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Child's graduation but seeing (stbex)H so need something drop-dead gorgeous but elegant and wont make me look like mutton.

244 replies

ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers · 16/05/2026 11:19

BACK STORY - ONLY READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED - It's my daughter's graduation (MSc) in July. The last time I officially saw my (stbex)H was almost 2 years ago at her BSc graduation which fell exactly a month after him informing me that he no longer loved me and was leaving me after 33 years together (26 married) for a much younger Thai lady with smaller boobs, and a smaller bum! (Purely for a historical correctness I did see him month later for the same daughter's 21st where, unfortunately, I begged him to reconsider)😳😥. When I got home I swore I
a) would never do that again (and haven't)
b) wouldn't see him again - unreasonable cos of our kids but have insisted on it so far!

It's now DD2's second graduation. She has 3 tickets. I've said that unfortunately whilst I am definitely getting there I'm still not ready to go through that again. Equally, despite both of us trying really hard, she really felt the tension at her first graduation and doesn't want to have to go through that again either.

I've backed out and said to let her father have the day (he works in Iraq - though obviously not at the moment) so she doesn't get to see him that often and I am doing my best to accommodate etc and actually we've reached a point where we co-parent via text really well (So I do the bulk but he occasionally steps in - but having been the child of divorced parents I have reinforced, to our kids, that they must have time with their father and that both of us love them). But she wants us both. So instead I've suggested that she spend the day with him and I will sneak in and watch her graduate. She's agreed to this. BUT this IS NOT AN AIBU - I am getting there but am frustrated at how slow this all is - I was really. blindsided by it all. It doesn't help that we're still not divorced (he's fighting everything) and thus I'm still in limbo hell.

READ FROM HERE FOR HELPING ME FIND AN OUTFIT.
I need something that makes me believe I look like a million pounds. I will be 57 on the day and am 5ft 3 with a very short torso (so no outfits that are belted around the waist as they simply don't suit me). I have large breasts (30 GG) which can easily look awful (having breast fed 4 kids I HAVE to wear a bra as they now point almost straight down). This means I look good in Empire Line OR body form.

Being short means that many midi dresses are actually maxi on me, but I'm good at hemming. I bought this:

Which made me feel wonderful. But it appears a) she's mortified/horrified as someone my age shouldn't be wearing this (so obviously felt I looked like mutton) and b) she's wearing either yellow or green. She's actually gone and bought something almost identical.

With the currently sunshine (hopefully) I tan very easily and am going olive skinned.

My budget is a maximum of £150.00

I really can't find anything that will make me feel wonderful.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
92
PhaedraTwo · 16/05/2026 16:16

ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers · 16/05/2026 13:16

3rd attempt:

Maybe graduations have changed since the last 1 I was at 8 years ago but that doesn't look like a dress for a graduation ceremony.

Polkadotpompom · 16/05/2026 16:19

I don't think the yellow dress you posted is really very graduation-y.

Can you get to somewhere with a personal shopper service like a big John Lewis? Even if it means a day out of town for shopping and lunch. You could try lots on and have lunch.

I hope you and your dd enjoy her graduation, and your divorce comes through soon.

Bettermuseli · 16/05/2026 16:24

EverythingGolden · 16/05/2026 13:27

The yellow dress is fab and not ‘mutton’ at all. It’s maybe not quite right for a graduation I suppose but I hope you will wear it elsewhere.

I agree, the style looks great on you. If you can't wear that dress something close fitting and sleeveless or tight-sleeved is the way to go.

JaneFondue · 16/05/2026 16:26

I wouldn't call it mutton but it's not appropriate for a graduation, IMO.

Useyourfork · 16/05/2026 16:26

I would go for cream wide leg suit trousers tan wedge shoes for height and comfort and a black wrap style dressy top. With spray tan and sunglasses. Nails done and a bit of lippy.

PlummyAndFruity · 16/05/2026 16:33

I'm big busted also (absolutely hate them) and my go-to if I want to feel elegant and confident is a white cotton wrap shirt like this one...Teamed with wide leg trousers or capri pants (you're short so you may not like wide leg). I have some statement Georg Jensen silver pieces I wear - bangles, rings and a big twisted silver pendant. Some ankle strap high court shoes would look great with this outfit.

https://lunelondon.co.uk/products/chic-und-stil-shirt-with-tie-band-at-waist-cotton-blend-elegant-and-timeless-u3m0z6?currency=GBP&country=GB&variant=51020852724000&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=ac81694da6ce&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=23566699085&utm_id=23566699085&utm_assetgroupid=6674694693&utm_content=&utm_device=m&utm_network=x&utm_loc_interest=&utm_loc_physical=9189803&utm_targetid=&utm_feeditemid=&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=23566699085&utm_assetgroupid=6674694693&utm_device={device&gad_source=4&gad_campaignid=23571390628&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2OO11I2-lAMViptQBh3MRwNOEAQYDiABEgLKRfD_BwE

Chic und Stil | Shirt with Tie Belt At The Waist Cotton Blend Elegant and Timeless

Timeless design meets daily comfort in this effortlessly versatile piece. It is the perfect addition to any wardrobe and offers an ideal combination of elegance and convenience. Whether worn solo or as part of an outfit, it is a reliable choice for any...

https://lunelondon.co.uk/products/chic-und-stil-shirt-with-tie-band-at-waist-cotton-blend-elegant-and-timeless-u3m0z6?country=GB&currency=GBP&gad_campaignid=23571390628&gad_source=4&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2OO11I2-lAMViptQBh3MRwNOEAQYDiABEgLKRfD_BwE&stkn=ac81694da6ce&variant=51020852724000

Grizelina · 16/05/2026 16:36

Similar shape to you and for DD’s 3 graduations (up to PhD) I wore wide leg trousers, silk shell top and tailored jackets. Two of them the jackets were petite Chanel shape with bracelet length sleeves. The third jacket was bold print. I would never wear anything waisted or tucked in as it makes me look really top heavy. The outfits were smart and appropriate. Dress for yourself and don’t worry about the ex.

