Where to find an affordable full-length evening dress for a military event

[EveningDressSuggestionsPlease]

I have just had an invite to a military 'do' at the start of November. I need to find an evening dress (has to meet mess dress standards so must be full length, must cover the shoulders, can't be hugely low cut/ high split). I'm 55 5'10 size 16 (thanks unshiftable menopause weight) hour glass/ big bust (so no high necks) and suit jewel colours.

I've found a few options on vinted but I would like to buy somewhere physical or online with easy returns so I can try a few options to see which looks/feels best. Budget is as low as possible (so I'm guessing I will end up on vinted after all) but is there anywhere I should look for a dress or jumpsuit that fits the brief and won't break the bank? My confidence is at a low so I want something that makes me feel a special as it will be a big night for DH and I'd like to look presentable.

Another suggestion, have you thought of Long Tall Sally? They do a twist front midi dress in a sort of garnet colour. Their dresses are very reasonably priced but sometimes I find that the cut and fabrics are not that great. But worth a look maybe?

And finally, even though you are only a size 16 op, you may find that high street plus size shops are worth investigating as their cut will be more forgiving on the bust and the fuller cut and extra fabric tends to hang a bit longer on a standard size and it’s easier to have a larger dress tweaked and taken in than vice versa if it needs adjusting on the bust. HTH anyway.

A little bit random but have a look on Amazon. Lots of budget evening and bridesmaid dresses on there.

A friend had a lovely evening gown from Temu at a ball i went to recently... if you dont mind fast fashion and the ethical concerns.

Ever Pretty has lots of choice and good size ranges although I have never ordered from there so no idea on quality

Hope you find something that makes you feel fabulous x

I also recommend checking out some charity shops. Especially as time is on your side. I got a fab dress for an investiture from one and then splashed out on some fabulous brand new accessories to go with it. Good luck.

You could trawl though Ebay/Vestaire. Some good finds, especially if you are a smaller size, as people tend to grow out of stuff, & evening styles have a long shelf life with dress usually seeing little wear....apart from a possible wine spill to check for!

Gosh. I shouldn't be surprised by S&B threads any more, really - but some of these suggestions are quite depressing ...

OP - I'm about the same height & size as you, also large of bust, & four years older. I appreciate that the conventional requirements of a military function will restrict your choices a little - as will keeping costs as low as possible. But please - there's no need to resort to Roman, JJ's House or, god forbid, Shein or Temu!

Of all the suggestions, the one that looks best is the teal Ghost one. It's simple & striking & doesn't look like a danger next to candles (most of the others look as if they might combust spontaneously ....!). Ghost viscose satin & crèpe are the brand's signature fabrics & are good-quality semi-synthetics with weight & fluidity. That dress mightn't work, bust-wise - but it's worth looking at some others.

Charity shops & Vinted/eBay etc, great in theory, but you'll need to be extremely lucky to find the right dress in the former, & the latter options are, as you say OP, a bit risky in this instance.

However, buying from Vinted/eBay will offer you the opportunity to find something beautiful, which was originally much more costly than any of the suggestions above, maybe even in silk or another high-quality fabric. I would suggest checking out certain brands in the flesh to see if they are generally long enough, generously cut in the bust etc. Some brands - eg Ghost, Rixo (which appear on secondhand platforms frequently) do new versions of the same dress every year - so if you try some on in-store/by ordering online, it will allow you to be much more targeted in your search, & minimise the risk factor.

So that would be my own preference in your situation, OP. Does it have to be a dress btw - or could it be a matching top & wide trousers in silk/satin/velvet?

Having said all that about the benefits of buying on Vinted/eBay re quality, here's a brand new dress that might possibly work. Comes in several jewel colours (burgundy/deep blue/deep green), is recycled polyester satin (that is apparently quite weighty & matte & good quality according to the reviews) - & comes in a longer length so that it will be floor-length on you?

It's also slightly 70s kaftan-like, in its cut, without being at all tent-like - & the sleeves are dramatic & elegant. Although it comes up to the collarbone, the twists & drapery would carry the eye away from the bust in a way that fitted satin wouldn't. All depends on whether it looks like a £46 dress in the flesh though ... it might well do so, though reviewers said it looks much more expensive. So might be worth a try if you like the look of it?

