Help. No clothes for funeral

[Lieandcheerios]

Im short and fat so usually just hide in leggings and loose shirts. Usually avoid any occasion which involves dressing up but I really have to atttend a funeral soon.

I have a black skirt and black shoes but need a loose white shirt and preferably a smartish coat too (only possess waterproof and Parker coat)

Please help with some suggestions. I’m only 5 foot 1 and 80kg so everything looks horrendous on me. So I just need something which will fit and help me blend into the background.

Charity shops are good for things like this; the ones near me (rural, admittedly) often have a lot of dark winter coats bought for funerals, etc, and barely worn. It doesn’t even have to be black, really - unless it’s quite a traditional funeral, the fact that you’re paying your respects by being there is more important than what you’re wearing.

Any dark coat or top would do. I wouldn't wear white.

As long as it’s a reasonably sombre or muted colour, it doesn’t need to be black.

if in doubt, a black scarf can do the trick.

Could you try something like this, with maybe a plain dark jumper underneath?

https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc146552502

I’ve been to three funerals in the last 6 weeks. Not everyone was wearing black, but no one was wearing sequins either. Smart and sober colours is fine. Check out supermarkets, charity shops etc for a top to go with your skirt. Parka or waterproof will be fine, depending on weather.

A plain black tunic with similar coloured leggings and black shoes will be fine. The tunic would make you look slimmer.

Thanks. I don’t even know what a tunic is but I’ll have a google

Don’t … Tunics are the devil. And you surely don’t want to wear leggings to a funeral?

What else do you suggest then? I couldn’t wear the velvet top you linked to though, I want to blend in not stand out.

Wear your black skirt and black shoes. Get a fine knit sweater in black or grey, and a dark coloured coat

A black fine knit jumper is fine with a black skirt. Wear your existing coat

What colour jumpers/tops do you have?

None that fit. I only have a few loose shirts but they are striped. Sad I know

I doubt the deceased would want you stressing over getting a coat for the funeral. I wore a black fleece to a funeral last year. My DB wore black trainers. You can wear a black top - doesn't have to be white.

I know for a fact that the deceased would not have wanted me to go and find clothing.

do you have a big Asda near you?
They have a LOT of dark jumper type tops in at the moment, and are cheap, so not too much money on something you might not wear again.

Wear your black skirt and black shoes.

For some nice coat ideas, have a look at Uniqlo - they also have a page showing how their coats look on different heights, here they are on a 5'0" model
https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/special-feature/measurement

Dress for funerals is much less formal these days, if you are all in black you stand out! I think well covered is good high neckline, arms covered, no mini skirts and keep colours dark. Perhaps a black or dark grey coat if you have one.

What colour stripes are they?

Well I am 5 ft 0 and weigh more than you do and I can look nice so I am certain you can too. Perhaps start another thread for help with clothing generally, give more details about your size & colouring, perhaps some pics with your face hidden and let's get you feeling better.

For now, the skirt and shoes would be fine with any simple, dark top. Don't go for a white shirt, you will look like waiting staff. What supermarkets do you have nearby? Sainsbury's has lots of choice.
tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc146585697

Mainly blue and white but they are awful shape, just to hide my disgusting blubber

People wearing black have not "stood out" at the last 3 funerals I've been to. By any means.

Just get a dark fine knit sweater to wear with your skirt. Your coat is probably ok. What colour is it?

Fancy a polo neck? Certainly covers things up and there is a photo of it with a black skirt (leather but let’s overlook that).
https://www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-ribbed-funnel-neck-top/p/clp60753435?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share
You can wear your parka coat over that.

Black t-shirt, black jeggings, black cardigan.

I think I need a baggy top though as I would feel too conspicuous in a sweater. Khaki Parker coat and black waterproof coat