Nocameltoeleggingsplease · 16/05/2026 16:56

Mamaone11 · 16/05/2026 15:19

Absolutely won't be told to piss off by the likes of you. It's a public forum, you get opinions that won't match your bloody delicate ones. It's piss poor to use something as important as a graduation to point score against the other parent. If you take offence to my comment it demonstrates that you also use parenting to make a point.

My parents divorced when I was 17 and my graduation was the first time they saw each other afterwards. They still don’t speak. It was horrible. My brother ran interference and I did the same for him two years later. He then didn’t attend my wedding, and he got married abroad at a time he 100% knew none of us would be able to attend. Don’t blame him for either.
But; I digress. Go classy. It’s much more dignified. Maybe ask your daughter to go shopping with you and make it a fun day, especially as you have (very kindly) given her dad graduation day.

frostyfingers · 16/05/2026 17:07

Another vote for Scarlett & Jo. I am large of front and trying on one of these was a revelation - they hang well and are very clever at disguising without drowning.

Scarlett & Jo

Plus Size Clothing | Plus Size Fashion | Curve | Scarlett & Jo

Beautiful plus size occasion dresses, UK sizes 12-32. Made in UK. Join the Club FREE for 10% off or VIP for 20% off + free shipping. Shop party & evening wear.

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OneNewEagle · 16/05/2026 17:08

Mamaone11 · 16/05/2026 15:10

Using your child's graduation to prove something to your ex is pretty pathetic.

You should be there for your child.
Nothing more

hi op no dress advice but as above I’d just not go. Id either want to support my dc or just not attend as I couldn’t cope with the ex.

my only other advice would be wear a trouser suit.

tombombaclot · 16/05/2026 17:12

Sorry no advice but PLEASE keep that yellow dress to at least wear somewhere else, you look amazing!!

redfairy · 16/05/2026 17:24

Honestly OP, you shouldn't really be bothered about making an impact but I get you want to feel confident. I'd go understated in neutrals. It's not a wedding. I attended DD's graduation with my EX and just wore a simple black/cream dress. You look like you have a lovely figure so something knee length and form fitting in a quality fabric perhaps.

Holdinguphalfthesky · 16/05/2026 17:25

I’m tempted to suggest something from Manners London. I’m a similar shape to you OP and I don’t often wear dresses, but I love the Puff Pants which do create the illusion of a waist, and I can confirm that the tops do support boobs (mine are 34FF and they stay where I put them in Manners tops. She is known as the Titty Witch for a reason.) She does her things in petite as well as tall and regular.

If you choose a dress, particularly a fitted one, a jacket over the top would probably make it more formal/suitable for a graduation, but underneath you’ll be feeling amazing.

ICanBuyMyOwnFlowers · 16/05/2026 17:30

Overtheatlantic · 16/05/2026 13:50

Oooo I like that.

OP posts:
Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 16/05/2026 17:30

I have zero advice when it comes to style and beauty I'm afraid (I tripped over your post in trending) I just wanted to pop on to say I really hope you find something that makes you feel fabulous and that you are able to enjoy watching DD2 graduate. My only advice would be waterproof mascara so the tears of pride don't spoil the look! Also a (probably patronising sorry) reminder that yes the right outfit absolutely will give you confidence but internal confidence will also boost you on the day, remind yourself that you are fucking fantastic and your EX is a knobhead who is utterly unworthy of you 😉

Calmestofallthechickens · 16/05/2026 17:36

I don’t have specific dress suggestions but what struck me looking at that photo is you have a great figure, and the way you described it (pre photo) doesn’t do you justice at all. I think that style of dress suits you, but maybe if you could find one in a more ‘serious’ colour than yellow, then it would be much more graduation-esque.

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 16/05/2026 17:42

Just wanted to say sorry about your ex and you look great, the yellow dress is gorgeous (but yeah, you can’t wear if dd doesn’t want you to)

Ophy83 · 16/05/2026 17:42

The yellow dress would be lovely to wear for dinner on holiday so do keep it! Your figure is lovely BTW.

For a graduation I would go for elegant but low key.. the white company might have something

E.g. https://www.thewhitecompany.com/uk/Wide-Leg-Trousers/p/A18313

RationalIrrational · 16/05/2026 17:44

I have a similar figure to yours, OP, and for my son’s graduation I found a dress in Oliver Bonas, of all places! It was fuschia, long sleeved V neck, slightly empire line. I teamed it with gold platforms & gold chunky jewellery from OB, too. The lady in there dressed me, pretty much! Have a look in there. I put a dark brown jacket over mine. Looked a cross between business and day out. My ex husband even told me I looked nice 🤣 We all matched the photos well, too. Good luck, it’s hard doing family things when divorced!

PhaedraTwo · 16/05/2026 17:45

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 16/05/2026 15:39

I would definitely be going less dressy. More elegant meal out smart casual than wedding. How about something like thishttps://www.pourmoi.co.uk/products/elle-knit-midi-wrap-dress2/?mm_rf=mm_2f4a5171d78d0b4f35d7

Still colour, but slightly more understated. Arms covered, with a sandal or ankle boot depending on weather. Pour moi for fuller bust

Much better choice. The yellow one would have stuck out in a bad way at any graduation I've been at.

Gleba · 16/05/2026 17:52

This is nice and available in petite https://www.next.co.uk/style/su870638/v12078

Kimmerer · 16/05/2026 17:52

I'd look in Reiss petite

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