Page 3 | Mother of the Groom: get me to the finish line!

ihaveafavouritecat · 2026-10-22T07:56:02+00:00

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5584730-mother-of-the-groom-in-8-weeks?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share Previous thread]] For you lovely, crazy folk who have followed along, incredibly we need another thread.

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 12:08

owlpassport · 23/10/2026 09:42

I don't disagree with any of that, but are they (the shoes) fine? Will OP look nice in them and be comfortable in her own skin, and everyone will think they're unobjectionable and appropriate? IMO yes, and at this point I think that's what she needs. It might not be what you or I would choose to wear, but the dress and jumpsuit are very nice and neutral minimal accessories will let them shine.

I think @minnowonthesay is right that OP has option/decision paralysis. OP did like the hard shell bags on thread 1 so the tortoiseshell might be a winner.

@ihaveafavouritecat What you're aiming for is for your bag and shoes to complement your dress and jewellery, but not match (as per the bedroom furniture example in previous thread). What you've got there is shiny gold jewellery, shiny gold shoes and a shiny gold bag. I hope that explains why some of us are saying it's not quite right.

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Agree with all that - it's up to the OP now, really!

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 12:19

HappyNewt · 23/10/2026 09:49

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/10493534984-lulu-guinness-ladies-gold-heels-size-6?referrer=catalog

I think that you should actually just set aside some time to go and try shoes on in various shops until you find what you are comfortable in and want to wear.....
but these were in my feed today.....
probably too high..but kind of stunning!

Edited

Funnily enough, they were in my Vinted feed too! Do you think that half the nation has a Vinted feed full of gold size 6 heels???!!!

minnowonthesay · 23/10/2026 12:37

Interestingly on the website it says 85mm heel @EleanorMc67which is 3 inches? I agree though, I wasn’t going to post them as they looked high!

HappyNewt · 23/10/2026 12:47

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 12:19

Funnily enough, they were in my Vinted feed too! Do you think that half the nation has a Vinted feed full of gold size 6 heels???!!!

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😂Funny how we are all getting a view on a whole new world of stuff - mostly thanks to you I think - thanks!!

I will have to learn to stand/walk in them.....but I just purchased them!!!! they winked at me too much I am afraid....

I attempted to purchase the Block heel velvet sling backs from Debenhams that you posted ages ago - I ordered them in black...but...they send me some totally different 'granny shoes' and I am still awaiting a refund! and it is a bit sad how 'frumpy' a lot of shoes look at the moment.

I do have back up shoes already but I am half looking for some different ones to wear for my own wedding in Jan. I have a great full black skirt and a lovely white blouse. I won't blur this post by adding pics of my outfit...but I have been half watching for some alternative shoes to jazz up what I wear. My 'do' is all inside same venue, so I can play around with shoes that I wouldn't normally wear - and change easily as we are all staying in the venue too...
Luckily it also means I have no need for a jacket or coat and could get away with a bag I already have/no bag....phew as I am not a great 'shopper'.

I can always relist them if they are a nightmare to wear or just look too crazy and at £30 it is no great loss... and I could always get the velvet sling backs...

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 12:51

minnowonthesay · 23/10/2026 12:37

Interestingly on the website it says 85mm heel @EleanorMc67which is 3 inches? I agree though, I wasn’t going to post them as they looked high!

Yikes! Years since I wore a heel that height - I used to be able to run in them!

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ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 12:58

Nylonflares · 22/10/2026 19:53

I say go I with the boots!

love them

Edited

Trying to keep up with some of your more recent messages…
Yup @NylonflaresI was tempted by the boots too, (for the jumpsuit only, not the dress). But when I tracked down where DH found them, it was on one of those crappy websites where everything is far too cheap to be credible. Maybe not those then, and maybe not for the wedding, but maybe one day, me and gold boots will have a thing together 🙃

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Original poster

ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 13:02

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 22/10/2026 15:44

Yes, i think these are better than the wide fit ones.
I did like the slingbacks with the petal(?) on them, they were lovely...

