Why doesn’t she want me as a client?

[notamumyet2010]

This is such a first world problem, I’m almost embarrassed to speak about it but it’s really playing on my mind so I would love some opinions.
For years, I’ve been seeing a beautician for nail art. She was amazing, really talented and I thought we got on really well. I knew she also worked from home and after a couple of years I asked if she was looking for some home clients and she said no not at the moment due to time/space. Fair enough. I thought.
Anyway start of this year, she lost her job, it was very sudden as the place went under. She messaged me telling me what happened and I expressed empathy. After a week or so I saw on social media she was telling people to message her if they want to book in with her at home. Straight away I sent her a message and she responded saying she was just waiting for some materials to arrive and she would message me to let me know once she was up and running. I saw again on her socials she was seeing clients. I waited for a message and nothing. I was super confused as I really thought we got on well and I was a regular client. I left it for a while thinking she was probably getting things sorted, and it takes a while I’m sure. Well it’s been months now and I thought hell I’m going to send her one more message. So I texted asking how she is and is she taking more clients on. She said yes and she’s working hard including at a local spa. No mention of me booking in with her. I was like ok this is odd, decided to be brave and ask outright. “Can I book with you?, only I never heard from you” I get a strange message back saying she would be willing to do my nails but is fully booked till September!
I feel like for some reason she certainly doesn’t want me as a client, I have racked my brains for a reason and the only one I can think of is I ask for nail art every time which takes more time. However she did always say she loves it as she gets to be creative and all her other clients are boring. In fact she called me her favourite client.
Obviously sadly you guys will be no wiser as to why this has happened or what I’ve done, but my question is…..would you book in for September or just accept that for whatever reason this client/beautician relationship has ended?
It’s such a shame as she really is sooo talented but I just feel this has probably tainted the relationship now anyway.
Thanks for reading if you got this far!

I understand your disappointment, you're a client, bring money, and perhaps feel not valued at this stage, and wonder why.

But as a self employed myself, I know sometimes things change and you'd prefer a different type of customer, in my case I raised my fees up to double, only work with high end clientele, and when old customers contact me I feel embarrassed and even upset to turn them down simply because I prefer another type of client. But as sad as it seems, I need to make choices for my best interest, unfortunately I respond personally of any wrong choice I'd make as I don't have an employer.
I know these who were my favourite would possibly hate me for this, but it's business, either for me and for them.
I can't be emotional.

My suspicion is that she's possibly really busy and thriving and your type of job would take her too many hours, letting down say 5 clients of infills that would become someone else's clients if she prefers you, even if you pay the right figure. These type of clients are recurring and make a steady income. Just guessing..

Having said that, like boyfriends or friends, sometimes people reject us for their own reasons, in that case the next best thing to do is bringing your precious money and time where your custom is valued, with no regrets.

Have a look at reviews and I'm sure you'll find a suitable replacement of someone who doesn't deserve your money, time and stress of posting here.

Good luck x

I feel like the boundaries between you got a bit blurred, also she refers to money matters indirectly, expecting you to pick up hints and what remained unsaid.

When she said her boss at the salon told her she needed to charge more for nail art, that was an indirect cue for you. She was hinting that you could / should pay more. Or even to acknowledge "let me know if I need to pay more, I don't want to get you in trouble!". But you didn't take the hint, so she probably took that to mean you had no interest in paying the uplift for nail art.

Now she's working for herself, she's not going to willingly do herself out of money like that. Would she rather earn £42 in two hours doing nail art on you, or would she choose to earn £84 in that same two hours giving basic manicures to two other clients who might tip as well? It's a no brainer businesswise.

Also, I think most self employed people would prefer small regular tips rather than £100 at birthdays and Christmas. £5/£10 each visit feels like you're acknowledging and appreciating her professional work. A big cash gift on birthday and christmas feels way more personal and could make people feel uncomfortable and indebted. It's the same amount of money overall, just the vibe is different.

If you still want to see her I'd take the suggestions above to book for September, ask for her new price list including nail art and mention that obviously you know prices will have risen. Be breezy! Tip a small amount each visit, maybe give her a bottle of something at christmas, but no more big presents. This is a business relationship and you want to get back on professional footing as a client and provider. If she cancels on you in September then you'll know she doesn't want you as a client anymore and you'll have to find someone else.

Yes, you should be embarrassed.

