Child's graduation but seeing (stbex)H so need something drop-dead gorgeous but elegant and wont make me look like mutton.

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

It's a really nice shape, isn't it? And I do think darker or patterned fabrics will be more flattering in the chest area - plus it has a notched neckline which helps.

@ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers - have you ever tried minimiser bras? Was just reading this article as I'm quite curious myself.

https://www.womanandhome.com/fashion/best-minimiser-bras/

I wouldn't recommend a minimizer for formal wear as they typically flatten down and to the sides. This shortens the waist and has a rounder, more casual look. I don't mind this in look general though, and minimizers have gotten better over the years.

Love this - some great suggestions on this thread.

Not read all of the replies, so apologies if it has been suggested. Have you considered hiring an outfit from a place that 'hires out' clothing for mothers of the bride type places? I understand that they can help with finding you the right fit/colour etc and make you look classy and not over/under dressed for such an occasion.

I'd assume that not having those make it more difficult for the OP to find clothes that fit well.

Minimiser bras are awful @EleanorMc67, give a really unpleasant sort of widened out look 😂

Much better to do as a pp said and get them up and at ‘em in a good lifting bra with side support

A v neck deffo, a professionally fitted bra/ underwear ( once you have the dress) 3/4 sleeve, empire line with ballet pumps/ kitten heels and a pretty bracelet.

I’m saving all your suggestions. As a petite with big boobs these dresses all tick my box

This is a stunning outfit, @EleanorMc67 Might steal it for Royal Ascot.

Gosh - fancy enough for that? Thank you! It's just a rough idea (the shoes are probably a bit too bright a red), but if you order the dress & jacket & they go together, the rest is just playing around with accessories.

Speaking of accessories, Accessorise has got some great little handbags in right now - reminds of when it was really good in the 80s/90s! Some very cute multicoloured ones that can be used to tie together different colours in an outfit.

I really like the bright floral one I linked earlier, but lots of others. The strawberry one! I didn't know I had a thing about strawberries - but I do now!

https://www.accessorize.com/uk/strawberry-beaded-crossbody-bag-1000996338.html

Ah, ok. Thanks for that (and @Bigcat25 too). I've never tried them but was wondering if they'd somehow work miracles, as I think I've gone up a cup size - again ... 😬!!

These single-colour beaded ones from Accessorise are all very cute too. Very good takes on 30s/50s/60s-style originals.

Oh, to be able to afford this: https://www.reiss.com/style/sv045897/y46553

Luckily (for my budget) they are sold out in my size!

It's lovely - but I hope that you weren't thinking of it for your daughter's graduation!

I agree with this! Much as you want to give your ex the middle finger, focus on this being your daughter's day. Go for "I don't give a fuck" effortless glamour rather than something sexy/try-hard that may make your daughter uncomfortable (I would not have wanted my mum to wear that to my graduation!)

I just spotted this, OP - & as your original (now deleted!) dress was pale yellow I wondered if something like this would work?

https://www.marksandspencer.com/textured-pleated-midaxi-skirt/p/clp60779071?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

Or this set? The trousers come in petite.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/tailored-strappy-cropped-waistcoat-with-linen/p/clp60784681?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

I also love this: https://www.karenmillen.com/product/karen-millen-rib-knit-military-trim-maxi-dress_bkk19741?colour=cream&utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_campaign=%7Bcampaign%7D&utm_adgroup=%7Badgroup%7D&utm_term=&utm_device=c&utm_content=&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23822218458&gbraid=0AAAAACo7BY-Ydi3QxskbEJeIAwbpQgbI8&gclid=CjwKCAjw8arQBhB9EiwAfIKdQrguaXudnWcPPpb9kxh6FUdb8gXx3Mpn5cKPH_MpdSCgn-f5RWypGhoCLjcQAvD_BwE but am scared of the colour!

Glad to be of help! What's good about bias-cut with big boobs is that it sort of adjusts to your size. So if you need to go up a size (or even two) to fit your boobs in without squashing them down, the lower part of the dress may not need to be altered (unlike more fitted/waisted dresses).

It's a nice dress OP - but if ever there was a dress made for the tall & flat-chested, that's it!

It's off-white so will enlarge the appearance of your chest, & the gold buttons on top of your boobs will just draw further attention to them?

It's also knitted - very unforgiving to any bumps - & a maxi length, which as it's knitted can't be taken up!

@EleanorMc67 I'm good at choosing stuff for flat chested people!

So why not say I’ve got large or curvy bum and boobs?

Me too! in my head I'm still a 34B ... that was a very long time ago!!!

@Coconutter24 Weirdly until he made that statement I'd always thought that I hadn't got a particularly large bum! But it doesn't stop the key thing from this being that I look elegant and classy, definitely NOT sexy.