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su819458/h57859

You mentioned jumpsuits. This isn't - it's a two piece - but worn together the shirt & trousers look like a jumpsuit to me. Well-reduced in the sale, in your size, & Jigsaw is cut for women on the taller side, I find. It's much more elegant than most of the dresses posted, IMO at least!!

https://www.jigsaw-online.com/products/recycled-satin-pleated-top-blue

Do you have an Oxfam near you? Some of them do bridal/occasion wear. Ours is huge and my DD and 3 of her friends got their prom dresses from there.,

No pictures of it on, but it comes in larger sizes & a longer length. Worth checking out perhaps?

https://www.abercrombie.com/shop/uk/p/long-sleeve-hardware-maxi-dress-62219830-1005

This, btw, is a full-length photo of the Jigsaw two-piece. I would bet that if you wanted to sell it afterwards, this would be snapped up a million times faster than anything from JJ's House - Vinted & eBay seem to be stuffed to the gills with dresses from similar brands, & they never seem to shift quickly.

It might even be worth looking at "modest" ranges like this one, stocked by John Lewis. Not that I think middle-aged or older women should feel the need to cover up - I just like long dramatic sleeves & semi-kaftan shapes!

This also comes in a longer length, & you'd be either a medium or large. No idea of the quality in the flesh, but worth a look perhaps?

https://www.johnlewis.com/aab-wide-sleeve-satin-maxi-dress-blue-mid/p115095261

More than you want to spend probably, but this is floor-length on the 5' 9" model, goes up to an 18, & is quite well-reduced.

https://raishma.co.uk/products/frankie-dress?variant=55411728318840

This is a fiendishly clever dress design. You can get a dozen very different styles out of it! I'd need an instruction booklet; it takes me an hour to arrange a scarf (so I rarely wear one) but this would be worth the repeated effort, even for someone like me.

The basic cut would suit your embonpoint, and they show two versions with covered shoulders. The fabric doesn't look all that sleek, though reviewers say it feels good and hangs well. It comes in tall sizes!

£72 https://www.next.co.uk/style/su458419/h17536

My favourite would have to be the Ever Pretty dress for £30. The red sparkle would be so worthwhile I reckon. Have fun Op sorting your dress out. If this was me though and love my bargains I would go to a charity shop. Luckily I live near a town where the ladies drop off their posh wedding guest dresses to the local charity shops. One time I was in one of the charity shops and DH got a splendid suit for himself. This was a good few years ago and if he had got it new it would have been expensive. I would also look at Vinted and eBay as you can always ask the seller questions .If you like a dress after seeing it I would also suggest buy it as the dress could soon get sold. Are you going to tell us all what dress you bought in the end.

Monsoon was always my go to for formal dresses. We had an outlet nearby so could often get them cheaper.

I was just thinking if you have not had a bra measurement done for some time Bravissimo are the best I reckon and then you could sort out lovely underwear and your accessories.

I can’t attach link but I’m a military wife and have spent a small fortune on dresses- I am a similar size to you . The one that has been the best value has been a floral wrap kimono style dress for summer events. They do one in green sequin and it’s in the sale.

This is petite, maxi sparkly teal Roman

That is beautiful but OP is 5'1. As a short woman myself, I know we have to be so careful with loose fabric or we end up looking like children dressing up in adult's clothes. Those sleeves are just too much .

Serin Plus-Size Navy Blue Winter Elegant Formal Evening Wedding Dress,Sequined Embroidered Sheer Long Sleeve Ruching Slim Mermaid Mother Of The Bride Gown
I discovered amazing products on SHEIN.com, come check them out!
https://onelink.shein.com/48/5z4rqklmmf57?shc=2RpwMbhZ3Vc4

I always get my regimental dinner dresses here

Where has OP said this?

She’s 5 foot 10

At 5'10 I'm very much not petite!

Well I supposed both the king and chief of staff are men but on the flip side DHs CO and the person organising the event are female.

I don't mind the rules at all I only listed them because otherwise I would have had loads of short dresses, strapless ones etc suggested. As it is there lots of really lovely, but totally not for me high necked suggestions.

I really don't want to go down the Chinese drop ship route. A it's an ethical mine field B it's a lottery on fit and they are rarely cut to fit the larger bust C there is unlikely to be a sell on value.