Where to find an affordable full-length evening dress for a military event

[EveningDressSuggestionsPlease]

I have just had an invite to a military 'do' at the start of November. I need to find an evening dress (has to meet mess dress standards so must be full length, must cover the shoulders, can't be hugely low cut/ high split). I'm 55 5'10 size 16 (thanks unshiftable menopause weight) hour glass/ big bust (so no high necks) and suit jewel colours.

I've found a few options on vinted but I would like to buy somewhere physical or online with easy returns so I can try a few options to see which looks/feels best. Budget is as low as possible (so I'm guessing I will end up on vinted after all) but is there anywhere I should look for a dress or jumpsuit that fits the brief and won't break the bank? My confidence is at a low so I want something that makes me feel a special as it will be a big night for DH and I'd like to look presentable.

TK Maxx can be good for posh occasion clothes. It is entirely random so you have to keep looking and pop in regularly but I’ve had some great things from there.

Lots of folk hire outfits for one of occasions.. especially formal evening wear.

Which price range, OP?

There are quite a few options on Next. You could do a click and collect, try on there and then, and return what tou don’t like.
Same for John Lewis.

https://www.debenhams.com/product/coast-cape-sleeve-maxi-dressbcc09767?colour=lilac&size=16

It comes in several colours, including dark teal and black.

Ideally as little as possible- DHs 'retirement' and we aren't sure where we will be financially going forward as we aren't really in a position to live off my salary/his pension long term so he will be look for a civvy job.

Try JJ’s House. They have a huge range so you should find something you like. You can order up to six (I think) “try-on” options for a small fee rather than going through the costly palaver of buying them and then returning them.

I hate men telling women how to dress

That would be more expensive than I am hoping for with no ability to get any money back. At least if I buy I can resell.

Debenhams online, e.g. this one

It's military dress code, the men will have rules for dress to adhere to too. If you don't like following orders the military probably isn't for you

@EveningDressSuggestionsPlease

Which colours do you look your best in, OP?

To be fair everyone is being told how to dress - those in the forces will be in uniform and male partners will have to meet fairly tight criteria too.

Jewels colours are best on me I love purple, jade and ruby red. Pale colours and black wash me out.

I like the teal but it's probably too high of neck for me.

Hit up the charity shops. I've had several ball dresses out of there including Chi Chi London and Lipsy which I've worn to military dos.

FYI to the PP about the dress code - the same code also applied to the women serving in the military. Men have a separate code and mess undress is significantly more constraining and work than a posh frock. I can wear sandals, DH would have to spend hours bulling his shoes for a start 😂.

Best wedding present he got actually - and ex RM Sgt Major bulled his shoes for our wedding day. He spent weeks on it.

Have you looked at Scarlett and Jo? Dresses around £100 but you can probably sell on for around £50 with one wear. My best friend is blessed in terms of bust and has some of their dresses and looks great.

https://www.scarlettandjo.com/collections/plus-size-occasion-dresses/products/elizabeth-dark-green-velvet-maxi-gown

https://www.scarlettandjo.com/products/isabelle-rose-yellow-float-sleeve-maxi-dress

What time of year as that will affect fabric choice

Monsoon? Something like this https://www.monsoon.co.uk/emily-short-sleeve-tulle-bridesmaid-dress-green-20004000078.html

Is this one too low cut, OP?

https://www.johnlewis.com/ghost-arabella-empire-line-satin-maxi-dress/emerald/p114776519

Green velvet with a-line skirt and long sleeves

Early November. I used to have a few lovely mess dress dresses, a fantastic amethyst velvet one, a silver/black sequined one and a burgundy satin but I couldn't get a let into them these days.

What about a dress agency?

And the other dress which didn’t post …

Boat neck with cap sleeves and lace back in violet

Whilst some really don’t meet the dress code, Club L is a good shout.
Lots of different styles, affordable and some great colour ways too.
clubllondon.com/collections/black-tie/products/umaira-burgundy-high-neck-maxi-dress-cl137014069

Probably not but I doubt my 36Gs would fit in there!