Child's graduation but seeing (stbex)H so need something drop-dead gorgeous but elegant and wont make me look like mutton.

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

Nothing will make a human being look like a farm animal. What sexist drivel. Not you OP. Just the saying!

I do love that yellow dress but as a PP says, it’s not really one for your daughter’s graduation.

You have an incredible figure but that dress isn’t showing it to the full extent as there is so much going on - the dropped waist AND the shoulder thing (which looks like it should be lower perhaps) are a bit busy with the pleating.

I have the same size bra as you and I love Nobody’s Child dresses, they are so flattering and have loads of movement. If you like pastel this one in green is nice, although with your hair it looks like you might look good in bolder colours.

I saw this and thought perfect! Unfortunately it looked absolutely awful on me.

You have a great figure but the yellow dress isn’t the kind of thing for a graduation.

As previous people had said, you need a dress cut for a petite shape. I have big boobs too and appreciate how difficult it can be to dress them! A wrap dress always works well.

I appreciate that this will be a difficult day for you but speaking as a child of divorced parents, my graduation day was totally ruined by my mother who refused to speak to my father (she was the one that had the affair!). Please dress elegantly and smile and nod for your daughter. Listen to her about your choice of clothes and don’t give her any reason to worry about her parents behaviour on her graduation day.

This is elegant?

https://www.wolfandbadger.com/uk/frankie-dress/

It looks a bit cheap but you have a fab figure and could get something so much nicer. Definitely go classy. Next have loads online from loads of brands.

This has a widow’s weeds vibe 😆
https://www.wolfandbadger.com/uk/trumpet-dress-flared-sleeve-knit-lace-sheer-tie-dress-black/

@ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers

I like dresses like this one, OP.

https://www.johnlewis.com/hobbs-petite-petra-shift-dress-navy/p115001086#ratings-reviews-section

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn has given the best advice possible from her experience, as did the poster upstream who said dress for your DD not ex.

The yellow dress is great on you but it’s not the right one for this occasion, the blue one you tried above is a great holiday dress but too short for parent at a graduation. Trying to look sexier than ex’s new partner or make this chump feel regret is not a competition to enter.

I’d say a nice neutral/dark dress or silk blouse that makes your boobs look great, high-waisted wide legged trousers, strappy sandles, head up high, tell your DD you’re proud of her and love her and wait until you are clear of building to inhale some white wine. I hope your divorce gets sorted quickly; it does get a lot easier I promise.

I think you’ll stick out like a sore thumb if you try too hard. Having been to graduations before, it’s really not a fashion show. People just dress like smart grown-ups and the attention is on the graduates, as it should be.

Speaking as the daughter of a narc mother who always tried to be the focus of any event, and had no idea of how inappropriate she looked, please don’t wear that dress to her graduation. I would be mortified, too.

For a party or other occasion, maybe, but not on her special day. Don’t dress for your ex. Dress appropriately and elegantly. You’re there to support your daughter, nothing more.

The dress isn’t right for a graduation but it does look amazing!

100% this. The day is about the daughter, not about a look-at-me mum.

That is unfair to the daughter and just embarrassing.

That yellow dress looks banging on you and you should definitely keep it, but it’s wrong for the occasion.

Absolutely this. I still have a photograph of my wedding day, where she’s desperately, drunkenly, trying to crash our first dance, and my brother is quite literally tugging her back. Every time I look at it, I remember how she spoilt every family occasion, be it a wedding, baptism, even a funeral, with her antics. We could never relax.

The dress is too yellow for the mother of a graduate. You want to give off unbothered class/sex appeal rather than grabbing attention.

I would look for something fitted or not too flouncy in plain or monochrome black, dark green, cream, burgundy or navy. Something with a nice cut or unusual neckline. I'll try to find something.

I was also here to say Katya Wildman, but have you considered Scarlett & Jo, they do a petite range and you can order into Next or JL to try on. Under budget, they fit my 32H boobs! Lovely and easy to wear and don’t crease.

I don't think it's too much / too dressy etc because of the time of year. Wear it, you look fabulous x

No to the yellow dress, it’s more beachwear. I’d opt for more structured and v neck /cross over as suits larger chests.

id crawl down a street with lots of higher end charity shops (think a nice area) and just see what is around, pepperberry (now discontinued) had amazing dresses in super curvy that would fit well.

What about something from the Shortlist? Very small, indie brand which caters specifically to shorter women. Slightly above budget but worth a look?

https://theshortlistshop.co.uk/collections/dresses

When my DD graduated her DF and I had tickets. On the way there I got splashed by a passing car going through a massive puddle and looked like a drowned rat! When we all met outside the venue he thought it was hilarious, she told him not to be such a dick then ignored him the rest of the day.
I told him to fuck off. Not my finest moment 🤣

Just to follow up on what I meant by a trouser suit - I think when attending a graduation, you want the focus to be on dd and she sees you as a capable, powerful woman who raised her, so focus on that, rather than "sexy stylish woman who is better than the OW".

So for outfit I'd think "job interview" rather than "wedding guest" and that might help you reframe it.

So I would say wear a strong colour as they always look best (jewel tones) but if you are worried about standing out too much change the material to linen or cotton.

Nothing more attractive than a women who holds her head high, smiles and looks relaxed.

Get your hair, nails and makeup done. This can be natural but will make you feel polished.

Wear a bit of a heel if possible. Good luck.

You look amazing in that yellow dress but it is more the kind of dress you wear to your own graduation, not someone else's. It's very 'Look at me.'

Your boobs look fantastic in it, though. From your description, I thought they might make you look dumpier than you are, as big boobs can do that. But they don't.

I'd go for something like the Nobody's Child Satin Allura Dress - it's stylish and sexy, fitted under the chest so it will give you shape. It is a bit revealing though, so you might want a lace vest underneath. Then spend the rest of the money on really good heels that you can walk in.