Any advise on how to look older when I'm in my early 40s ?

[MomWithChinHairs]

That maybe the 1st time someone asked this on here. 🤣 But I fall into the proaging rabit hole. Even my husband wants me to look older as that is what he's into now.

Let me give you some of the stuff I'm working with:
● My natural hair color is dark brown. I'm rocking a pixie cut that's dyed blonde.

● Unless it's a special occasion, I have abandoned dresses, jeans, and skirts. I wear leggings for my fluctuating weight. I were tank tops because of hot flashes, night sweats, and other sweating events.

● Stop wearing makeup.

So ladies, help me age up. 🤣
Obviously not in a ridiculous way as I'm not going to start smoking nor doing hour long tans in the sun. Don't kill me but help me older. Love you guys. 💙

I saw your comment on my other thread. I was in a dark place back then. I'm in a better place now.

Honestly it's starting to feel like mixed feeling from this site. 🤣

What happened to everyone telling me to accept my aging when I freaking out about getting old ? 🤣

But accepting that you’re ageing doesn’t mean looking for ways to make yourself look 10-20 years older all of a sudden. Are you having a bit of a difficult time generally OP? It sounds like you might be struggling with something.

It’s really hard to change op- I’ve always lived in bootcut cords or jeans, runners and zip up cardigans/ sweaters and felt all of my friends had passed me out with silk blouses, blazers and skirts or straight trousers with stylish shoes/ runners paired with scarfs. I started wearing these things and my hair down/ in a bun but after about a year of it I just couldn’t anymore. It never ever felt me. Do you love your hair blond or do you kind of go ‘uh’ (my noise sometimes on looking in the mirror 😅).

Are you a man with a weird fetish?

The world is so confusing I can't navigate. I thought this is what everyone who matters wants from me. To accept and take joy in aging.

I am late 30s and despite dressing formally would be mistaken for a teen when I worked in schools back when I was 30.

Now people frequently guess I am in my 20s and I’ve been ID’d by supermarket delivery men- apparently you need to be 18 to receive home deliveries. It has its funny side but it can make you wonder if you’re not very well put together. I don’t think it’s solely the way I look but also my mannerisms and way of talking so I can be a bit self conscious about it.

I assumed you were in the same boat - and you wanted to look your age and feel a bit more sophisticated . Actively
wanting to look 60 at 40 is a bit off though, I don’t really understand why you and your husband want to put so much energy into this.

I think I might get where you're coming from OP. I'm in my late fifties but somehow I'm pretty sure I'm still coming off as a girl rather than a woman and it's started to bug me. Is that the sort of thing you mean? Having said that, though, you should only change anything about yourself because you want to, not because a partner wants it/

I am totally confused.

Getting old is so hard especially when you were once very attractive but trying to hold on to youth with a white-knucked grip can actually make you less attractive. Growing old gracefully is possible. Youth and beauty are not the same thing. Elegance and style are timeless and not specific to any age.
Embrace your wrinkles, you've earned them through laughter and hardship.
Try to enjoy being attractive but not necessarily sexy. And above all, try to not care how people perceive you as that is out of your control. Good luck, OP x

I'm trying to be sexy and older.

Do you mean older, as per “ style?” Ie, polished, mature & well put together, or just sad pensioner?
because your H is probably just fed up of seeing you in leggings & dressing like a wannabe 18 year old

Do-able! But sexy when you're older is more about your mannerisms, not the amount of filler you use and the length of your skirt. The way you conduct yourself, the way you move your body, the understated sexuality you exude with just the hint of something rather than the full show. It's possible to be very sexy as an older women without a blue rinse.

Why don't you just wear clothes that you like and forget about whether it makes you look older or younger?

It's really had to explain what I'm going for. I probably just sound silly.

Have (more?) kids

Please do try to explain. I'm really interested.

This is so weird. OP if you had said "Give me ideas of what stylish women in their early 40s wear" that would be fine.

What is weird is someone in their early 40s who apparently wants tips on how to dress as a pensioner.

There is my husband and there are other men who like older women. I can be a goddess again. Instead of impressing men looking for the youthful and conventional beauty, impress the men who are looking for something else.

It sounds really sad saying it like that.

I think you mean you want to look more sophisticated? People look very different at any age, there isn’t really an ‘old’ look (unless you mean dated and Nora Batty like?!). Look at celebrities in their 40s (Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Amanda Seyfried, Kiera Knightley, Beyoncé, Kim Kardashian) they all look very different and have different styles. Is there a style in particular you would like to go for?

No offence, but I highly doubt you look like you’re in your 20s and women 35-45 all look broadly the same age if my nursery is anything to go by!

I didn't to imply I look young. I don't. I look like a woman in her 40s.

That’s sad, why doesn’t your husband think you’re enough? Surely he loved you enough to marry you, what do you think has changed.

Men (like women) like different things. For most people it’s about the whole package. It’s a fetish if they only go for a certain thing (young/old/blonde/tall/short). Do you really want to leave your husband so you can indulge in someone’s kink? Not that there’s anything wrong with a kink, but I’m sure there more about you than just being in your 40s.

A bit of an odd request! Get your hair to it's natural colour and in a classic style. Wear a twinset and pearls with tailored trousers and some mid-heels or loafers. Wear a blazer if going out. All in bland neutral colours - tan or grey depending on whether you suit a warm or cool palette. Think Kevin's mum from home alone.

At first I thought this thread was a windup then having read the replies I see you have a history of having looks & age related concerns.

If you have inherited genes which result in you having a young face for your age I guarantee trying to look older doesn't work, regardless of what you wear. Wear whatever suits you & try to banish thoughts about age & what is appropriate.

If your husband is attracted to older women then he is part of a large group of like minded young men who use phrases like milf & gilf. You can look forward to aging gracefully & having a husband who is till attracted to you when many older men are attracted to younger women. Be yourself & forget all this nonsense.

I have wrinkles, age spots, acne and chin hairs. I promise you don't have a young looking face.