What to wear to an event with family drama likely?

[KatPurrson]

So this is a bit of an odd one. I have to go to a family will reading. I have no idea what to wear as I’ve never had to do this kind of thing before. It’s a solicitors office and it’s followed by a tea (as there wasn’t a funeral for various reasons).

I suppose the thing is partly the occasion and partly about who else will be there.

There are some older fairly judgemental family going to be there, who disapprove of my life choices. I think my main thing really is being able to feel confident whilst also feeling like myself. Wouldn’t rule out the possibility of high drama given some of the personalities involved. So I am looking for something between armpit and a safety blanket.

I am late forties, size 16 bust, size 14 hips. Long dark hair and suit warm, bright colours or black and white at a push. Knee length or long skirts/dresses, midi looks awful on me and not a big fan of trousers.

My best thought so far is something like a bias cut dress with a nice cropped cardigan but I have no idea really.

Very good! 🤣😂

https://www.jigsaw-online.com/products/sharan-ranshi-silk-dress-purple this with a nice blazer

I bought this dress a few days ago. It's really versatile as it's simple. I've bought it mainly to wear with my kingfisher necklace but it could be worn with a belt or a t shirt under it.
https://www.primark.com/en-gb/p/rib-knit-v-neck-dress-brown-991096284616

This thread though

Oh come on. You know exactly what to wear. Why the over-sharing?

I have some overalls, not prison issue sadly, but they were one of the first things I thought about. I was thinking of wearing those with a red obi belt in a reference to Julia in 1984 (see upthread about Spanish Civil War and political disagreements).

It would send different messages to different sides of the family. One side would take it as a reference to Orwell’s critique of the authoritarian (Stalinist) state plus his involvement in the Spanish Civil War and the other would see it as a reference to Orwell being a snitch.

On the one hand it could mean both sides see me as their own and I come out unscathed. But it could also mean I come under fire from both sides. So a high risk strategy.

I did subfusc for a while as a young academic, very much in the style of what is now called dark academia, but that was a long time ago and sadly my academic career ended very quickly.

I dabbled in wine (tweed skirt and angora jumper) at the time but the colour really does not suit me. It made me look like death. I settled for switching between black and charcoal grey. I basically had the same garments but in each colour. Betsey Johnson frock coats, two knee length skirts with a little ruffle at the hem and two long polo neck jumpers in an slightly transparent wool/angora/silk knit, that I wore over a dark camisole. Matching opaque tights and black suede wedge heel Mary Jane’s from Kurt Geiger and a Russell and Bromley cross body bag. I’ve gone off down memory lane again. It was a time I was still in regularly contact with just about everyone so it might be worth revisiting.

I’ve just gotten rid of a load of Beaumont Organic white linen dresses to thrift+. There was one with cotton lace trim in a sort of flapper type placement that was very nice.

Cloth of gold would be a bad plan. None of them are royalists and only one religious. She is a minister and it is oft remarked upon as odd by both sides.

That’s lovely.

Probably the neurodivergence I suspect.

The thing is, I really don’t know what to wear. I keep having ideas but then seeing a hitch and also going back and forth between them.

Not unlike my early relationship with my family tbh.

I cannot wear a midi. I really can’t. It’s a shame because I everything is midi these days and that is partly why I am struggling to find something I think.

Floor length or a longish mini are my realistic options.

“Gotten” ?

Well I need to sharpen my wits if I have to go into the Lions Den soon.

I’m very out of practice, as you can probably tell, and no match for the all comers I will have to face. If I can’t brave Mumsnet, how will I cope with my family?

I must say though, the proverbial nest of vipers has largely restored my faith in humanity on this occasion.

If you haven't seen them for a long time they might be quite different to how you remember them, mellowed a bit possibly. What would you wear to a solicitors office? I would go with something smart casual, which would be trousers and a tunic top and fairly flat shoes for me, in dark or muted colours, really doesn't sound like you though! It does sound like something out of Agatha Christie.

Let us know how it goes.

Scottish.

Good enough for Shakespeare, good enough for me.

Still used a lot in US/Canada likely in part due to scottish heritage of a lot of immigrants/colonist/colonisers.

Take your pick.

I hoped so too about the mellowing bit til I spoke to some of them on the phone. Nope. Several culture war talking points came up within the first few minutes.

Thank you, I will report back.

I do also realise that this fuss about the dress is in part to stop me bottling it. I’m also already planning a visit to my mother’s memorial (same City) on the same day so I get an emotional counterpoint to it. It’s a plaque in the donor wall in an Art Gallery.

I haven’t seen it yet since it went up since the pandemic started and I am immunosupressed so I still have to mask everywhere.

My husband did visit it yesterday as he was meeting a friend and said it looks lovely and the space is very open so it would be ok for me to go in if we went at a quiet time. I also have photos the gallery people sent me.

But I really want to see it in person. I feel this would wrap up a lot of the things that have happened in the family, before and also since her death, once and for all. Today is her birthday funnily enough.

So that’s the other factor, I have to accessorise with a mask. I go have one with a clear face portion I bought online from the US. I can see that being another flash point given the culture war stuff.

And of course, as I write all this I realise just how silly and foolish it is to go. And that really I just shouldn’t. But Indo also feel this will close the door forever in a way that really gives me peace. I have worked so hard for that peace and I’d like to close the door and wrap it in a bow.

I like you @KatPurrson.
Wear something swooshy. And a Lulu Guinness doll-face bag.

If me I'd channel Sienna Miller in Anatomy of a Scandal.

I think trouser suit and trainers. Maybe a statement bangle. You reference "Dynasty" and I distinctly remember Alexis pushing Krystal down a staircase.

So stay away from staircases!!!

Harem jumpsuit, from EBay about £10,
Nice bright jacket.
Belt.
Heels.

Necklace to offend.
A few fake tatoos, that peep out.

Thank you! My mum used to call me doll face when I was little so that’s a good idea (comfort blanket as well as armour).

I’ve never seen that, I’ll take a look.

I had a lovely black pinstripe trouser suit used to wear with trainers in the 00s. The trousers were quite baggy and slouchy but the the jacket was fitted.

It was by Allessandro Dell’Aqua and I got it in a sale from Selfridges for £100 reduced from a grand. I use to wear it with red adidas gazelles and a red sleeveless top that had a print on it of a bandolier of red lipsticks rather than bullets. Oh I wish I still had that outfit. It would be perfect.

I saw a pink cord suit not dissimilar on Sezanne not long ago and really did think about it. I wish I had.

Bonus points if the heels are Timberland boot style.

I'd wear jeans, black t shirt, smart linen jacket and trainers. I would not be buying anything special. They will disapprove anyway so wear what you like.

I’m going to suggest Kevlar and many hidden spycams. Maybe even a trenchcoat and fedora.

Or go the whole Agatha Christie vibe and channel Miss Marple in tweeds or a nice lace fichu.