and dress you've ended up with. Well, anyone would be blown away. And then to remember that your first take on the final winning dress (albeit in a size too big) was that it looked silly. You need a friend to say, actually, this looks really good, try it on again.
So, there can be a disconnect between the person in the first four photographs (who would, yes, have paired these early outfits with a shiny Gabor shoe) and the person you are now, in the final outfits, with the beautiful, interesting, organic gold cuff that you chose. You are caught in between. I so don't want you to fall back.

On shoes, my first rule is MUST BE COMFORTABLE. A shoe that rubs, pinches, or causes feet to ache shoes on a person's face. The Gabor shoes look heavy and, actually, not that comfortable, in addition to the color not being complimentary.

Try the black ones on and go from there.

MumzSuki · Yesterday 15:33

@Ruthietuthie I’ve worn those Gabor shoes in 2 different colours to different weddings and they are supremely comfortable and light. That’s why I bought them. I can understand that they have not gone down well in this thread because they are not the most fashionable but I’d say that Gabor shoes are known for being comfortable.

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:01

Just posting this quickly as they've just come up in my feed - Russell & Bromley size 6 slingbacks, soft gold (but not too pale/champagne-toned), leather, only worn once - & look at the price! I would pounce on these, @ihaveafavouritecat !!!! Even if they don't suit (& I think they will), you'll be able to sell them again for the same price at least.

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/10544862886-russell-and-bromley

Mother of the Groom: get me to the finish line!
Ruthietuthie · Yesterday 16:17

The ones @EleanorMc67 just posted are PERFECT.

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:17

Ruthietuthie · 24/10/2026 00:30

OK... so the Me&Em catalogue just arrived in the mail.
What about this beautiful clutch?
Or this one? Lizard in tortoise colors, with the gold bar tucked under as shown?

It's a beautiful clutch, but their prices seem to have shot up quite a bit (that necklace - the one they gave the OP to try on - the price was just silly!!). Even if the clutch was absolutely perfect for this event, I don't think it's anywhere near worth it for an event where it would be decidedly second-fiddle & may not be used much afterwards.

Whereas, if it was going to be in frequent use & affordable (to those with bigger budgets, which isn't me - but I'm always happy to see someone else buy a thing of loveliness!), then why not ...

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:18

Ruthietuthie · Yesterday 16:17

The ones @EleanorMc67 just posted are PERFECT.

Aren't they? I do hope the OP spots this asap & nabs them ...

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:24

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · Yesterday 07:52

I also like a gap between dress and boot. I dislike the KG sparkly boots though. I think they look cheap.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie & @Nylonflares - I like it when it's a more substantial gap. On me, as I'm tall, small gaps look ok with chunky boots but not with slim heeled ankle boots - it looks as if I've just got the proportions wrong. I haven't analysed why (will probably spend far too much time thinking about it later!!), but for those who can rock it, that's good - I can't!

Ruthietuthie · Yesterday 16:27

@EleanorMc67, I agree with you that the Me@Em clutch isn't worth it to OP if she won't wear it much (and won't even really use it for the wedding itself).
I can imagine using it for multiple things - out for dinner, out to a reception at an art gallery - but I go out quite a lot in the evening (and can't say no to a beautiful thing or a statement bag.. I wore the absolutely ridiculous Cult Gaia Grape Clutch to the last evening event. My husband was rolling his eyes.

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:27

Charlenedickens · Yesterday 06:40

ah just seen this thread I was under a different name on the last one, no reason for the change other than I randomly do it 😂

anyway I was the poster who also has bought the jumpsuit,

I have tried every variation of shoe and beleive black suede goes the best, I did tack mine up an inch and have let it down again , and will need to wear a low heel with it. I didn’t cut the material and it was too lumpy if that’s the right word and they sort of swung about, it wasn’t right, even my husband was a bit like hmm, so I took it down again and tried a low heel.

i have a pair of black suede quite delicate ankle boots I will wear with it over Xmas and new year and if I was wearing sandals ir shoes I’d also go for black suede.

