Is this dress too white for a wedding guest?

[Macadamia20]

Normally I'm in the camp of if you need to ask then it's a no but keen to hear what other's thoughts are. Is there too much white?
Thanks!
https://www.riverisland.com/p/pink-satin-floral-twist-front-midi-dress-938381

I’m getting married in August and my dress is white with some pink flowers on, so it would really bother me that you are also wearing white with pink flowers.

I think the issue of you getting mixed up with the bride isn’t real, but I do think it shows a level of disrespect to the bride.

Really?

So you are expecting all of your guests to know that the big surprise (your dress) isnt the usual all white/ivory, and not to wear a pale dress with pink flowers, without actually telling them that? And given that they do not know what you are wearing, if they happen to have a similar colour palette on their non bridal dress is showing a lack of respect to you?!

The dress the OP has is perfectly fine. If you cant see that then I would suggest you think about whether you are being realistic (no) and self absorbed (yes).

I don’t think it’s likely to be a random drunk auntie mumbling such things, as, years ago people didn’t obsess about dresses being ‘too white’ . Sure there were some things not acceptable but a pink flowered dress with white background wouldn’t have been one of them.

My two grandmothers had different issues. One was black at a wedding (funeral) and red (makes you look like the mistress or scorned wife....depended on her mood) and the other was green because....I never really got to the bottom of that one but she was brought up as a Catholic in Ireland and I got a feeling it was something to do with that.

I’m sorry OP - but I do get the mental picture that poster means. She’s thinking of someone slipping a silky robe on top of her sleep wear to sit with a coffee on her balcony, rather than a sun dress to cover her bikini in the hotel dining room.

Yes! Those are all familiar to me with things older family members may have said in the 80s/90s.

Is me wearing a white wedding dress at my wedding a big surprise or is it expected? It has a few embroidered pink flowers on the front.

It is common knowledge you don’t wear white to a wedding, if someone decides to wear white and think they are potentially be on the boundary of too much white then yes it is disrespectful because there are millions of other dresses in the world and plenty of other colours they could pick from. If you don’t care about something that matters to the bride or groom why would you want to attend their wedding?

She asked for an opinion, I’m as entitled to give it as much as you are, just because you don’t agree doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have given it and you can call me self absorbed.

Totally disagree with your rant.

and don't kniw why you put this

If you want that coerced flattery thing where people lie that your awful dress is lovely

to make it look like I wrote it when I didn't.??

weird

Lovely dress, not too white. Some of the comments are so OTT!

No it’s fine. It looks absolutely nothing like a wedding dress.

You accused a poster of being rude because she said the "dressing gown" comments are silly. They are silly. I've never come across a dressing gown that doesn't have a front opening.

The OP only asked if the dress is too white. She likes the dress, there is no need for the nasty comments.

As for complaining about my adding the quote, fgs, it's simply responding to more than 1 point.

And so rude too. The question was "is this dress too white for a wedding?"

Would not occur to me in a million years that it was too white.

I wouldnt have even minded if someone had worn a white dress at my wedding. And I'm mentally rewinding through the weddings I’ve been to in case I wore something which was too white. I think this is fine. Although, I may not wear it after the number of dressing gown comments, which I can’t see myself!

Step up to the plate.

You could amuse yourself by asking all innocently where the plate is ?

It doesn’t even suit the model .
have you tried it on ?

Green summons the fairies, and Irish fairies are like Pratchett's elves rather than the Flower Fairies.

When you post to S&B, you invite opinions. Some may be beyond the scope of your original question, but nonetheless you invited them.

It might be that the dress looks like a dressing gown on the model because it's too big for her. It might look bombshell gorgeous on OP. We can only gauge the dress by the catalogue photos.

If you want that coerced flattery thing where people lie that your awful dress is lovely

Please don't quote my words in a way that makes it look like someone else said them. It's rude to both me and the person who is being accused of saying them.

That happens all the time on here.

I'd hoped that S&B would be a safe refuge from preference falsification. Or do you mean that people post to S&B to fish for compliments? If the latter, I'd hope that they get honest opinions.

They don't get honest opinions. Those "it shows off your amazing figure" posts.

The OP asked a specific question. Obviously she can't stop posters posting irrelevant, unsolicited comments disguised as "helpful"

And other posters will respond to such comments. The poster whinging about "rudeness" has nothing to complain about.

Oh and nice sweeping generalisation about autism.

Fgs Yourself.

if you're going to address two very different points, don't make it look like the pister made both those points when they didn't.

my first thought in looking at the dress was that it looked like a dressing gown. I didn't say so in my first post as I thought maybe that was just me & she hadn't asked for opinions on it, Then I agreed with other ousters who said it.

you don't have to agree, but it's not 'silly' when several people see the same thing!

it matters not that it's not fully front opening, no one said it was a dressing gown, just that it looks like one.

now would you please go & find a different bone to chew.

I am autistic. We tend not to lie when people ask us direct questions.

https://neurolaunch.com/autism-and-lying/ explains it really well.

Telling a white lie, “No, your haircut looks great!”, requires rapidly modeling the other person’s emotional state, predicting how the truth would land, and generating a plausible alternative in real time. That chain of operations is precisely what theory of mind supports. When it runs slower or less automatically, the white lie either doesn’t happen or comes out wrong.

Add to that being taught when small that lying is wrong and having difficulty with auditory processing of words, and the process goes:
A: What do you think of my hair?
Me, outwardly: [freezes for several seconds]
Me, inwardly: [A said something, I didn't understand it, replay it, A has asked for my opinion of her hair, automatically start to analyse A's hair, decide I don't like it, realise (if I'm having a "good day") that that response won't land well, weigh up the moral value of lying versus not lying in that circumstance, try to formulate a lie, try to figure out a delivery that looks sincere]
A, based on my silence and terrified frozen expression: "You don't like it, do you?"

By this point, nothing I can say will convince A otherwise. The delay alone told the truth.

I get branded "rude" for this, when it's A who's being rude by treating me like her personal cheer squad without my consent. I have no idea why it's socially acceptable to treat people like dopamine vending machines, which is what you do when you fish for compliments, but I wish you'd all stop.

Like so many others - not too white, but it does look like a dressing gown.

Now, I know the OP didn't ask 'Does this dress look like a dressing gown?' but if that is what a high % of people seeing it are thinking, wouldn't you want that pointed out to you before you wore it to a wedding ?

See also: "Friends don't let friends [do X]" where "do X" can mean "walk out of the office in mismatched shoes" (Context: she kept a pair of black flats under her desk and put on one black flat from the "desk pair" and one beige flat from the pair she'd worn in that day.) or "walk out of the loo with her skirt caught in her knickers" or "buy a shit car" or "drink that seventh glass of wine".

When half the thread sees it, the posters who say something aren't being nasty, we are being protective. If OP has seen the dress on herself and knows that, in the flesh on her body, the hang and fit aren't like a dressing gown, then she can disregard our comments.