Child's graduation but seeing (stbex)H so need something drop-dead gorgeous but elegant and wont make me look like mutton.

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

You haven't linked your dress.

You're petite, and I think you'd be better to go for an outfit specifically for 5ft 3 women and under. The entire outfit will be cut better to suit your frame. Yes, a dress can be altered to make the length shorter, but it doesn't alter the top part, which might fall way too low, due to it being cut for a taller body.

My Mum is like you, 5ft, has no waist and big busted. She tends to opt for separates, rather than a dress, as they sit better on her.

You haven’t linked your dress so hard to judge but my advice to to obviously look your best but don’t try and look overtly sexy because sexy isn’t a graduation vibe and it will be obvious you’re dressing to impress this horrible man. Better to look stylish and nonchalant for the mofo.

Wide legged trousers and a silk blouse? This says “I have my life back together and I’m looking good without needing your attention” a bit more than a tight dress (if that was what you linked).

You don’t mention wrap dresses - I wonder if they might suit your shape. Something like this? https://www.phase-eight.com/product/petite-marilyn-puff-sleeve-midi-dress-22220165014

(Also I’m sorry OP, I know the nausea that comes from having to tolerate this scenario.)

I'd go for a trouser suit for the reason Tangerine said. Smart, professional and academic looking.

See yourself in your dd's eyes, not your ex's. His view of you is so irrelevant. Only your dd's view of you matters on her graduation day, not his.

Something like this?

https://www.karenmillen.com/product/karen-millen-petite-viscose-satin-v-neck-long-sleeve-woven-midi-dress_bkk27574?colour=raspberry&size=10

Or this?

https://www.tedbaker.com/en-gb/products/leesaa-mid-blue

I am the same shape as you and generally google skater dresses. Separates don’t really work for me.

Good luck ❤️

With massive boobs and petite I’d look at Katya Wildman. Most of those dresses ARE higher than £150 budget especially if you look at her evening wear but I see them up on Vinted and eBay at a far more reasonable price (her first brand was bombshell HQ) they have an extra bit of stretch hidden in the torso for the bigger boob

I'll try with the dress again!

I wore a dress last year that was a similar shape to the phase eight dress linked by @TangerineUnicorn. I’m also short with big boobs. I need a V neck or l look like Matron from the Carry on Films.

This was the one I wore although it’s last years so sold out but the shape was great.

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/agnes-floral-puff-sleeve-midi-dress-pink-20002290146.html

I’d also consider really good underwear that doesn’t have your breasts pointing down. Rigby and Peller are great, but expensive and branches are limited. Braforme do various styles and companies. Side support bras are good at reducing spillage and getting everything pointing in the right direction.

Graduations for my DC tended to be very casual.

3rd attempt:

@TangerineUnicorn Unfortunately whilst your line "Better to look stylish and nonchalant for the mofo." is absolutely what I'm going to go for I thought it better to say my heart. You're right though. A wow is what I'm looking to feel and look!

The dress you've linked wouldn't work. Anything that cuts around my waist doesn't work (I've spent the last 40+ years trying). It's not that I don't have a waist, I do (albeit not as much pre-menopause), it's more than my breasts rule my body cos they're so big.

@sprigatito Oh I love that dress but am not sure I'm couragous enough to wear satin. Worth a go!

You look great OP.

All the same I think it isn’t quite the right dress for a graduation. I love the red phase eight one linked.

do you have any decent second stores nearby. I got amazing bargains, but you just have to get lucky.

I love that dress actually - really bright and happy and I think it looks nice on you so. I wonder you felt good in it. No advice about what to wear but did want to tell you that it was a good choice x x

What about the blue one sprigiato linked to?

You're not kidding over price. The issue is that the waisted look worries me. I'd want to try on before buying and you can't do that with Vinted and Ebay. Nevertheless I'll look out for the name. Thank you.

The yellow dress is fab and not ‘mutton’ at all. It’s maybe not quite right for a graduation I suppose but I hope you will wear it elsewhere.

Love the dress but not really for the mother of a graduate IMO. I love that phase 8 one above

I don’t think that’s the right dress for a graduation. Looking good in front of your ex is one thing (totally get that) but this day is not about you. Whilst you don’t need to be invisible, elegant but understated is the way to go.
I like the idea of trousers and a nice blouse. No bright colours.

Keep that dress! It’s gorgeous. Do you like patterns or prefer a single colour?

Hope & Ivy do some fab wrap dresses, which are always flattering

https://hopeandivy.co.uk/collections/shop-all/products/the-yasmine

You look great in the yellow dress - I agree with DD it’s a little too lively for graduation parent style.

You sound like you’ve got your priorities very clear in putting the kids first, just forget him. You go high while he goes low.

You will have lots of great times in the future when he is nowhere near - keep the yellow dress and wear it!