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Thanks @Woodfiresareamazing2 I thought they were better because they appeared to be a paler more muted shade of gold and thus a better blend with the gold cuff. Don’t think anyone agrees with me on that though.
I wasn’t over keen on the Next ones with the ‘petal’ motif - it looked a bit like a large, gold, dead fly to me!

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RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 23/10/2026 13:07

Just seen these H&M ones. Only good for indoors but thought they might work with the jumpsuit. I think the toe is maybe a bit too round but I like them in profile.
https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1339779001.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=mkt_gb%7Cmpl_google%7Clng_eng%7Catc_activity%7City_generic%7Cobj_omni-sales%7Ccpt_shopping%7Cdct_women%7Cmi_gbgu06gp3aa5%7Cftx_competitors&utm_term=&hier_id=go_cmp-12828904706_adg-120373698886_ad-517818111585_pla-362029177407_dev-m_ext-_prd-1339779001008_sig-EAIaIQobChMIvoKGvIzQlwMVh5lQBh25PyTREAQYCCABEgLyF_D_BwE&utm_source=Google&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12828904706&gbraid=0AAAAADvrmzQlpoYPrd1-4fnEDeY4nbc-K&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvoKGvIzQlwMVh5lQBh25PyTREAQYCCABEgLyF_D_BwE

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ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 13:10

owlpassport · 22/10/2026 23:34

Too matchy matchy. You have gold in the jewellery so you can have a gold bag OR gold shoes. Not both, or it's too much. What about shoes like these - https://aldoshoes.co.uk/products/alicieaa-brown-14520119 with a gold bag?

What happened to the shoes you ordered from M&S? I think you maybe need to stop browsing and decide what does and doesn't work from what you've already looked at.

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Thanks. The M+S shoes await me back in UK, I’m still away in Greece currently, back late Sunday. They were olive/khaki as I recall, so only for the jumpsuit potentially. Haven’t forgotten them though!
Yup fair comment from you and other PPs though. When I’m back, I will go and do some trying on in store, and try and break the deadlock here - decision paralysis did you call it? I could have probably achieved this sooner if I’d been in the UK!

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Original poster

ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 13:25

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 03:04

No, not when you see them unstaged in Vinted/eBay photos ...

I liked the shape originally, but they're plastic. And the issue with fake leather that's really smooth like this is that it looks shinier & more obviously fake & - more than anything else - cheap.

I say this as, the more I looked at new & eBay/Vinted options, the more depressed I became at the thought of you wearing plastic shoes with your gorgeous dress & jumpsuit ... I don't have an issue with velvet or satin (unless they're cheap-looking fabrics). And some of the crackle finish & other finishes that aren't super-smooth look okay(ish) in fake leather. But I don't think these fake leather ones stand up to scrutiny when you look at this seller's photos?

Not too bad - apart from the seam on the inside of the heel.
Plastic-not-fantastic - that's not a nice underside view!
& 4) The heels are the worst. Shiny & cheap-looking.

Okay, so they're reduced to £36 from £45 (for plastic! 🙀). And the shape is contemporary. But Vinted is FULL of near-identical synthetic gold slingback shoes - I know, as I've trawled through them! And it's a bit rubbish that all these cheap shoes are being bought, worn once & then ditched.

If you don't want to spend too much on something you won't wear again, then I think buying second-hand is (morally!) best. Or, buy a lovely pair (or two) that you will wear again. Which would probably be bronze or chocolate or teal or khaki/olive (or a combination)?

I think you can do better! Now I have to deliver some suitable alternatives, don't I ...?!!

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Thanks @EleanorMc67. Yup, I don’t really want to wear nasty cheap plastic shoes to my son’s wedding or anywhere else, would much prefer leather, and also open to suede, or velvet or satin.

So in summary:

I’m still searching for a pair of:

fairly quiet (so as not to detract from dress)
low/minimal shine (to speak to my gold cuff)
moderate heel (preferably block, for comfort and stability)
gold shoes
under £100

to go with teal dress.
I don’t think that’s decision paralysis actually, it’s more that what I’m looking for is proving very difficult to find…
I haven’t given up looking yet though, and also feel reasonably confident that I’ll know it when I find it.