the material is very dark in some lights and I think gold is too much of a contrast, Focus will be on the shoes, me + em style it with black suede shoes and I think they’ve got it right.like me they probably tried every variation for styling and settled on black suede as the best,

for jackets to casual it down I’ve a fitted black leather jacket from Reiss, which works very well, the fitted jacket balances the billowy legs, so if going for a jacket I’d pick something neat to the hip and fitted,

at new years I will need a coat, as I will be outside, and I’ve two, one cream thicker from reiss to the kneee and one black and low calf length, an older lk Bennet one, and it will be the black, again the cream is just too high contrast. The silhouette is wrong, the black one is closely fitting, long and narrow,

ive far too many clothes and I’ve tried it with everything, from tan shoes to dark brown jacket and for some reason black, a colour I seldom wear, works the best.

i think it’s because as much as it is clearly a dark green colour and can shimmer lighter green in parts, it also shows as very dark almost black In others,

so I’d recommend a pair of elegant low heel black suede shoes, and a black fitted jacket, to the hip bones, to balance the billowy wide legs out. Let the jumpsuit do the talking,

anything else I think will give the wrong shape , look awkward and be too high contrast,

I agree that black would look good, but if she wears the brown fake fur with the jumpsuit then I think bronze (ideally) or a muted gold would be better than black. They'd work with a black jacket, yes - but I don't think OP is much of a wearer of black, except maybe sometimes in footwear? And would prefer not to wear a black jacket as MotG? May have got that wrong though ...

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · Yesterday 16:36

Yes the jacket thing is a point I’d forgotten to factor in. I guess OP probably needs to decide on a jacket or shoes/boots first and then fit the other thing to that. A bag should then be pretty straightforward.

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:37

Ruthietuthie · Yesterday 16:27

@EleanorMc67, I agree with you that the Me@Em clutch isn't worth it to OP if she won't wear it much (and won't even really use it for the wedding itself).
I can imagine using it for multiple things - out for dinner, out to a reception at an art gallery - but I go out quite a lot in the evening (and can't say no to a beautiful thing or a statement bag.. I wore the absolutely ridiculous Cult Gaia Grape Clutch to the last evening event. My husband was rolling his eyes.

This one? Yes it is ridiculous - but fabulous! I love it paired with the leafy green dress ... I hope you got lots of compliments, despite your husband's eye rolling!

Your evening events are clearly several notches above mine, @Ruthietuthie - a bus to the Cameo cinema midweek for a 6pm showing is my usual treat, maybe with some rainbow dumplings at Dumplings of China afterwards ...

Mother of the Groom: get me to the finish line!
Mother of the Groom: get me to the finish line!
Mother of the Groom: get me to the finish line!
EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:49

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · Yesterday 08:24

Although way back in the previous thread, I asked @ihaveafavouritecat where she usually buys her shoes and the brands she said were of the very, very sensible kind. This suggests to me that she’d be uncomfortable in fashion brands (low or high end) and that a more sensible style, even if not cutting edge or making a statement, might actually make her feet much happier on the day. It’s a decision she’ll have to make, but it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of the chase, as it were, and forget about more practical issues. I’ve been there!

At risk of sounding like a broken record though, I remain on team black suede!

Oh I agree that something high & uncomfortable is daft - I don't wear high heels anymore (not sure I could!). But a low-to-mid chunky/kitten/slim heel is do-able, even to me. The proportions of a shoe make such a difference too - just a small tweak in the heel position or toe width etc can make all the difference.

Of the "comfy" shoe brands, some are better at looking quite fashionable than others IMO, & I think Gabor can verge on dated more than others. There were other gold slingbacks by Gabor that I thought were better than these ones - although I can see that these would definitely be stable & comfortable & supportive.

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:56

MumzSuki · Yesterday 08:30

I had no idea Air and Grace do a flat version! Thanks for this; I’ve just ordered them; have been looking for shoes to change into at night that I can dance in.
I’m going to have to return my Gabor shoes; they’re universally disliked. I focus a lot on shoes but not footwear; I now feel pretty clueless!

