What to wear to an event with family drama likely?

[KatPurrson]

So this is a bit of an odd one. I have to go to a family will reading. I have no idea what to wear as I’ve never had to do this kind of thing before. It’s a solicitors office and it’s followed by a tea (as there wasn’t a funeral for various reasons).

I suppose the thing is partly the occasion and partly about who else will be there.

There are some older fairly judgemental family going to be there, who disapprove of my life choices. I think my main thing really is being able to feel confident whilst also feeling like myself. Wouldn’t rule out the possibility of high drama given some of the personalities involved. So I am looking for something between armpit and a safety blanket.

I am late forties, size 16 bust, size 14 hips. Long dark hair and suit warm, bright colours or black and white at a push. Knee length or long skirts/dresses, midi looks awful on me and not a big fan of trousers.

My best thought so far is something like a bias cut dress with a nice cropped cardigan but I have no idea really.

Stab proof vest?

If there's going to be drama make sure you are wearing trainers so you can run away!

I didn't realise will readings were a thing these days?

Honestly, just wear what you want to wear and will feel comfortable in. Whatever you wear is hardly likely to make any difference to the drama loving people there, and why do you care anyway?

I'm guessing "armpit" is a typo for "armor"!

Also, does one have to attend a will reading, could you not go? In the circumstances you describe I would avoid going if at all possible.

Keep it sombre, not too bright or 'out' there ' if you want to blend in and not draw attention to yourself. Maybe you have a suitable interview outfit?

Do you have a dress you can wear with a jacket or cardigan , boots or low heel shoes.

What would you have worn if there had been a funeral?

On the other hand, just go as yourself. Who cares what the oldies think.

Think the drama is more likely to be a cross between Agatha Christie and Dynasty than full on gangland warfare.

They aren’t and the fact there is being one kinda tells you about the people involved.

I care because at the end of the day they are my family and I know them. I know a well chosen outfit can deflect a lot with this bunch.

Personally I wouldn't go. Will readings are not normal. The solicitor/executor has to tell you if you inherit anything any way, and once probate has been granted the will is a public document.

Yes indeed, that’s pretty funny.

Well I wouldn't be putting on a twinset and pearls to please these judgemental people. Wear what you want!

I’m think flat beaded sandals for similar reasons, although I can do a pretty good sprint in high heels.

A friend of mine once said “I’ve seen you run in high heels. If it was an Olympic Sport you’d be on the British Team”. It was after I ran up Tottenham Court Road and leapt onto a moving Routemaster Bus.

It’s been a while though.

Part of me thinks that, another part of me thinks it’ll be quite entertaining. A good outfit could tip the balance. Partly in the sense that it’ll deflect some drama, partly in the sense that it’ll give me an excuse to buy some clothes.

What would you normally wear for a semi formal
occasion. What would you normally wear to a funeral?

No specific suggestions but i think ideally an outfit that makes it harder for them to be mean.
Ie not bright colours

Pastels beige or white / cream in soft fabrics that are more " feminine".

Im thinking specifcally of celebrity women post scandals / in court cases who dress to convey a message.

Agree re trainers also select bag carefully. One decent sized one so you can grab and go. No hunting about for umbrella, scarf water bottle, etc.

What do you usually wear for work? I wouldn't buy something new for this, just something simple and smart enough that any judgey people won't have cause to get huffy.

Thanks. This is helpful. I do very much want to be myself. They’ll disapprove of me whatever I do, so I just want to do it in style, if that makes sense.

I don’t have an interview outfit as I haven’t had a job in over a decade (don’t need to).

And I definitely want to buy something new. I did initially think that the best move would be to rock up in what I usually wear anyway, which would be a Patagonia skort, a Henley and Birkenstocks but then I thought if I’m going to go I’d be as well get a new dress out of it.

My other go to wardrobe staple atm is is an outsize graphic t worn over a lace slip but I’d be as well turn up in pyjamas from their point of view. Although that could be quite amusing tbh now I come to think of it.

https://www.hobbs.com/product/brielle-dress/0124-5255-9083L00-MIDNIGHT.html#navAjax=true&imageType=model&is=true&sz=60&start=58&cgid=clothing-dresses&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=refinementColor&prefv1=Navy%7CBlue%7CBlack%7CGrey&pid=0124-5255-9083L00-MIDNIGHT&pos=60

If it were me I would be wearing something I thought would make them huffy

The mature sensible part of me does think this. I haven’t seen any of these people for over a decade.

On the other hand, the less mature part of me does watch things like the Real Housewives and Shameless to recreate that warm nostalgic glow that only family can bring.

These people are getting on, this could be my last chance to experience the full drama in all its glory.

just dont go - it s a silly idea

Oh god no. The more I talk about this the more I realise I’m looking for something to please me but not them. But something they could not find a way to openly criticise would be a bonus, as it would frustrate them so.

I wouldn’t go either but you sound fab by the way!!

ditn know about clothes but I would get my hair blow dried so it looks great and maybe a brow tint

Last couple of funerals I have been to I wore a Whistles silk dress in a print that had a black background with a print. They were both fairly fitted but not tight with strategic ruching and zip from collar to hem at the back.

One had Japanese cranes on it, the other had pansies in purple and gold. I chose the former because I really loved it and the latter because the colour of the pansies matched the colours in the stained glass window of the family church the funeral was held at.

Either of those would be ideal but unfortunately I have both to the charity shop in a clear out a couple of years back.

Where do you usually buy your clothes from? I think you need to go flamboyant with something more sober to pull the outfit together.

Make a statement!