Child's graduation but seeing (stbex)H so need something drop-dead gorgeous but elegant and wont make me look like mutton.

[ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers]

BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

You're being deliberately obtuse. (And she did say that. She also gave context. Which was relevant to how she is feeling.)

Which bit that the OP mentioned do you object to particularly?

• Small boobs & bum (thin-privileged/anti-fat bias);
• Thai (racist); or
• Much younger (ageist)???

Maybe she's none of those things & is just ... very upset at her shitty ex???

I’m not sure the breakdown you’ve done is relevant either 🤷‍♀️ haven’t suggested OP is any of those things, I just didn’t see the relevance of it being pointed out.

Oh for goodness' sake, we all know the ex's new lady fits a stereotype - don't bore us by implying that the OP including these details is an unnecessarily irrelevance, and try and stick to the thread.

I hope it goes well. I'll also have to see my ex h at our child's graduation this summer having not seen him for two years and not likely to see him again but I just want it over with.

This is why I struggle with empire line
boobs look great but I look like I’m in the Darling Buds of may, a tudor romp, or some sort of buxom milkmaid 😂

Barbara Windsor made an entire career out of those kinds of roles ...!!

I tried them for job interviews to try and look less “buxom” as somehow that made me feel less professional
tragic and ridiculous I know. My boobs look awful in them, squishes out the side

For a graduation? Unless the world has changed enormously in the 8 years since I was at one you will look ridiculous in that. It's way OTT, and not a day dress.

The information about the new woman being Thai was unnecessary.

Agreed.

@PhaedraTwo I don't think it was. He's following a cliche that is awful!!!! I wish he'd just bought a Porsche or Harley Davidson instead.

All of this.
Very best of luck OP, I really hope you feel fabulous at the grad.

I am far too invested in this thread (I’m a similar shape and just generally wishing you well) so when I popped into Next earlier to collect an online order I saw some lovely linen trouser suits and thought of you! Please let us know what you eventually decide on 💕

Is she Victoria Beckham???

@LateFiesta Glad to have company. Yes I will but it's mid July so ages away. I didn't think this thread would take off. Foolish me! I don't normally hang around the "style and beauty" threads etc. I can count the number of times I've had my nails done on both hands (I am middle aged ish). But I am now committed to being glamorous and chic rather than hot and sexy. If we went back to my daughter's undergraduate graduation I was looking for chic and glamorous then and absolutely nailed it. Not sure where I lost my way but am back on track thanks to everyone on here especially @EleanorMc67 who has gone the extra mile. She's (or He's) not always nailed the precise outfit, but OMG I've now got a lot of things to put together. My Next/M&S/John Lewis/Phase Eight etc orders are through the roof. BUT, everyone who has contributed to this positively - thank you. Yes I said some negative things about myself and my situation, but at 56 (almost 57) I've been far too trained into that way of thinking. Thankfully most of my hangups have not been passed down to my 4 kids.

@ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers hasn’t this been such a nice warm hearted thread?! As others have said, please update with a picture of the outfit you eventually choose! And hope you have a brilliant time when the day comes 💐

I'm another late 50s female, OP! Glad to have helped you to at least have a good think about your overall look & maybe try a few different things.

And you can always try some of your options on & post a few photos here - if you're feeling brave! 😁

Thanks for this - I have ordered this dress for my daughters graduation- so hopefully we won’t bump into each other 🤣

I'd go for something elegant like a silk blouse and trouser suit, your daughter is the focus here not you