Oh good - I hope you like them! I really like mine worn with long wide trousers - I just got lucky with this Jigsaw set on Vinted & am enjoying them together. (Last time I posted this set I got lots of pyjama comments! Yes they are a bit, but I'm just pretending I have a life where lounging around in satin pyjamas is the done thing 😁!)

Mother of the Groom: get me to the finish line!
EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 17:27

MumzSuki · Yesterday 08:30

I had no idea Air and Grace do a flat version! Thanks for this; I’ve just ordered them; have been looking for shoes to change into at night that I can dance in.
I’m going to have to return my Gabor shoes; they’re universally disliked. I focus a lot on shoes but not footwear; I now feel pretty clueless!

I agree with @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie - just because I & a few other random but equally opinionated women on here think they're a bit sensible, doesn't mean that you have to listen! Ditto with @ihaveafavouritecat & her orders!

If I saw you wearing the Florere dress with the Gabor shoes IRL I probably wouldn't even notice them, or if I did then I would think they're perfectly ok.

I was thinking of this thread at the Cumbrian ceilidh at the weekend, where pretty much everyone was dressed for comfort (& warmth, it being a village hall on a very stormy night!). The reality is that I notice clothes/outfits that I really like (often not for myself but because that person wears it so well/has a great look that is very much their own). And also sometimes I notice clothes/outfits that I really dislike.

At the ceilidh I noticed (outfit-wise):

  • the woman in the jumpsuit with the gold heeled boots, because of this thread;
  • a woman with short grey hair, funky specs, culottes & a great striped oversized cotton pussy-bow shirt;
  • a woman in a pleated pleather skirt that actually looked really good (I stick to leather & suede usually); &
  • a woman with amazing long white curly hair, wearing a biker jacket & boots, & armfuls of silver bangles - & her matching Si King lookalike partner!

But generally it was just people, in clothes - & I was much more interested in talking to people, not scrutinising them! Whereas these S&B threads are all about scrutinising ... in great & obsessive detail at times! So it made me think - yet again, about the essential silliness of all this! Silly - but fun, & if it's not fun to you then ignore it. Lots of people do.

So if YOU still like the Gabor shoes (despite this thread), then please wear them & don't worry - you will look lovely & you won't do your ankle in!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · Yesterday 17:32

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 17:27

I agree with @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie - just because I & a few other random but equally opinionated women on here think they're a bit sensible, doesn't mean that you have to listen! Ditto with @ihaveafavouritecat & her orders!

If I saw you wearing the Florere dress with the Gabor shoes IRL I probably wouldn't even notice them, or if I did then I would think they're perfectly ok.

I was thinking of this thread at the Cumbrian ceilidh at the weekend, where pretty much everyone was dressed for comfort (& warmth, it being a village hall on a very stormy night!). The reality is that I notice clothes/outfits that I really like (often not for myself but because that person wears it so well/has a great look that is very much their own). And also sometimes I notice clothes/outfits that I really dislike.

At the ceilidh I noticed (outfit-wise):

  • the woman in the jumpsuit with the gold heeled boots, because of this thread;
  • a woman with short grey hair, funky specs, culottes & a great striped oversized cotton pussy-bow shirt;
  • a woman in a pleated pleather skirt that actually looked really good (I stick to leather & suede usually); &
  • a woman with amazing long white curly hair, wearing a biker jacket & boots, & armfuls of silver bangles - & her matching Si King lookalike partner!

But generally it was just people, in clothes - & I was much more interested in talking to people, not scrutinising them! Whereas these S&B threads are all about scrutinising ... in great & obsessive detail at times! So it made me think - yet again, about the essential silliness of all this! Silly - but fun, & if it's not fun to you then ignore it. Lots of people do.

So if YOU still like the Gabor shoes (despite this thread), then please wear them & don't worry - you will look lovely & you won't do your ankle in!

This is a really lovely post - and certainly puts things into perspective a bit.

PS I ‘might’ have a bit of a thing for Si King.

