Child's graduation but seeing (stbex)H so need something drop-dead gorgeous but elegant and wont make me look like mutton.

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

Ghost has lots of empire line dresses or bias cut without waist band / detail

https://www.ghost.co.uk/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=637255106&gbraid=0AAAAADnMJoZT-DCYydVO_OygD0fOQMwSJ&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjc3Ow7vAlAMV6plQBh1vDzJJEAAYASAAEgIupvD_BwE

and they do big reductions in the sale

https://www.ghost.co.uk/sale/dresses#?viewAll=true

I haven’t been to a graduation in years and struggling to recall from my own, but will it be assigned seats? Will you have to sit near him? Anyway! Good luck xx

I do think this dress is a really nice shape.

@ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers - it also comes in deep blue. Plus there might be some other things you like, if you go directly to the Raishma site? Though as a PP mentioned, stay clear of anything too Oriental ...! The founder is British Asian but she takes inspiration from various Eastern cultures.

https://raishma.co.uk/products/frankie-navy-dress

Ha! I like your thinking ... maybe accessorised with some dead flowers ...

This one?

It might well be nice as evening wear, but it's both bright & shiny (as well as low cut). If you go bright, don't wear shiny satin to a graduation. And it possibly won't sit well either as it's bias cut - see how it's all puckered down one side because of how she's standing?

Order it to see what it's like on - & if it's nice, wear it for a night out & dinner & drinks with friends instead!

https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/layla-midi-dress-2614606001?_gl=113043r9_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzqXQBhD2ARIsAKrIeU9b2o4gAeof0ynUUVDJiazT6wp6bTth8oghgKCGe94EyMIz6xMkRGsaApSTEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&gbraid=0AAAAADQCJIUQ-50XUMobUIBYQDsOt1cR0

Just here to give you a hug. Go get properly measured and buy the best bra you can. My friend is 32GG, she dresses so well but puts it all down to the underwear.

Enjoy your daughter's day, then go home to a massive G&T.

Hello. I’ve got massive norks and I’m mother of the bride next month. I had a right headache finding a dress as my ex is going to be there. He left me for someone else so I get how you’re feeling. I bought a dress from Hobbs. They take blue light discount there and I found the fit amazing. But they are not cheap. I bought a long green flowing dress and it was £140 odd pound with a blue light discount. They are good for bigger boobs.

The green one from Hobbs has a more Roland Mouret cut across the boobs (he has a very good way with flattering and lifting boobs while not making them too in-your-face).

I think you're naturally veering towards shiny/short/tight, OP, as those are the kinds of thing you like wearing? But I think you should go a little less obvious than shiny or cleavage-y etc on this particular occasion? You could try the green one with accessories like these?

https://www.johnlewis.com/hobbs-sally-contrast-trim-jacket-navy-ivory/p113808341

Or (which I prefer) more cream with a wee bit of navy. This bag (New Look!) would be perfect! And the little jacket from H&M is a bargain.

https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1323148003.html

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/accessories/bags/stone-woven-wicker-crossbody-bag-with-scarf/p/946659416

https://aldoshoes.co.uk/products/delicat-open-navy-14344606

https://prya.co.uk/products/ana-eye-huggie-earrings

I thought it was just me couldn’t find it 😅

Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum!

Why is this information relevant to you needing a dress?

Have you looked in M&S ? They have a good petite range and I’m sure you will find something understated and chic in there. I’m sure you will do your daughter proud on the the day. And don’t give another thought to your stbex and his Thai takeaway.

Is there a John Lewis nearby you can do a free personal stylist appointment? I haven't used them but have used Debenhams before they closed(sob) and they were fantastic. I'd anything get a good day out and try different options

@ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers I’m sure you’ll look great in whatever you choose to wear. You sound jolly with a good sense of humour which means you smile a lot which is always attractive. Your ex sounds like an asshole so it doesn’t matter what he thinks. Make sure after a few drinks you don’t end up reminiscing and turning this graduation into a version of the film ‘It’s Complicated’ starring Meryl Streep!

Because she can't help comparing herself to the woman that her husband left her for?

They do seem to go straight from rather wedding-y out-of-budget Hobbs etc to tiered cotton smock dresses.

But these are all petite ones available from M&S that I think would suit?

@ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers Have you tried on any dresses that are ruched/elasticated over the bust? As long as the neck is quite low not high, I think this can be quite flattering, as they contain the bust then go straight in at your waist? The first polka dot one & the black one are ruched.

I think the first one in particular (slightly Empire Line) could look cute & smart (& would go with the cream scalloped H&M jacket linked above, & the New Look bag).

Hi @ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers - not sure if anything at all I've posted has taken your fancy at all re colours/shapes etc! If so, do say as otherwise I'm just going down the wrong track I assume?

@EleanorMc67 I'm not sure the dress will work because typically those styles have not suited my body but I bloody love the jackets the rest of the styling and it's made me rethink - thank you 😘

@EleanorMc67 I'm also currently hunting down the navy polka dot dress. Not sure for two reasons, I often hate ruched across the bust because I end up feeling like I've got an enormous mono boob and secondly because I'm not keen on midi styles. That said, normal midi styles are actually maxi dresses for me.

The green Hobbs one? Ok. At least I've hit on something you like!!! Although, why not try it just to see??? As I think it being a stretch fabric might make it more flattering than you think? It's why Mouret's Galaxy dress was such a success with (& looked better on, IMO) the larger of bust!!

I was also going to say, re separates OP, that you don't even need a matching top & skirt/trousers. You might even have something in your wardrobe already that you can base an outfit on - a jacket or skirt that you love?

Something like this?

Forgot to post links!

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su900137/g83780
https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1309636001.html
https://www.next.co.uk/style/su895287/v23403
https://www.next.co.uk/style/su933725/al5558
https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1323148002.html

It's this Nobody's Child one. But it's on loads of other sites too. Just do a Google image search & they'll all come up - M&S, JL, ASOS, Next etc etc. https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/charlotte-midi-dress-2614695002

My sister & I are both big-boobed, & she avoided them initially for the same reason. But if they're cut quite low across the chest, they can work surprisingly well! Again, it's always a case of trying things on, as just a centimetre either way can make such a difference between good & bad!!!

It’s still irrelevant information though.

OP is GG. I am H. I understand totally why this is so relevant!

firstly well done, I am from a divorce and it was torrid, I’d hate to have to still see him after he done something similar.
Ok, let’s get you in your “A Game”.
firstly I would go to John Lewis and go in store and speak to them for advice, they are good. Failing that NEXT have a good petite range, online is better as stores only stock a section of their range. Even have a cheeky look on Vinted and Google / AI a good dress idea.

If you can get your hair done in the morning and look around for a little fascinator or pearl clip. Get to a make up stand and ask for help with a good primer and foundation, MAC staff are good or Boots.
Then a blast of a blooming good perfume, if needed ask to borrow a friends and knock them all out of the park.
if anyone asks if you have a partner yet, say no I don’t need a man I’m quite happy as I am.

Lastly, and this is the most important, walk around with your head held high like you own every piece of the land you walk on. Exude that confident air.