Someone on likely a low salary, who I have known for years, offers to put herself at risk by keeping from her boss that she’s not fully charging me? I wouldn’t hesitate to thank her but say entirely unnecessary.

@notamumyet2010 seems to have nodded and said “yes please!!!!”

Little update for those of you who have been kind. All booked in for September. Asked her outright (nicely) if she would rather not take me on due to the extra time and her words were “I would much rather do your nails than other people’s as we get on so well and I know how much you appreciate my work and I love the challenge. Plus I’ve missed catching up with you”
I don’t know why she didn’t send me a message like she said she would, but I do understand that maybe I was too worried about pestering to chase her up so that part is on me.
For those of you who have been slightly less than kind, with the greatest respect, you haven’t been there. You didn’t hear how she said about the charging. I don’t think she was hinting at all, and I think she was grateful for the cash gift as Christmas so I will carry on with that as it works well for me.
For those who think I’m obsessed and that’s it strange I care so much about a beauty treatment, I would say there are worst things I could be obsessed with. Me having nice nails doesn’t hurt anyone and makes me feel good about myself. Don’t think I’m hurting anyone.
Thanks to those of you who were nice, and I don’t just mean those that agreed I was in the right, the reason I posted was for different opinions. Though I did forget how harsh people can be anonymous behind a screen! Guess it’s easy to be brave when it’s not face to face!

If only you’d sent that message before spending the entire day arguing about it on mumsnet.

Yes, it was very obvious that she was just busy. At least to majority of us.

and if she offers to not charge you for full time … for pity sake don’t accept and say you are more than happy to pay in full

I don’t know why she didn’t send me a message like she said she would

busy!!

It's hardly unkind to suggest you should correctly pay someone for their time and work

I think Op referring to the many posts saying this is weird and obsessive.

Hardly abusive. And that’s what many of us thought - that it is weird and obsessive. OP knew this was a possibility as even in op says she’s almost too embarrassed to post.

Good luck. I posted she probably just got booked up quicker than she thought. It takes time to start a new business and she was probably quite stressed. Also, a lot of people are just here to be mean and get too oersonal, so just ignore.

Well that’s that sorted then.

At the end of the day you did post a thread on a public forum asking why she doesn’t want you as her client.

Many people have contributed and given possible reasons. Some of those reasons were correct. Some people were not. But you did come on here and ask, then proceeded to argue with people when they suggested a range of possibilities that you didn’t like.

As pp has said, if only you had just messaged the woman in the first place instead of coming on here to write a thread about it, then it would have been sorted out much sooner.

Don’t feel I argued with anyone? Just answered the questions. On this thread I’ve been called a lesbian, stalker, tight, millionaire, crazy, odd, weird, smelly, obsessive to name just a few things, mainly by the same couple of posters.
Also does everyone not feel I have probably already sent a message to her, I just wanted to get some ideas from others.

Oh don’t exaggerate
the poster didn’t call you smelly
to quote Do you smell? My friend had to stop seeing a client because she stunk so bad her clients after her would comment on it.

And yes to many of this the thread did seem “weird” “obsessive” “odd”

and yes, accepting someone in a low paid job taking a risk by offering you a cut rate did strike many of us as “tight”

It's nice to think you have a special relationship with your hairdresser/beautician. I have been going to the same salon for years and really like my hairdresser and beautician. But, at the end of the day, you are a customer like everyone else. They don't have favourites. Just get someone else.

I certainly don't think that. You are probably feeling a bit hurt.

I read you got an appointment. Good.

Well this was the most bonkers thread I’ve read in a while. Mumsnet at its finest 😂

Well off you pop then. I wouldn't want to waste any money with that kind of attitude.

Glad you got a good outcome OP. Hopefully you've already clarified that you will pay her the full going rate for a 2 hour nail art appointment.

Glad you are booked in

is she charging you more than the shop ?

and come Sept add your nails as I’m entrigued what kinds of stuff she does for nail art

I’ve only read OPs replies but yes I agree that it’s coming across as taking advantage/CF/tight territory to expect extra services worth effectively a couple of 100s per year for free for six years.

I will give you a very good tip in that people who are self employed in the beauty world always get a good tip from me and this often pays out. If needs be they can usually fit me in ,I always get excellent service. Why not give a tip at next appointment and you might become one of the person's favourite customers..

And to risk her job.

You clearly love a bit of drama but I think this is over now. Nobody called you those words.