Any advise on how to look older when I'm in my early 40s ?

[MomWithChinHairs]

That maybe the 1st time someone asked this on here. 🤣 But I fall into the proaging rabit hole. Even my husband wants me to look older as that is what he's into now.

Let me give you some of the stuff I'm working with:
● My natural hair color is dark brown. I'm rocking a pixie cut that's dyed blonde.

● Unless it's a special occasion, I have abandoned dresses, jeans, and skirts. I wear leggings for my fluctuating weight. I were tank tops because of hot flashes, night sweats, and other sweating events.

● Stop wearing makeup.

So ladies, help me age up. 🤣
Obviously not in a ridiculous way as I'm not going to start smoking nor doing hour long tans in the sun. Don't kill me but help me older. Love you guys. 💙

If you asked this on aibu you'd get totally different answers. Why is your h into the old dear look is he a perv or something?

Me asking this question has a lot to do with my own insecurities.

I feel beautiful. I guess I was overdoing it by wanting me the most beautiful to the men who like older women.

I don't get why you want to look good for other men though, are you happy in your marriage? I ask that because you wouldn't necessarily wanting to be catching other mens eyes, sounds disrespectful to your h unless he's eying up women his mums age. I really don't understand any of this?
Many women say they feel invisible to men when they get to 40 and yet you still want to look older.🤔

Well, none of this makes sense to me. Why does he want you to look older? Does he want a cougar?!

Maybe you should just go to bed and sleep it off. You say you live in California which means you’ve been up since the middle of the night and not making any sense.

They like older women if they're that age themselves or they want a mother figure. Why feel the need the impress other men? Are you on the lookout for someone else?Just be yourself and happy with that. Without meaning to sound unkind, you sound as if you have insecurities about how you look and your dh isn't helping to give you any confidence or self esteem either.

Have children.

Well how does he dress?

You have to feel completely comfortable in your skin. I don't think that can be taught when you're immersed in a culture that places such an intensely high value on youth and beauty and manufactured perfection to a certain look and when you're looking to men to give you self esteem.

It's a core feeling and mindset.

Do you look at a baby and think that baby's got awful hair or big arms or whatever? No, or I would hope not. It's a baby. It's fine as it is. You're a 40 something year old. Look like what you are. You can still look nice or elegant or stylish. But if what you want is to look like a hot teenager, then you will forever be unsatisfied instead of appreciating what your body can do today.

On the back of newspaper supplements they do some lovely polyester elastic waisted trousers, in a range of dull colours. 😂

Baffled.

I'm sure you are beautiful OP. We have to remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is nobody who could walk into a room & be described by everyone as the most beautiful woman in the room. The same goes for men. As long as we feel beautiful both inside & out that's all that matters. The opinions of others are not our business, it's just their opinion.

The first change I'd make on eg FB/insta replies on posts is the use of words like stunning & gorgeous etc on posts with or without enhanced photos. It only serves to leave those who don't receive the same responses to feel less attractive, more insecure & less worthy of the compliment. The worst of it is it's often the most genuinely beautiful who are left out. We have a lot to learn if we want to stop this trend of focussing on looks. Also, those seeking compliments on their looks need stop expecting them every time they post a pic. It's not healthy & worse not always an honest opinion & served only to seek favour.

A nice perm?

How does your husband feel about you wanting to look beautiful to other men?

So did you and your husband see an attractive older woman and this is what caused this bizarre thread? Maybe under the influence while posting?

I have wrinkles, age spots, acne and chin hairs. I promise you don't have a young looking face.

Surely that’s enough to be going on with? 🥴

Me and my husband are the same age but I look way younger due to genetics. I have sometimes been mistaken for being his daughter. In those circumstances I would think maybe he wants me to look older or at least my age.

If you look younger than your age don’t you just want to look your actual age instead of an older woman?

OP should go to therapy.

Are you the same ethnicity?

I’m 45 and definitely not invisible, I now get chatted up by young men all the way through to older.

I'm afraid it does....shouldn't it be about what you want and how you want to look not what men want??

But you've mentioned wanting to look older because your husband and other men like it...in what way is that about you embracing ageing...? Its just not.

The older the fiddle the better the tune 😂

Nope