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Original poster

ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 13:37

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 04:10

Jones, £89 - real leather!!! But there's something quite frumpy dowdy boring about them ...?

https://www.jonesbootmaker.com/products/yohanna-leather-court-shoes-yohanna-325-144-gold

Yup, it’s something to do with the broader straps isn’t it? We have Jones in Bath though I might see how they look on…

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ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 13:49

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 04:58

So those three above - Zara, Air & Grace, & Cerene - are my three favourites if you definitely want to buy new from the physical/online retailer.

But I've also found some great options on Vinted/eBay/Vestiaire Collective - if you're willing to buy from a re-sale platform ...

Thank you @EleanorMc67for incredible perseverance in the shoe quest, you have far more stamina than me.

I’m sorry to say that none of your three faves are doing much for me…

Zara shoes feel a bit shiny and bright, and I feel the heel is blunt and ugly, if I’m honest

Air and Grace just too expensive and I hate the T-bar strap style.

Cerene has another dead locust thing draped across the front, and the heel is so low I just don’t feel that it will give me any height at all, and the dress is already barely going to show more than ankle and foot. With those shoes it will be trailing in the floor I think. Olive satin ones are very pretty colour though.

Sorry!

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EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 13:52

ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 13:49

Thank you @EleanorMc67for incredible perseverance in the shoe quest, you have far more stamina than me.

I’m sorry to say that none of your three faves are doing much for me…

Zara shoes feel a bit shiny and bright, and I feel the heel is blunt and ugly, if I’m honest

Air and Grace just too expensive and I hate the T-bar strap style.

Cerene has another dead locust thing draped across the front, and the heel is so low I just don’t feel that it will give me any height at all, and the dress is already barely going to show more than ankle and foot. With those shoes it will be trailing in the floor I think. Olive satin ones are very pretty colour though.

Sorry!

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That's okay - we all have our own preferences! And now you've made it much clearer what you don't like, I can hopefully find something you do! Higher (but not too high), no T-bars, & no giant dead flies ... 😁!!!

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ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 13:57

minnowonthesay · 23/10/2026 05:48

What time roughly is the wedding @ihaveafavouritecat? If it’s daytime, I’m not sure in Winter light some of those cheaper gold shoes will look right. I still think I’d go for the brown shoes (I like the gold detail on the M & S leather ones below) with the teal dress and the black satin Mango ones with the jumpsuit.
You have never worn gold shoes, I wouldn’t start at the wedding, it’s not you. If it means the cuff can’t be worn, then so be it - the ring and earrings would still look good though. The cuff can then be worn with the jumpsuit and get plain pale textured gold earrings to match it?

@minnowonthesay the wedding starts at 1pm.
im not yet persuaded to switch to brown shoes and I would like to wear the cuff. I plan to wear it with the jumpsuit too. Plain textured gold earrings with the jumpsuit sounds great too thank you. Can you remind me of the Mango black satin shoes you’d recommend for jumpsuit? Thanks ☺️

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Original poster

ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 14:00

Nylonflares · 23/10/2026 07:18

I’d pop in to new look and river island and m &s and try some on

As long as they don’t look cheap I don’t think it matters about materials or longevity, they just need to do you through an couple of days

Thank you @Nylonflares I do quite like the look of these gold ones… like the spice colour too but sticking to gold for my search still! Think I will try and find these to try online or instore. Like that they have a bit of detail to them, and a bit more of a heel…

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Original poster

ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 14:05

HappyNewt · 23/10/2026 12:47

😂Funny how we are all getting a view on a whole new world of stuff - mostly thanks to you I think - thanks!!

I will have to learn to stand/walk in them.....but I just purchased them!!!! they winked at me too much I am afraid....

I attempted to purchase the Block heel velvet sling backs from Debenhams that you posted ages ago - I ordered them in black...but...they send me some totally different 'granny shoes' and I am still awaiting a refund! and it is a bit sad how 'frumpy' a lot of shoes look at the moment.

