Wedding guest outfit, seriously?

[Lunaballoon]

I need to buy an outfit for a wedding so I was interested to see this Guardian article. But dear God the first one they list can only be described as a sack! Wedding guest outfits

They're mostly either shapeless, ugly, dull or (usually in combination with one of those things) an awful awful colour

Fuck me! The Guardian really does hate women!

Oh my giddy aunt , they are nearly all dreadful, including the gold dress and who would go to a wedding in a pineapple print

Flipping heck. I think she is taking the piss nearly all of them are awful but that first one is beyond awful.

The first one looks like the costumes they used to get the contestants on the CBBC show Raven to wear.

The first one looks like something you'd wear being dragged through the streets in medieval times on a wooden carty thing.

Yes, I think this is spot on.

The applique one looks like something a cordyceps would be wearing on The Last of Us.

Who Lives In a Pineapple Under the Sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants.

I miss the laugh emoji 😂 for that dress!

When you have a wedding at 1 but a service at the monastery at 8.

They look like adult-sized Clark's sandals, but in pink, instead of the sensible brown I always wore as a child. Ans with ankle socks. 😳

Socks are the way to go this season according to Jess Wotsit Wotshername, don't you know? https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2025/jun/04/jess-cartner-morley-on-fashion-want-a-style-update-pull-your-socks-up
And what a fucking mess THAT photograph is!

Just when we thought wedding guest dress codes were only for Bridezillas

Can we talk about the main picture? Is that an actual fashion shoot? Or is it from a film or TV series? Does second lady from the left have a gastro issues? Has she just read a thread on S&B about wearing white to a wedding? Why are they on a roof? Is the second from left a geezer who's just graduated from macrame school? Has anyone involved ever been to a wedding? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!

The green silk stripey batik dress is nice. In fact it's so nice that I suspect the journalist did not include it and a sub-editor added it later.

How has no one mentioned this?

Even Patsy and Eddie had better taste.

Every time I got further through the article it just got worse….

The gold Kemi Telford dress is just so unflattering to anybody. And Kemi Telford has some really gorgeous designs with beautiful fabric and shapes. Same with Nobody's Child, there's a lot of other nicer dresses on their website and even more if you look on Vinted. I'm wearing a NC dress to a wedding this summer. It is not that snot green shade and I won't look like I escaped from the bridal party or a furniture shop

This one was my second 'favourite' after the gold. It's like a Pierrot costume that has been dipped in custard.

The only reasonable dresses look like bridesmaid dresses! As per a PP. some look like Tu at Sainsbury - which is fine for the park or pub, but a bit low key for a wedding.

I agree with her re socks. The bare ankle looks daft most of the time unless it's hot. Bare ankles and loafers or trainers always looks daft.

Amish toddler vibes

Someone on SM commented that the peasant number " is perfect for the passive aggressive wedding guest who insists that they had a gorgeous cream number, but everyone said no because they would upstage the bride, so FINE I SHALL JUST WEAR A SACK THEN."

I think a special mention should go to this one, too. Astounding.

We will have to agree to disagree. I think loafers generally look silly with skirts and dresses anyway, but with socks they’re downright ridiculous with skirts or dresses, unless one wishes to look like a school girl.

It’s made it on to Bluesky with someone asking of it was actually a troll that wrote the article 😂 https://bsky.app/profile/youngvulgarian.marieleconte.com/post/3lqxrchqjek2y