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What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body

159 replies

PluckedFromThinAir · 18/04/2026 11:40

I’m turning 40 in June and am having a birthday lunch for 30 family and friends at a lovely old hotel in Wiltshire. It’s sort of fancy but not proper posh, and I’ve hired out a room that opens out onto a patio/garden area. It’s day time, including kids, so fairly relaxed.

I don’t know what to wear! Here are my issues:

  • I had a baby nine months ago and have not lost weight, and am still breastfeeding, so nothing in my wardrobe from life of old fits me, and I need outfit to be breastfeeding compatible.
  • I’m 5,4” and a size 12. My body has changed - I used to have a small waist/sizeable bum at size 10. Now my waist is much thicker, my boobs and tummy bigger and saggier. I have chunky upper arms. I don’t know how to dress myself.
  • On top of all this my hair is falling out and my skin isn’t nice, and I look frankly exhausted and bedraggled most of the time through lack of sleep and eating too much of the wrong stuff.

So as much as I want to celebrate with my loved ones, I’m also starting to dread an event where I can’t just blend into the background.

My style of old was sort of minimalist, good quality clothing with lots of knitwear and jeans. Nothing fussy. I like colour and texture. I’ve never had my colours done but I’m fair and suit cooler shades and tend towards muted - have never been able to make jewel brights work, for example. Most of my wardrobe is Toast, Cos, Sezane (for work mostly) or vintage bits of cashmere. I don’t know what my style is now, I live in leggings as my lovely pairs of Toast trousers and Everlane jeans don’t fit!

I’d love suggestions from wise people who might help me reinvigorate my style.

Open to dresses or tops and bottoms or jewellery/accessories. I’d wear flat shoes such as sandals. Or even cosmetics etc for skin and hair.

Budget up to £500 for everything….

Thank you xx

OP posts:
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77
Hohumitsreallyallthereis · 19/04/2026 23:25

I’d wear a flowy skirt that has a wide elastic waist with a linen shirt that buttons for easy access. I know what you mean about upper arms. I keep mine well covered!

Treat yourself to a salon blowout for your hair.

EleanorMc67 · 19/04/2026 23:26

@PluckedFromThinAir You also mentioned owning & liking a Stine Goya dress, so I had a look at their current range. The ice-cream colours in this are very summery - though it's perhaps a bit more ordinary than the Alemais ones?

https://uk.stinegoya.com/products/workwear-midi-dress-dress-forest-stripe

Stine Goya UK Workwear Midi Dress Dress Forest Stripe

Workwear Midi Dress - Forest Stripe - Stine Goya UK

Workwear Midi Dress in Forest Stripe from Stine Goya. Midi shirt dress with woven stripes, waist tie, V-neck collar, and short adjustable sleeves.

https://uk.stinegoya.com/products/workwear-midi-dress-dress-forest-stripe

EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 00:04

Not a brand that's usually my thing - but this outfit is silk (you mentioned liking nice-feeling luxurious fabrics) & a two-piece but looks like one (easy to breastfeed). If you got the longer trousers they'd be ankle length. Shorter & it would look more like a dress I think. It could look really good with metallic strappy sandals & jewellery?

https://www.poetryfashion.co.uk/product-RS36/printed-silk-cropped-trousers.htm

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 00:52

This one, if you got both pieces, would take you over budget. It might also be too strong a colour. But the trousers are elasticated & the top is button-through, & I love it so I thought I'd suggest it anyway! Plus you could wear each piece separately with loads of other things.

https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/ezra-venus-silk-puff-sleeve-shirt%C2%A0-000854266.html

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 01:01

Another set - from Jigsaw. Neither this nor the Liberty or Poetry ones look at all pyjama-like, IMO. You might have to get the trousers taken up, but err on the long side.

I have loads of pieces in this particular fabric from Jigsaw. It's recycled polyester, but handles like a fine silk-satin fabric. It's also really easy to throw in the machine - no ironing needed. The silver flats are good with it.

https://www.jigsaw-online.com/products/recycled-satin-palazzo-trouser-blue

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 01:20

Not sure how you feel about black, OP, but this is a rather lovely cotton shirtdress? Loose without being oversized.

https://www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/saloni/dresses/midi-dresses/dree-b-broderie-anglaise-cotton-midi-shirt-dress/46376663163121716

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 02:43

Also pretty button-through dresses. One version in linen & cotton, the other is silk.

https://hannahartwear.com/products/poppy-dress-emerald-blossom

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 04:14

You did say smart but relaxed - maybe this is too casual, but it's a lovely dress & comes in several prints, & is button-up on the top.

https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/strawberry-thief-tana-lawn%E2%84%A2-cotton-gallery-shirt-dress-000854248.html

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 04:20

There was also this gorgeous but waaaaayyy over budget Erdem shirtdress on Liberty.

https://www.libertylondon.com/uk/department/women/clothing/dresses/?prefn1=canShipTo&prefv1=GB&start=96&sz=96

So I had a peek for second-hand.

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 04:24

This one. https://ebay.us/m/MbjxW7

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
EleanorMc67 · 20/04/2026 04:30

And this. https://ebay.us/m/NAitpI

What to wear for a smart but relaxed 40th birthday lunch for post baby body
Yiayoula · 20/04/2026 05:03

@PluckedFromThinAir - apologies, I can’t seem to do links but the Aspiga website is well worth a look .
Some beautiful dresses, also trousers and tops that may suit .

Hope you have a fabulous birthday bash !
🎂🥂🍾🎂🥂🍾

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