Where to find an affordable full-length evening dress for a military event

[EveningDressSuggestionsPlease]

I have just had an invite to a military 'do' at the start of November. I need to find an evening dress (has to meet mess dress standards so must be full length, must cover the shoulders, can't be hugely low cut/ high split). I'm 55 5'10 size 16 (thanks unshiftable menopause weight) hour glass/ big bust (so no high necks) and suit jewel colours.

I've found a few options on vinted but I would like to buy somewhere physical or online with easy returns so I can try a few options to see which looks/feels best. Budget is as low as possible (so I'm guessing I will end up on vinted after all) but is there anywhere I should look for a dress or jumpsuit that fits the brief and won't break the bank? My confidence is at a low so I want something that makes me feel a special as it will be a big night for DH and I'd like to look presentable.

Sorry you did say November in your OP.
That wintery I would go velvet, either emerald green or a red wine colour

Have a look at Brand Alley online - that's always my first stop for occasion clothes. I've found some lovely evening dresses, from both high end high street and designer names at very discounted prices. www.brandalley.com

They might, if you were fitted for a great bra!

I think that you would look stunning, given your height.

That is too high of neck for me - I would look all boob. So far on a quick skim nothing there looks particularly forgiving for a fat 50 something. But I'll plough through to see if there is anything a little more flattering to the large of chest, saggy of belly.

A couple here

https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/pq152

https://www.roman.co.uk/metallic-plisse-bodycon-maxi-dress-14676285

www.next.co.uk/style/su721541/h26857#h26857

I have good bras but there doesn't look to be much room in the cups. My problem is high cuts make me look mega matronally, shaped cups rarely offer enough space for large boobs and low cut flash a bit too much flesh. That why I'd like to be able to try on rather than buy secondhand and be stuck with something unflattering.

You sound really very unkind to yourself.
I am menopausal and have piled on the timber - and am bigger than you but not as tall.
i think with the right support you have tons of vavavoom.
how about this:
clubllondon.com/products/deema-black-jersey-and-mesh-high-neck-maxi-dress-cl136998002?variant=55694733803893&currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=google%2Bshopping&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23148500531&gbraid=0AAAAADCHewIAdmWOqXKIoFA54Y8muNQdg&gclid=Cj0KCQjwv4XUBhDBARIsAE6bQUTioYiIC1v415iCfUhD9pkNLC74Yj1A4XbwYbUzVAoXMhPl5FCYL7AaAtdPEALw_wcB

See also Goddiva

Would this pass the shoulders covered test, OP?

https://www.johnlewis.com/adrianna-papell-studio-beaded-flutter-blouson-dress-olive-gold/p115322854

20 something or even 30 something me would have loved that if it came in a rich burgundy but I wouldn't dare go for anything that clingy these days.

I'm never quite sure how covered covered is but I'm not sure how that colour or style would work on me.

I have a wide strapped navy dress with a bit of stretch that was from bravissimo back when they did clothes that’s been to many mess dinners, I have a wrap for my shoulders

This is my favourite so far - especially in the red as it's half price!

@EveningDressSuggestionsPlease

Something I think is worth taking into account is how warm it can get at a military dinner.

It's a while since I attended one, but, if I went to one now, I would want a dress in which I still felt fresh and cool after a few hours, so something with mid length sleeves and in a fabric which wasn't too heavy.

I miss their clothes I think one of my old mess dresses was by them.

Kaleidoscope

Big old drafty room - last time I was there I was still pre HRT and in hot flush territory and don't recall overheating

I’d expect that male partners of female military personnel have to follow a dress code for formal occasions too.

Is this too short?

www.coastfashion.com/product/coast-3d-corsage-structured-satin-maxi-dress_bcc12276?colour=berry&size=16

I think it too shouldery.

If you really love it, OP, consider snapping it up now.

It looks as though it is from the summer collection and so reduced in price to clear the rails for the autumn/winter ranges due in in September.

I think the plan is to order the monsoon one linked by DancingCactus (but in red) and if that doesn't fit to hit TX Maxx and possibly Boundary Mill if still no joy it will be a Next order then if all else fails lots of asking for exact measurements on Vinted. Thanks for all the suggestions.

I think this could be flattering on you:

https://www.ever-pretty.co.uk/products/ever-naveya-a-line-short-sleeve-tulle-evening-dress-with-sequin-embellishments-final-sale-ee02223?variant=48241737695419.

And it’s £30!

If you see a dress you like which is strapless, are you permitted to wear a caplet to cover your shoulders? I’ve seen some very pretty ones.

@DrUptonsGardenGnome that £50 is a bargain! And gorgeous too

Oxfam Bridal. Most have prom and evening wear section. Most of the dresses are ex display do have never been worn

Former military wife here.

Like a pp, I was going to suggest that you target old fashioned charity shops such as those attached to hospices in well-heeled areas, as that is where I have had successes before. However, like me op, you are tall and larger busted so the items that fit may be limited.

Can you wear black op? It’s always a safe bet if your confidence is low and you can add colour with with a bright lipstick and jewellery.

I’m afraid I can’t link but if you go in to the Next on-line app and search for “Live Unlimited black velvet dress” a number of choices will come up, some of which are in the sale. The one I was thinking of is a wrap dress with long sleeves. It’s quite classic.

The other advantage of black is that you may already have the shoes/bag/tights required and if not, they are easy to beg or borrow. And black will look good alongside your dh’s mess dress. Well it definitely won’t clash anyway!

Good luck and hope you have a wonderful evening when the time comes.