Fuck what I can I wear to this wedding?

[dumpydumpydumpdump]

Son getting married this summer. Her mum is 6ft and slender. She's going to look incredible as MOB

I am short, fat (22-24) and with massive boobs. Like huge!

Feeling a bit panic stricken now.
Don't even know what I want to wear let alone find it.

I like patterns but don't want to look like upholstered armchair.
Like most colours, complexion is fair, mousy hair.

No overt cleavage on show. Calves also fecking hug3 so not too short.

Maybe hat. But I look silly in anything small because of massive boobs and tummy.

Arse also size of a small country.

I am perfectly happy with my size mostly, certainly no motivation to starve. But wtf am I going to wear? I'm going to let him down by looking fucking awful. I jus5 want something chic and comfortable.

Budget - not bothered. I was going to look at bombshell but they gone bust. All the MOB/MOG stuff seems to be for thin elegant Carole Middleton types. Love Carole btw. But I need something for a Miriam Margoles shape.

Wow, your responses to well-intentioned commenters are really rude. If you just want to scoff at suggestions, why post in the first place?

For the love of god don't do emerald green or any other bright or jewel tone. Aim for something unobtrusive like mauve or dusty rose.

It is what it is. Aim for restraint and dignity.

Invest in great support bra and one piece underwear.
Natural fibre - silk linen.
roomy sleeves, longer tunic style, lovely hat.
The colour? Nothing that stands out but a pattern might work, a mid dusky blue. Are the photos in a garden or against bluestone?
Jewellery - longish pearls, family items.
Say yes to wearing a corsage.

I’m a similar height and shape to you, with the same anxieties prior to our eldest son’s wedding about being compared to the bride’s super-slim, fit and ultra glamorous mother. Fortunately, I stumbled across Ann Balon MotB outfits. She designs for a wide range of shapes, and many of her outfits are designed and made especially for curvier women. She uses natural fibres (cotton, viscose and silk - so really comfortable and breathable) to make beautiful, elegant, lacy outfits that drape beautifully. There is a gorgeous range of colours too - from subtle pastels, dove grey etc through to vibrant fuchsia, beautiful claret and deepest blues.

I know I’m waxing lyrical here but I’m honestly not connected to her sales in any way… I just remember the relief I felt when I finally found something to wear that I felt really confident in. Prior to finding this, I was absolutely dreading being looked at or photographed but on the day I felt so good, I danced the night away and was happy to be photographed. I even liked the photos afterwards - a first for me!

The final proof of the pudding was when our younger son got married a couple of years later, I headed straight to google to search my nearest stockist of Ann Balon! Both outfits cost a fortune (£750+) but I honestly felt a million dollars so it was worth every penny to enjoy the special day. If you don’t mind buying preloved clothes, EBay often have Ann Balon outfits on sale.I originally intended to sell my outfits to recoup some of the costs after the weddings but I love them so much I couldn’t bring myself to do it!

Best of luck and I hope you and all your friends and family have a fabulous day!

Another recommendation for Scarlett and Jo. I managed to get a half price dress from them for my siblings wedding. I was on the verge of wearing a bin bag or not going. I wore this one after ordering a few https://www.scarlettandjo.com/collections/plus-size-dresses/products/victoria-teal-ecru-angel-sleeve-mesh-long-midi-dress?pos=26&&fid=a29feaeee&ss=c&variant=47538839060788

She made one comment to one rude poster. Everything else she said has been perfectly pleasant and polite. She hasn’t scoffed at anyone.

This has reminded me that, when DD1 married 15 years ago, I spent a while watching Ann Balon outfits on eBay.

The styles don’t seem to have changed at all.

In the end I had a dressmaker make my outfit. It was expensive, but it fitted.

John Lewis don't do personal shoppers in-store for size 22.

Or at least they didn't when I tried to book a few years back. They only did online appointments, and the whole experience was pretty rubbish IMO. The personal shopper showed me loads of frumpy clothes, nothing stylish except a nice top that was 2 sizes too small but she suggested it might come up big and work.

I couldn't work out if she was pigeonholing me as frumpy due to being 2 decades younger than me, or if that's all they had in my size.

Op has made themselves clear on this issue. If she wanted suggestions on losing weight she would ask for it. What works for you is not necessarily going to work for her.

