What to wear to an event with family drama likely?

[KatPurrson]

So this is a bit of an odd one. I have to go to a family will reading. I have no idea what to wear as I’ve never had to do this kind of thing before. It’s a solicitors office and it’s followed by a tea (as there wasn’t a funeral for various reasons).

I suppose the thing is partly the occasion and partly about who else will be there.

There are some older fairly judgemental family going to be there, who disapprove of my life choices. I think my main thing really is being able to feel confident whilst also feeling like myself. Wouldn’t rule out the possibility of high drama given some of the personalities involved. So I am looking for something between armpit and a safety blanket.

I am late forties, size 16 bust, size 14 hips. Long dark hair and suit warm, bright colours or black and white at a push. Knee length or long skirts/dresses, midi looks awful on me and not a big fan of trousers.

My best thought so far is something like a bias cut dress with a nice cropped cardigan but I have no idea really.

They never were a thing. It's an invented plot device.

As for the comments that this is an inappropriate concern because someone has died, death isn't always a tragedy: to the religious or pragmatic, it's often just a part of life and not always a negative thing, especially at the end of a long well lived life. And the poster sounds sad and vulnerable to me - just another human being trying to get on as best she can.

@EvelynBeatrice I thought that too until she agreed that she could choose not to go, but wants to delight in the drama (and be dressed for the occasion).

It's not about death being always a tragedy - it's about the fact she's going simply to enjoy a bit of drama. She's not 'just trying to get on as best she can', she's enjoying the show.

Then after being called out on that, she came back with the 'poor me's' about how it's the last chance to see her blood relatives.

Sorry, but I lost sympathy and I'm bowing out now - this is a ridiculous thread.

They never were a thing. It's an invented plot device.

It's a bit disappointing that OP's married. Otherwise, when the tweeny tells her that she thinks the departed was murdered and is subsequently done in herself, she could have the Agatha Christie version of a meet cute with a dashing young man and together they could solve the mystery while OP wears a selection of dashing hats.

I may be getting Tuppence and Tommy mixed up with real life again, though.

I don’t have to attend but I do deep down want to. It’s partly because it will be my only chance I think and partly closure.

With the suggestion of black, I totally get it. I have worn black around them most of my life.

I think I might go for a blend of classic semi-structured silhouette, but in a bright colour. And that way I am being appropriate but showing who I am. I am can be clear who I am that way whilst saying nothing and just sitting quietly at the reading.

Accompanied, as you suggest, with a mix of wide eyed demure humble acceptance of their wisdom at the tea. There may need to be healthy doses of “oh I must speak to so and so over there” and “is that the time I must be going”.

Thank you.

I'm a solicitor. Many of my clients are very rich, including members of the aristocracy. Will readings are a fictional plot device.

Thank you. Pink is definitely the thing that would cause the most seething rage.

I'm getting Knives Out vibes. So I'd consider channelling Jamie Lee Curtis. But then often in life the answer is to channel Jamie Lee Curtis...

Thank you. I am actually now a Buddhist and those teachings are very much about being death being a part of life.

And I am sad and vulnerable at the moment and trying to make the best of this as I can. It’s really not an ideal situation. But it is what it is.

If I don’t go, they will talk about me badly. If I do go they will talk about me badly. I know I cannot win with them.

But I do know that there are things that I can gain from this that will help me psychologically and emotionally.

I can finally be myself around them in some without hiding and I can get closure. If nothing else, I suspect seeing them will remind me of how they are and that will help me miss them less.

It all depends which relative you are?

Spinster Aunt Hetty, devoted to the deceased & her garden Looked after her in later years

Long Lost ingenue Cousin , Sophie recently returned from the tropics

Brother Gerald former wrestler who now wishes to be be known as Amy?

@VaddaABeetch Niece by marriage

But getting on as best I can will involve “enjoying the show”? I can’t change it so I will just have to accept it.

It’s almost like you’ve never heard of bravado.

Also, did you ever have any sympathy to have lost?

Anyway, thank you for showing yourself out.

I see where you’re coming from now OP.
How about this: https://www.theprettydresscompany.com/clothing-c1/dresses-c2/the-pretty-dress-company-hepburn-swing-dress-p282/s10745

I’d rather lean to Harriet Vane and Lord Peter Wolsey but the relative melodrama of Agatha is likely more apt. Sadly.

I love the cut of that dress. Maybe a cardigan over the shoulders.

Lord Peter Wolsey

It's okay, I know who you mean
They're good too.

This is all very Nancy Mitford OP 😁

Damn autocorrect.

When is it? Have you got time to go to a personal shopper?

the ones in our John Lewis always seem to come up with just what I’m after even though I didn’t know at the start what I was after iykwim?

Oh I love Nancy Mitford. Not so much the fascist sister. Not dissimilar political fractures run in my family, perhaps unsurprisingly. A lot of the current problems stem from disagreements over the Spanish Civil War and the Rise of Fascism in Europe.

And now we’re at Jean Brodie. As a Scottish woman I have learned you’re never far from Jean Brodie. Nor Chris Guthrie. Best to try to minimise the Bella Baxter if possible though.

I live in a little village in the Scottish Highlands so sadly a personal shopper would be out of reach. The nearest John Lewis is about four hours drive. Maybe I could find one online?

Oh it’s at the beginning of June.

Channel your inner Barbara Cartland and seriously consider hiring two pink standard poodles for the day.

Absolutely this.
Will readings are not a thing
They are having one to create drama
Just wait until the solicitor contacts you

I have.

So you’ve represented everyone?