Nobody likes my greying hair!

[Sidebeforeself]

Decided to embrace my natural grey ( for many reasons!) Im entering that really tricky stage where I have a big stripe so feeling self conscious but know I have to grin and bear it. But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc. I know DH not keen .

I realise other opinions don’t matter but when I m feeling self conscious it would be nice to get a bit of support. Did anyone else experience this?

How is it not obvious to you that as well as being heavily made up in that photo, it's also filtered?

No-one walks around with a filtered face do they?

Grey hair can be gorgeous. Your family/friends are bloody rude, frankly. My husband tells me he likes grey: which is lucky because that’s what I intend to be. If he didn’t, tough.

Box dyed hair can look terrible at any age. There's no reason why coloured hair can't be glossy and gorgeous with a little effort, regardless of age.

Her make up is less harsh in this daytime pic
https://i.insider.com/60fac5180729770012b97e3f?width=1000&format=jpeg&auto=webp

I grew mine out a couple of years before COVID, as a bit of an experiment.

I add purple dye drops to my shampoo and conditioner, so it is always tinted a bit purple, which I love.

I get so many compliments for my hair now.

I don't mind if I look my age, and I think dyed dark hair on older skin looks awful and is much more aging than grey.

The growing out stage is awful. I have dark brown hair naturally and about 30% grey. I grew it out in lockdown. Life is so much better now! Yeah my hair looked good straight out of the salon but within a week the badger stripe was back and I felt depressed. Now it's been fully grown through for several years, I love it. It's so nice to not be a slave to the salon anymore and the natural streaks look really cool compared to the one tone brown I had.

Would I look younger with dyed hair? Most likely. Do I give a shit? No.

@Sidebeforeself Is it the growing out part that they’re objecting to? Maybe that’s where the silly “unprofessional” comments came from.

There are stylists that specialize in doing a final, all over colour that matches your roots and then you just let it grow from there. It removes the long “growing out” phase where you have roots for years. You could try that, it seems like it looks really nice and having it change all at once should shut them up.

I've embraced my grey and haven't coloured my hair since lockdown! It feels really freeing not to be worrying about roots showing and I actually think it suits my skin tone better. I haven't asked anyone if they like it - I don't care if they do or not! It's my hair and I'm happy with it so why would I worry what anyone else thinks 🤷‍♀️

I know it is an unpopular view but almost everyone looks better with a colour on their hair. The grey is aging and doesn't look good.

You don't have to grin snd bear it. Find a good hairdressers and get it coloured!

LilacpointMummy

I grew mine out a couple of years before COVID, as a bit of an experiment.

I add purple dye drops to my shampoo and conditioner, so it is always tinted a bit purple, which I love.

I get so many compliments for my hair now.

I don't mind if I look my age, and I think dyed dark hair on older skin looks awful and is much more aging than grey

It depends on the hair dye, a natural looking brown colour can look great, but agree very dark hair against older skin can look awful

I wish my hair would be completely/mostly grey or white right now, because I think that would make the greys easier to commit to (and probably look better than my hair currently does), but I think I'm ready to finally say goodbye once and for all to the dye.

I stopped during the pandemic, then went back to it again, and I wish I hadn't weakened in my resolve! I'm nearly 45, so I'd rather my hair would have stayed its natural (original) dark brown a while longer, but I already had random greys by my early 30s, and I'm so tired of the mess and wasted time of having it dyed. Frankly, I don't give a shit if it's a bit aging. So what?! I am aging. Every one of us is, and I'm done trying to cover it up any longer.

As for Andie McDowell and her 'witchy' hair, I wish my hair looked like hers! Gosh, I'd love to have thick, curly hair like that, and I think she carries the grey very well. If that's witchy, I'd happily embrace the witchy vibe!

I'm 45 and I went blonde from brunette a few years before lock down. Blonde didn't really suit me but I was so grey the stripe was doing my head in. Then as my grey increased I went more ashy with the blonde. Didn't have my hair coloured at all for over a year during covid and saw that my natural grey was blending so well with the dyed colour that I could get away with growing it, so I did. I mourn my dark hair sometimes and after more than 6 years haven't got used to having light coloured hair but it's not awful and I've accepted that it would look more weird now to go back. Grey doesn't dye well.

I keep my opinions to myself in the real world but anyone one I know who has embraced the grey looks at least 10 years older than they did before

My hair is pretty much the same as this, but a bit less grey and possibly not quite as full. I love it. It makes me feel rebellious!

I’ve done exactly the same, ash blonde highlights, and stopped dying it brunette during lockdown. I miss my old colour, but as you say our skin tone changes and it doesn’t look quite right.

My sister in law still dyes hers brunette and it looks awful, far too fake.

What is wrong with "aging?" Why is looking your age treated as some kind of moral or personal failing? Men are allowed to age naturally.

I think curly grey hair looks a lot better than straight, mine is very straight, amazing condition without the dye but i definitely looked like a witch, went back to blonde despite believing in the no dye thing

I assume the 'not professional' comments relate to the fact that your hair's not looking its best with a couple of inches of grey roots. It's hard at that stage because it can look like you just can't be arsed to dye your hair, rather than it being intentional.
In common with some other posters on this thread, I did the grey thing and it wasn't for me. I looked like shit. I have hazel eyes and a warm toned complexion - my hair came in steel grey at the back and a dull lighter grey round the front. It made me look sallow, knackered and ancient and was not flattering in the slightest.

I agree, though I'd make a distinction between those who affirmatively dye their hair silver/grey and those who "let" their natural grays come through. The former can look incredible ... the latter less so, IMO.

My family and friends were politely non-committal but there were lots of positive comments when I went back to colouring it!

I think it can really depend on your skin tone. I look very Celtic with blue eyes and very pale skin. My hair was originally almost black and I think my silver is very flattering.
Grey tends to look less good on those with darker eyes and skin tone imo.
I have also found that using a blue, rather than purple, shampoo is better for reducing the orangey bits.

How on earth can getting older be described as unprofessional. I've heard it all now. Older people are the most experienced in my line if work and are recognised for that.

So many tone deaf comments like this - posters have said they like their grey hair - good for them.

I have mousey brown hair naturally and started to see the grey a few years ago, I'm the same age as the OP.

I might grow it out on a few years but it's just mousey with silver strands now and not flattering at all.

So every 6 weeks I dye my roots back to my normal colour and have a few highlights a few times a year to brighten it up.

@QueenOfMOHO

The unprofessional comments are probably coming from the fact that she is in the growing out stage with a lot of grey roots and dyed ends.
That can look unprofessional and unkempt