Child's graduation but seeing (stbex)H so need something drop-dead gorgeous but elegant and wont make me look like mutton.

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

You have a fantastic figure, OP. I don't think the yellow one is a good choice. I wouldn't wear the berry coloured dress shown either as that's a winter colour.

I would try to look as nonchalant as possible and would wear something understated and elegant. Try to ignore him on the day - there will be plenty of women there that you can chat to.

Monsoon have some lovely dresses, I wore the navy Joanna dress from there recently and got a lot of compliments. Also try, Next and Whistles.
I’d say though for what your aiming to achieve from this meeting, practice trying to control your nervous system.. Don’t let him realise that you feel nervous in anyway, you want to be confident, happy and completely unfazed.. That’ll have a bigger impact than anything you wear, is she going to be there, have you met her yet?

I don’t think you’re that big chested tbh.

you don’t look out of proportion in the dress you have posted. I’m not keen on the colour, but you have a good figure so I’d imagine a lot of stuff would suit you.

could you go into John Lewis for a personal shopping experience?

Scarlet and Jo do nice v neck midi length dresses. Includes a great bra hold and so comfortable.

These dresses look lovely and I particularly like the last one - Phase8

The yellow is not suitable, ditto the short black one. Each would make the opposite point to the image you want.

Plenty of PP have suggested appropriate plain dresses with sleeves.

You are an important person this event simply by existing. You have nothing to prove and imo should go for an elegant, classy and overall contented look.

But I still wouldn’t wear it to someone else’s graduation. It shouts look at me.

You have a fantastic figure! But your best asset on this day will be that you successfully raised this man’s four children and especially this daughter who’s getting her msc. Move beyond the tits and bum thinking. He owes you respect. Dress for that respect.

I’m also 5’3” with big boobs, you have my sympathy!
Have you looked at Phase Eight Petite range? I love their jumpsuits and they have a special offer on atm.
something like this?
Lots of colours available
https://www.phase-eight.com/product/petite-kallie-jumpuit-10015570785.html

Thank you to everyone who have said things to boost my confidence. There are some amazing dresses and I've just ordered a couple to try.

I think this is better than the others - they are trying too hard in my opinion and risk falling into mutton / made an effort category. You want to look like you don’t give a s**t but great and I would channel your inner Joan Collins ( aka Alexis Colby Carrington) and get something that is also practical, and comfortable for graduation, because it might rain, be cold, be on grass etc. It’s a shame power dressing suits are no longer in fashion because they could be stylish, sexy because the wearer looked so confident. Good luck on your search.

Also a massive thank you because I've now got loads of new brands to try. Really pleased.

You've got a lovely figure. Definitely a lot to work with there!

Why are dresses so long these days? Many of the ones linked are beautiful but are also between mid-calf and ankle on the models, who tend to be tall. I think these long lengths add frump to what would otherwise be lovely dresses. For example, the pale-blue sleeveless one would be lovely if the skirt was an inch or two below the knee. I do hate it when something comes into fashion and suddenly 50-70 percent of what's available is that thing.

OP, you have an absolutely stunning figure. Curves galore! There's so much you can do with a shape like that. Good luck!

Do NOT miss your daughter’s graduation. Does the university make you sit together or can you go in separately and sit away from him?

I’m 57 and slim but 5 1 in height. Bought a wolf and badger dress for my daughters graduation and it’s my favourite occasions dress.
Please order it and see how you feel, you maybe surprised.

Loads of options from Sosandar, I like these:

https://www.sosandar.com/navy-blue-textured-zip-front-shirt-dress

https://www.sosandar.com/navy-blue-spot-print-sleeveless-midi-shirt-dress

Come back & let us know what you decide on

Has your daughter asked the university for tickets so you aren’t seated together with your ex? I have worked in a university and this was a fairly common request in your circumstances.

I salute your consideration of your daughter’s needs and hope it all works out. I wish my own divorced parents had been even half as thoughtful.

Yes, I hadn't noticed that in the opening post. It's a horrible expression and horrible way of thinking.

It's simply a short form of the well-known expression "mutton dressed as lamb," meaning dressing too young for your age.

OP, I love satin, but for a daytime event I'd be careful as it can look very shiny & (especially in certain colours) potentially a bit cheap & nasty. That's not to say it won't be ok - just that a good-quality semi-matte satin would be best. That way it'll look lustrous rather than like a Quality Street wrapper ...!!

Did I miss where you said what dress size you are?

I know. It's vile.

No it’s not it’s spot on. You wouldn’t cook and serve mutton the same as lamb would you, it would be awful. You cook mutton differently and cooked properly it’s delicious. Being honest is better than being nice. OP wants to reclaim her dignity and has bad memories of previous encounter. (although she should hold her head up high and be proud that she fought for her relationship and gave it everything) She needs to look as though she had moved on and is celebrating her daughter’s achievements, not look at me trying too to make exH regret his decision, it’s all all about her, on daughter’s graduation day.