I do have back up shoes already but I am half looking for some different ones to wear for my own wedding in Jan. I have a great full black skirt and a lovely white blouse. I won't blur this post by adding pics of my outfit...but I have been half watching for some alternative shoes to jazz up what I wear. My 'do' is all inside same venue, so I can play around with shoes that I wouldn't normally wear - and change easily as we are all staying in the venue too...
Luckily it also means I have no need for a jacket or coat and could get away with a bag I already have/no bag....phew as I am not a great 'shopper'.

I can always relist them if they are a nightmare to wear or just look too crazy and at £30 it is no great loss... and I could always get the velvet sling backs...

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That’s great @HappyNewt glad you’ve found something for your wedding too!

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EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 14:07

@ihaveafavouritecat Is there a reason why you don't want to wear the gold shoes with the jumpsuit too? Do you want a different pair for each day?

Do you plan to have a black bag then too - as I agree with (I think) @ruthietuthie (who seems to have disappeared?) that just black shoes on their own would look like a bit of a lazy default ...

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 23/10/2026 14:10

Another total curve ball, but I’m strangely drawn to these grey suede shoes. Maybe with a grey satin embroidered clutch?
https://www.next.co.uk/style/sv020793/y37600?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22747670858&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UUrPy4_3TJ_DK8kRjDzs-lH_&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjfi12prQlwMVqlBBAh3FcTTaEAQYASABEgKfVPD_BwE#y37600

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ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 14:13

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 14:07

@ihaveafavouritecat Is there a reason why you don't want to wear the gold shoes with the jumpsuit too? Do you want a different pair for each day?

Do you plan to have a black bag then too - as I agree with (I think) @ruthietuthie (who seems to have disappeared?) that just black shoes on their own would look like a bit of a lazy default ...

I would happily use gold bag and shoes for both outfits if they look right .

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EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 14:23

These Phase 8 ones are leather, a soft gold, & the V at the front gives them a little more interest. Reduced & in budget too. Not in your size though ...

https://www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-pointed-kitten-heel-court-shoes-gold/p113792181

Mother of the Groom: get me to the finish line!

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 14:26

... but here they are, in a 6, on eBay ... they look more silvery but are gold, & are the same ones. That's why I said not to go entirely on photos - especially if in cold daylight (like these) or warm artificial light.

https://ebay.io/m/lrP2eS

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 14:47

I like these ones - Faith soft gold leather, with a bit of interest at the front. Decent heel height & in good condition - the heels don't look marked, but you could ask for extra photos. And reduced to £9 so might be worth ordering anyway if you like them?

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/9380200727-gold-leather-slingback-heels

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ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 14:51

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 23/10/2026 14:10

Another total curve ball, but I’m strangely drawn to these grey suede shoes. Maybe with a grey satin embroidered clutch?
https://www.next.co.uk/style/sv020793/y37600?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22747670858&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UUrPy4_3TJ_DK8kRjDzs-lH_&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjfi12prQlwMVqlBBAh3FcTTaEAQYASABEgKfVPD_BwE#y37600

Nice shape @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie I like that shape a lot! And would go for brown not grey, but I need gold 😕

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Original poster

ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 14:56

EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 14:23

These Phase 8 ones are leather, a soft gold, & the V at the front gives them a little more interest. Reduced & in budget too. Not in your size though ...

https://www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-pointed-kitten-heel-court-shoes-gold/p113792181

The 1 star review suggests that they turned out to not be leather after all… but gosh yes, very much look silver on eBay don’t they? Ok yes will keep in mind when trying to find ‘quiet’ muted gold…

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EleanorMc67 · 23/10/2026 14:56

ihaveafavouritecat · 23/10/2026 14:56

The 1 star review suggests that they turned out to not be leather after all… but gosh yes, very much look silver on eBay don’t they? Ok yes will keep in mind when trying to find ‘quiet’ muted gold…

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Oh, how annoying!!!