It absolutely is when it’s on a style and beauty thread and op has stated they are happy with their size. Also grandchildren have absolutely nothing to do with it.. Commenting on someone’s size when not asked for on a topic nothing to do with weight loss is rude no matter how politely it’s said.

Good for you. That makes it even worse that your jumping on the bandwagon then.

I'm baffled as to why some posters are still haranguing the OP about her weight.

I'm going to take a wild guess that she knows - nothing you have said will be new to her or a surprise.

But she's come on this thread to talk about fun and fashion, not to have her health slapped in her face like a wet fish.

Go away, wet fishes. The OP presumably has a GP, who can do what you're doing but with significantly more medical knowledge.

Stick to the brief and stop pooping the party.

Yes, yes, how dare you be seen fgs.

@BettyBardMacDonald, why are jewel tones undignified? Beautiful colours.

I think the worst thing the OP could do is aim to blend into the background in some drab, pastel horror. Much better to go for a rich deep blue or dark pink that says "I'm here and having fun".

Went to a wedding this summer where the stunningly beautiful MOB, looked v unhappy and scowled at everyone all day. Whereas the MOG (who looked a lot like Dawn French, with similar figure) was having a ball and was full of life and fun. Everyone gravitated towards her.
Try Joanna Hope, their styles are often a little bit different.

You’ve made me laugh reading your posts Op, I imagine you’re so much fun in real life to be around.

Are there any celebs with similar physiques to yours that you could take inspiration from as to styles that may work?

Hair appointment actually already booked
Agree re shifts - not going to work but thanks for the suggestions
Interesting re MOB dress shops etc, will think on and there are some fabulous links to work through. I feel a lot more inspired now.

Just do have to say - Mounjaro? Are you have a laugh? Just didn't know where to look for a good frock! That doesn't render me unable to think for myself. FWIW I'm not signing up for a medication regime and I didn't ask for weight loss advice. If I HAD and then told you to button it then sure that would be rude but that's not what's happened here.

And don't get me started on the fat = miserable trope. Sorry to disappoint but that's not me.

And no I'm not blending in. There's a difference between not wanting to look like a Laura Ashley sofa and wanting to disappear!

I'm going for this approach op. Could you get a personal trainer for 2 months and then start shopping?

Monochrome always looks really chic and sophisticated for a wedding especially if you’re mother of the groom. Here’s some links to an outfit that I think would look great!

https://jacquivaledesigns.co.uk/products/mother-of-the-bride-black-ivory-hat-wedding-ladies-day

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/sophin-ivory-corsage-jacket-901201106.html#cgid=jackets&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=901201106&pos=0

https://www.evans.co.uk/yours-curve-black-lace-crochet-midi-dress-p

I’m a little sure why my reply was deleted. Where is everybody else actually saying lose weight. I merely said that despite everything that OP is saying about how she doesn’t want to lose weight . All her comments about her body are in a really negative way.

Good for you, OP. It would be a shame if your son couldn't spot his own mother at his wedding because you blend in with the curtains 😂.

Look at her bloody username!

That said, all the mother of the groom specialist website are so horrendously aging you’ll look like hyacinth bouquet, I reckon get something made

@catatonique dumpy means short and rotund/stout/fat. That's me. I've no issue with that, just wanted ideas for what to wear with that being the case. I'm not going to pussy foot around it, you could lose a decent sized flock of sheep in my cleavage and I don't need to duck in Tudor cottages!

Totally agree though I do not want to look like Hyacinth Bouquet!

OP- lots of this advice is focused on your dress size, but not the petite aspect. I’d say whatever you go for, aim for one block of colour. Ideally a dress with sleeves, but if you want to have a short sleeve with a jacket, aim for similar colour. Do not go for midi length if you can avoid it, cutting across the lower leg will make you look shorter than knee length or ankle length.

get the dress first then find a nice hat, but beware of styles that will make you look like a mushroom if many of the guests will be looking down towards you and nothing that will be tricky for you to look upwards in - you should be able to see!

shoes- go for flats or if you want heels for the photos, have some nice flats to change into after the drinks and photos. If you go for heels, if there’s a chance you’ll have to stand on grass, go for wedges, it’s the UK, even if it’s dry on their wedding day, if it’s been raining earlier in the week you could find your heels sinking in and it’s hard to look glamorous while sinking.

And hold off for a couple of weeks before going shopping, many shops will still be clearing their Christmas/winter ranges, the wedding guest outfits won’t be in the shops yet.