MumzSuki · Yesterday 17:37

@EleanorMc67 thanks; I’m going to have to try on the dress and consider my options.
I’m actually quite grateful that footwear has been highlighted in this thread. I spend hours choosing outfits but tend to neglect accessories; it’s really made me think about what’s fashionable/ sensible/ comfortable; the whole lot!
Thanks again for focusing on the Air&Grace flats; they could be a lifesaver once the dancing starts!

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 17:39

ihaveafavouritecat · Yesterday 13:07

Sounds like you’re all feeling as exasperated with me, as I am with the shoe search itself. Sorry about that. Please don’t stick around unless you really want to. I have really welcomed your encouragement and help, but I have felt a bit battered by some of the recent criticism: Stupid OP choosing such dull and dreary brands, high fashion brands, out of date styles, going round in circles, rejecting all our recommendations, etc.

I got back from travels late last night. I have a bunch of shoes/boots on order, yet to arrive, but from your comments above, it sounds like you all already largely feel I’m making the wrong selections. I should say that all the shoes/boots ordered, only came across my line of vision because PP on here recommended and shared them: Jones, Gabor, Kurt Geiger, etc. So let’s see. I’m utterly ground down with this bit! As you say, just trying to choose a couple of pairs of shoes and or boots… I had no idea! Omg. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Oh and btw, I’m not for one minute considering Esska. I think they’re expensive and ugly - but I was trying to be tactful and was too polite to be quite so direct to the PP who keenly recommended them, so I just made a jokey response.

Now that I’m back in the UK, I can at least try a few things on, with the dress and jumpsuit, and decide what works for me. That’s probably better than panic ordering from Greece, something I like the look of, that only has one pair left in my size…

I'm sorry we've made you feel like this, OP ... the longer this (second!) thread has gone on, the more we've become like a sack of squabbling kittens!!

But if any of us (so seemingly certain in our own style choices!!) posted on S&B for advice, I can guarantee that we would end up with heads completely buzzing with confusion at all the conflicting advice! I know I would ... & that's why I'd never post on here for advice on my own outfits! I ask my sister (similar taste & body shape), &/or my partner (good visual skills). Not my best friend (completely different taste!) - & definitely not anyone on the S&B board! So please commend yourself OP - as you are MUCH braver than I am! I'm just an opinionated would-be stylist with a liking for Dries Van Noten & a vintage clothing habit!

Fiddlesticks1 · Yesterday 17:39

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 16:01

Just posting this quickly as they've just come up in my feed - Russell & Bromley size 6 slingbacks, soft gold (but not too pale/champagne-toned), leather, only worn once - & look at the price! I would pounce on these, @ihaveafavouritecat !!!! Even if they don't suit (& I think they will), you'll be able to sell them again for the same price at least.

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/10544862886-russell-and-bromley

Look lovely but what’s going on with the sole?

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 17:40

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · Yesterday 17:32

This is a really lovely post - and certainly puts things into perspective a bit.

PS I ‘might’ have a bit of a thing for Si King.

Oh me too - he's adorable! I loved The Hairy Bikers - such lovely men ...

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 17:42

Fiddlesticks1 · Yesterday 17:39

Look lovely but what’s going on with the sole?

Not sure what you mean? Maybe the remains of the plastic protector?

Irrelevant now anyway, as they're sold ... 😐

EleanorMc67 · Yesterday 17:48

MumzSuki · Yesterday 17:37

@EleanorMc67 thanks; I’m going to have to try on the dress and consider my options.
I’m actually quite grateful that footwear has been highlighted in this thread. I spend hours choosing outfits but tend to neglect accessories; it’s really made me think about what’s fashionable/ sensible/ comfortable; the whole lot!
Thanks again for focusing on the Air&Grace flats; they could be a lifesaver once the dancing starts!

That's ok! It's good to have a little rethink every so often, IMO, as it's easy to get a bit complacent/lazy/disinterested, especially as one gets older (I think). And I know uncertainty has entered into the equation more than usual for me, since menopause/weight-gain/hair colour fading etc etc.

I have someone else on S&B to thank for originally posting those flats, ages ago! So I'm glad to pass it down the line ...

Swipe left for the next trending thread